A week after the deed, I am beginning to feel like Amy is still in the building after all. While anesthesia is a great thing, and I LOVED my morphine drip, I don't like the after effects; the nasty taste that won't go away, the cloud of haziness that hangs over your head, and the idea that - for a while - someone had total dominion over you. Today, I feel things are a little more "normal."

Thanks to everyone who has prayed, called, sent cards, worried and took care of my sweet family during this week.I have a new-found respect for that poor deer I see in the paper, shot and gutted, and two new seasons of Frazier to watch once I think I can handle the laughing. It's still a little early for that, though. I'm almost getting up and down on my own, but by day's end, it's pretty tough. A friend said, "rest, rest, and when you're tired of resting, rest some more." Think I'll take her up on that.

Well, Andy is waiting for me to join him for a movie. We're doing a lot of WWII stuff; I've got 3 weeks to do the chick-flick thing!!

Have a good evening!!

Finally! It feels like I haven't blogged in ages, and it's only been a couple of days!! Switching to the "new" blog system wasn't something my oldie goldie computer wanted to do, so it took longer than I had patience for on any given day. Today was the day to bite the bullet and move on!

We saw the surgeon on Monday. 9:30 am is blast-off, but Andy and I have to be there at 5:00 for a pre-op shot. Great. I live an hour away, so I may as well just stay up and visit with the kids until time to go.

I'm having little tiny waves of panic every now and then, but for the most part, and am calm and ready to go. I have gotten so much encouragement already, and things at school are about ready for me to leave. I've told all my kids, and most of them just wanted to know that I'd be back. This is one of my favorite groups of students I've had in a long while, and I'll miss them - after a while.

A co-worker prayed over me today - she won't be at school tomorrow, and she really, truly believes in prayer. If there is a cell or hospital worker, or anything that needed covering, she did it. I was honored that she asked, and would have been surprised had she not.

Well, it's time for us to leave for services. Tomorrow is liquids, only day, so I'm going by HEB to buy tremendous amounts of Coke and juice. Look out ladies, I'll be racing you to the one-seater in the Alamo!!

Until later - take care.

Well, now I wait. Yesterday, I had an EKG, lung ex-ray; and a C.T. Scan plus MORE bloodwork. My sub is set; most of my lesson plans are ready, people at church are arranging food for when I get home, and so I wait. A week from today, my surgery should be a done deal.

Everyone continues to be supportive and offer advice. "Hold a pillow over your stomach when you cough or stand up" - "Take your pain meds 30 minutes before they are due so you don't have a gap" - "Don't rush" and "Don't let them dismiss you before you are ready" are some of the things I've been told.

The C.T. scan was a little odd. I didn't like being in the donut hole while it whirled around me, sounding ominous. The doctor was way too young to remember, but it was eerily like the time portal in Star Trek, so I kept thinking I'd just disappear. I know technology is good, and I'm greatful to have it working on my behalf, but it did kinda creep me out. That and the dye stuff running through my veins so hot I felt like I was being microwaved! Well, I survived and hope all those images are clean and healthy.

Tomorrow, I'm going up to SA to buy a nice, new robe. A girl ought to get something new to wear, right?!?

Have a great weekend!!

I'm writing in purple today in honor of my daughter, Dana. She turned 27 yesterday, and so today we are doing an "Ode to Dana."

Everyone says their daughter is the best, and I say that about both mine at every chance, but today Dana really is. She has spent her whole life giving me things to smile about, think about, worry about, and dream about.

Her birth was a little scary, and so I think that on top of her being my first, when things settled down and we knew she'd be okay, that just did it for me (and her dad). My labor was eternal, and to help me rest, my doctor ordered Demerol. Well, I got it, but then the shift changed, and another nurse also gave it to me. Needless to say, Dana was really relaxed when she was finally born, and things were touch and go for a while until it all got out of her system. Being the novices we were, we had no idea till later how serious it was.

Well, now she is fine; intelligent, beautiful, complex, wise, caring, loving beyond reason, and fiercely independent. I shiver to even consider ever being that independent even at this seasoned age, yet she thrives upon it. I pale in her dust on just about every realm - I just hope I had a little something to do with how amazing she is.

I know, enough is enough - but looking back over her life, I figure she deserves a little glory, and it IS my blog!

So, here's to Dana's 27th year. Let's hope it has all to goodness of last year's, none of the pain, and more happy memories than she can imagine!

Thanks for listening to a proud mom.

Andy and I feel very strongly about dealing with things up front and honestly. I had to adjust to that, since my nature is to run and hide, especially when things get rough. So, Sunday night, after we'd talked to the kids about my upcoming surgery (Feb. 9 - hysterectomy), we "went down front" and Andy told our church family what is ahead for us. People were curious and asking questions, because they knew I'd had a "procedure" in Dec., and were concerned about the outcome. I'd not had a chance to talk to Dana, Erin and Gregg, so very few people knew what was up.

What struck me about the responses I got were just how very tender my brothers in Christ were. I was hugged and kissed by so many wonderful men, who had tender words of encouragement and love. It was almost more than I could handle - some I expected, but others truly surprised me by their openness. I won't ever forget that.

And then there were the ladies! My goodness, you'd think this was the best thing on earth!! Each one who'd been there was so upbeat and full of good advice, and that was good to hear, too. I really hope they are right; and that I feel better and get a clean bill of health soon.

So now you know, too. I hear I have the best guy in SA doing my surgery, and that his people re-coup faster and more completely than other surgeons. There are things I'm certainly dreading, but overall, I'm optimistic and trusting in the Lord.

I'd appreciate your prayers.

I'm a happy mom - all my kids and the grandpuppy are going to be here to celebrate the 27th anniversary of Dana's birth. We're having friends over, the food will be plentiful, and the games hilarious to behold.

Then, Sunday will be the first luncheon of the "new" eldership and their wives at the Hutton home. I hope it's the first of a tradition to help us bond and grow more in love with each other for the betterment of the congregation.

Well, I'm off to visit with Dana - yippee!!

Cool day in the life of a teacher, today. On Thurs., Andy leaves early to meet up with some of his buds for breakfast, so I just toodle on and treat myself, too. Usually, it's a breakfast combo at Sonic - great bacon- but for some reason today, I went to McDonald's. Drove up, ordered, then went up to the window.

As I sat waiting, I notice someone inside RUNNING over to the window toward me. It was Mario from years gone by; now a man. He had this great big smile on his face, and stuck his hand out the window to shake mine. "How are you?" he asks, as I sit grinning ear to ear. It's such fun to see former students who remember you! We visited just a minute, and I notice he has a string of dollar bills pinned end to end from his pocket. When I ask, he tells me it's his birthday, and before I can stop myself, I ask how old he is. 23 !! He looks just like he did, only a little taller; same goofy smile and twinkly eyes. I added a dollar to his stash, wished him happy birthday, and went off to school.

At 9:40, Jimmy comes in. He's the boy with the cartoon voice I've mentioned before. Well, we start class, and he is on a roll. Soon, he has us all laughing - forget reading, Jimmy's on. He's eating up our giggles, and it just feeds him more. I know, I should've been strict, and kept us on track, but so what?? For today, we had fun. Jimmy left feeling like the next great standup comedian of the world, and the kids and I had our highlight of the day.

This was a good day to be a teacher.

Human relationships are fragile at best. You take people, and you build a relationship with them; open your home and lives and vulnerabilities to them and they to you,and for the most part, it works out just fine. We "fit" together with some people better than others, and we choose to knit out lives together and it enriches our time on this earth. Outside of our families, our friends make everything better.

Then, the breach. The hurt and disappointment of human nature tears those threads all to pieces, and you want to give up on making those bonds again. The one place it can be repaired is in the Church.

Last night, I was watching some people that 10 months ago went through a terrible fracture in their relationships. Not only are they Christian brothers and sister, but long time work associates. The depth of hurt and anger was staggering, and yet now they are talking, hugging, fellowshipping and loving each other again. I know things will never be the same, but I am so glad that they've been able to repair what was broken. All I could think was, "only in the Lord" .
Only in Him could these hearts be mended. I am so glad and greatful that these weak humans allowed it to happen, and I hope they continue on their journey. It's a marvelous example to us all.

Hospital waiting rooms have to be some of the most depressing places on earth. Today, Andy and I were visiting with some friends whose sister was having a procedure done, and as we walked around, we came up on several waiting rooms, each full of family and friends waiting. Some were talking, some in their own world of worry and fear. Some were watching the t.v. that had CNN scrolling the same sound bites every 10 minutes, not even paying attention to it. A few were eating, some read. Not many made eye contact beyond the initial recognition that we were not who they were expecting, then the head went down again.

Once we found our friends, it was chit-chat. We got caught up on what was going on with their sister, and briefly spoke to her husband. I could tell he didn't want to listen to us - he soon went behind the door to see if he could be with his wife. His eyes showed tiredness and worry - eyes that I have seen twinkle in laughter pretty much all my life. That's the look of a hospital waiting room.

It made me aware that people just need someone there to sit and wait with them - to help the long hours pass by until the doctor pops in for two minutes to give you an update. It's not much to do - but so important. I hope we were able to comfort and give a little cheer to my friends today; such a small thing that can mean so much.

"Thy will be done."

So simple to say, and yet so pivotal in our lives. RIght now, it seems like lots of people I know and love are at turning points in their lives, as am I, and I want to pray for them. At 2:30 this morning, as I sat on my bed and listened to Andy sleep, I prayed so specifically for people and circumstances; and when all was said and done, all I could end with was that phrase - "Thy will be done." It seemed to give me peace to just hand it up to the Father, and I lay down and slept the rest of the night full of the knowledge that He IS in control and that all my worries and desires to be the one in control are now in the hands of my God.

Now comes the wait. What will His will be, and how will my loved ones fare in the process? Like the old song we sang on Sunday night says, "There's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, than to trust and obey."

A plumber just left my house. One of our showers was busted, and we needed an expert to come and look at it before the kids come next weekend :). So, my being off today was just perfect.

He was here less than an hour, and his labor was $80.00. He fixed my shower, so he did what I needed, but $80.00?!?! I do not begrudge anyone who works hard, and he told me he is about to go out and dig a sewer line in the cold drizzle, but still. I don't earn that an hour and how LONG have I been teaching the youth of America?!? Please - let me rant just a minute.

Well. I feel better; he's a nice young man (boy, that sounds OLD) and I wish him well. I'll get over it. It's a teacher-thing.

Have a good day!

A brother as President? I'm intrigued by Barak Obama. I know, he's a Democrat, but he really has two big things going for him; he's running AGAINST Hillary, and he is a member of the church!! He's someone I plan to learn more about - I'm not above crossing party lines if the guy is right.
Wouldn't it be wonderful to have someone of like mind running the place when Bush is finished with his term? I know, he's young and inexperienced, but you gotta gamble sometime.

I found an article about his spiritual awakening when I googled him today. It's from Time magazine, and I found it pretty interesting.

Of course, I'd vote for Elvis before I voted for Hillary!!

Have a good evening.

Today was a nice, quiet day; naps interspersed with phone calls from my lovely daughters and 4 hours of "24" season premier. No fire - Andy even got the wood out for me last night - but still a lovely day under a light blanket. I don't relish the idea of making the day up, but seeing the ice sculptures on my trees and bushes made up for the cable being out.

I hope everyone was warm and safe; able to stay in and be happy. It does remind us of how lucky we are not to live where this is not months long.

Have a great evening!

This was supposed to be an easy week at school; Monday off for MLK Day, then school 3 days, then Friday off for the county Stock Show. Lots of kids here show animals for scholorship money and it's a big deal around here. Then, the weather changed. Today, we had 178 kids out, and the weather got worse as the day went on. We dismissed early and then came home to wait and see. Now, we find out we will not have school tomorrow. My guess is we will now go back for classes Thursday and Friday.

I already had Friday planned. I was going to head to San Marcos mid-morning and meet up at Dana's school. Have lunch in the cafeteria, meet her co-workers, spend a little time with her kids, and head back. Really was looking forward to the time over there, but now I guess those plans will be delayed. I hope I have another chance before the year is up.

Our oleanders in the back yard look like Donald Trump's bad comb-over! The ice on them has caused part to lay over to the right, and the rest to fall over to the left. Funny what you think of, isn't it??

Andy doesn't have to go in until 9:30, so we're up a little later than usual. He's already brought in wood for a good fire tomorrow, so I"m set. I've got the season premiere (4 hrs.!!) of "24" to watch and bar-be-que chicken strips for lunch, so I"m good to go. I just hope the power stays on!!

Well, stay warm, and drive safely. This global warming weather is pretty dangerous out there!!

So much on my heart today; to talk about it all would take too long and too much space, but I'll go with the one most pressing on my mind.

I've never believed in reincarnation; always figured you get this one shot, and what happens, you live with. But being in my 50s and having grown daughters makes you look back on what it is you HAVE learned, and how you'd like another chance. Now, Dana and Erin could not have "turned out" better, whether it's due to me or in spite of me I cannot tell, but I have no, none, zip regrets there. I do wish I'd done a few things differently, but how much of a change those things would cause I don't know.

I do know I wish I'd had more children. I didn't fight Andy enough on that; and we probably would've gone bankrupt if we had, but the more I see families with lots of kids, I wish that'd been us.

Now, our friends are trying to adopt this little beauty, and I sit here wondering if I'd have the energy or courage enough to begin again. This little one just "fell" into their laps, and she loves them already - you can see they fit as a family. I'm really hoping itworks out for them and that they get this chance to raise her in their home. No little girl would be loved more.

It will be odd, though, needing a sitter at their age!! :)

Winter weather is coming! You'd think it was the blizzard to end all blizzards, but it's probably going to be just a little ice on the road down here. I'm excited that we will actually be using our wood-burning stove, and get to cuddle up and watch some movies, but it makes me realize how unaccustomed we are to actual winter weather. I've always wanted to be "snowed in", so I'll take it when I can get it.

I may even wear my coat to worship tomorrow!

Enjoy the changing of the weather!

I'm going to SaltGrass for dinner!! Yippee! Dana is meeting us up there, and we will feast to celebrate the beginning of my new year. I wish I didn't enjoy steak so much; food should not be so enjoyable period. I know God gave us taste buds to enjoy his creation of edible goodies, but mine work overtime and fight against my self-discipline! Oh well, enough angst for today - I smell it cooking already!

Have a great Friday night!!

Well, my 51st year is gone. It sure went fast, and there are some things about it I will never forget. Here are just a few:

I learned that it doesn't matter how old your child is, when they are hurt, you turn into a she-monster who wants to kill the person who hurts your child. All reason flies out the window, and it takes all the discipline in you to behave and let things work out.

I learned your kids remember things you thought were nothing and don't have a clue as to what YOU thought were the big things to learn. Thank goodness!!

I learned my daughter is really smart, and that a son-in-law grows more precious every year.

I learned a vacation can be fun even if you are throwing up and sitting by the toilet most of the time.

I learned a LOT about Shitz-Su dogs, except how to spell the name!

I learned being an elder in the church is a delicate position; one that needs to be taken on with nerves of steel.

I learned a husband of 30 years is one of life's most amazing gifts; the seasoning of lives together fills the heart so full you think it will burst.

I learned that "just" teaching is not what I want to do anymore; I want to touch souls and make an impact on lives like I never have before.

Finally, I learned that 51 is only pertinent when I have to fill out some form somewhere.

Happy Birthday to me!

When Andrew and I married, I was determined to have a "better" marriage than my parents. They fought all the time; loudly and passionately. My mom was not meant to be one of those "submissive" wives, and my dad really wanted one of those, so there lied the problem. I grew up with knots in my stomach, swearing to myself that my marriage would not be like that.

The result of that that determination was that I always gave in. I rarely ever really demanded my own way if Andy wanted something to be different. It made things much calmer, but it made me begin to wonder if I wasn't going about this marriage thing the wrong way. I never told Andy how I felt, so he went through years thinking things were hunky-dorey. Inside, I was becoming rebellious. I've been able to adapt to a better way of making my ideas known, and it's all worked out okay.

Until lately. I've totally lost the little submissive self I was, and Andy is on the sidelines watching me morph into this totally different woman than he's used to. I don't duck and run and say "okay, dear" like I used to; I stand more firm than ever. Sometimes, I watch myself from the other side and wonder who I am... I hope I'm picking battles worth fighting and not just being difficult for difficulties' sake. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks after all.

Today after morning worship, Andy and I had lunch with two couples from church. These 4 people are some of my favorites on this earth, and we had a wonderful meal. The food was the necessary evil to get us together, but the fellowship is what kept us at the table a long time after it was eaten. We talked about all sorts of topics - from adultery to tongue piercing to dipping snuff; and time just kept on going. Finally, one of the men looked at his watch and realized it was coming onto 3:00! We visited all the way out to the cars, and then headed home.

At 6:00, we were all together again, back at church, and visited more. One of the couples then went to eat with us again, so we stayed with them until 8:30.

My point, if I have one, is how lovely it is to spend the day with good friends; just laughing and picking brains and enjoying our commonality. No pretense, no false face or carefully chosen words; just being together and sharing lives.

I am truly blessed.

Sweet dreams -

In the movie, Princess Bride, "As you wish" were the words spoken to convey love by Cary Ewel (his character's name escapes me right now.) Often, I am struck by the things people say and do to show their love and affection for others.

For Andy, it's cleaning. When my dad was in a coma, and I was driving back and forth to SA with my mom, Andy cleaned endlessly while taking care of the "home fires" and two little girls. When both my parents died, he cleaned. When I've had surgery or anything like that, he cleans. It's his way of keeping things normal and secure, and I love him for that. It lets me know that, no matter how bad things look or feel, he is going to be there and life will be taken care of until I can handle it again. (By the way, I've NEVER handled house-keeping normally!) Nothing much rattles the man, at least outwardly, and he takes things as they come... and tries to keep my head on straight. I used to want him to comfort me in other ways, but this fits, and has for over 30 years. It's what we know.

I only hope I give him as much security in my coping as he gives to me.

Andy is waiting on me to come watch "Deal or No Deal." It's become one of our favorite shows, just to watch the thought processes the people playing go through; and to decide at what point we'd "Deal!" I think it's great fun - I've always liked game shows, but this one is one of my faves because the host enjoys it so much! It's a harmless hour to take away the cares of the day and look in on the good fortunes of the ones who choose wisely when to stop. It sure beats a lot of what's on the other channels!

Have a great Friday, and we'll talk again soon.

Back to work today; guess it was time. It was no nice having Dana here the past week, and I really wasn't ready for her to go back, but darn it, she did. Although with my procedure last week my plans got changed, it was really for the better. I have a couple of other things I have to deal with to really start this year off, but one glaring question keeps echoing in my head:

"Why does Coke have to taste to good!?" I'd have a much easier time kicking it if it just wasn't so lovely to the taste buds and refreshing to the palate.

The kids come back to school tomorrow; some will have gotten way over the limit in gifts, and some will have gotten none. I wonder if my little girl who was taken away from her mom will be back, and if Chris and his sister moved like he said they were going to. Lots to catch up on... I guess I'd better go.

Have a good evening.

Just what is a good life? Is it decided before we are born, do we have control over it's outcome - it it "the road not taken"? Can we recognize it as it happens, or does it surprise us in realization when we are old and see it in hindsight? Can our parents set it in motion for us by all their dreams and wishes and opportunities they give us? What about those people who have it "better" than we do... do they really?

Right now, I sit at the age of looking back. I think I've had a wonderful life, even though there are certainly things I'd like to erase and do again, although for the most part, it's been "easy." One good thing my mom drilled into my head was that looking back and wondering "what if" is only a futile exercize - it changes nothing and leaves us with regrets we have no control over. I hope Dana and Erin know that. I also hope they know their dad and I love them with all the love we have to give, and that we did our best.

Now, it's up to them. Today is Gregg and Erin's wedding anniversary, and I hope they always love each other like they do today - there is nothing like young love. They have a life of decisions to make ahead of them, and they'll make smart ones, because they look to God for their guidance.

Dana has the world ahead of her, and that is scary. I'd love to make her decisions for her, but I can't. If only you could go a little ahead down the road and see if things are what you think, and then turn back if they weren't - but that is what faith is, and she has great faith.

So, I sit back and watch. It was so much easier when they were little, and I could make them mind me!! Well, most of the time, anyway.

So begins 2007 -

Just what is a good life? Is it decided before we are born, do we have control over it's outcome - it it "the road not taken"? Can we recognize it as it happens, or does it surprise us in realization when we are old and see it in hindsight? Can our parents set it in motion for us by all their dreams and wishes and opportunities they give us? What about those people who have it "better" than we do... do they really?

Right now, I sit at the age of looking back. I think I've had a wonderful life, even though there are certainly things I'd like to erase and do again, although for the most part, it's been "easy." One good thing my mom drilled into my head was that looking back and wondering "what if" is only a futile exercize - it changes nothing and leaves us with regrets we have no control over. I hope Dana and Erin know that. I also hope they know their dad and I love them with all the love we have to give, and that we did our best.

Now, it's up to them. Today is Gregg and Erin's wedding anniversary, and I hope they always love each other like they do today - there is nothing like young love. They have a life of decisions to make ahead of them, and they'll make smart ones, because they look to God for their guidance.

Dana has the world ahead of her, and that is scary. I'd love to make her decisions for her, but I can't. If only you could go a little ahead down the road and see if things are what you think, and then turn back if they weren't - but that is what faith is, and she has great faith.

So, I sit back and watch. It was so much easier when they were little, and I could make them mind me!! Well, most of the time, anyway.

So begins 2007 -

Happy New Year!!

Andy and I just got home from a fellowship at church, and it was a blast! Not too many folks were there, but those of us who attended ate ourselves silly and played games until the magic stroke of midnight. It made me think about when I was growing up in the church; how serious and sour everyone acted - like it would be a big sin if you laughed out loud in the building or carried on like we did tonight. That is way too bad, because we would've been condemned like crazy for the loud and crazy noise we were making. There's something so sweet about being able to collapse in a man's arms in laughter and know he isn't going to think anything about it nor is anyone there. Is that the "sweet, sweet Spirit " we sing of? I doubt it, but it is a wonderful luxury the world can't comprehend. I was with Andrew, and when 2006 turned to 2007, we found each other and kissed, as we have for 30 years, save one.

Lots of dear ones have come and gone in the years we've lived here, and who knows how many more years we have, but tonight was a blessing I won't soon forget. My brothers and sisters in Christ were with me to mark another passage of earthly time, and I hope they all - as well as you - have a wonderful new year.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Sweet dreams.

This world is just way too small. The other day, while I was waiting to go into surgery, the nurse and I were talking. She was quite a chatting young woman, and I really was just doing my part to be nice. The topic of school came up, then church. Come to find out, her husband is related to a member of our congregation. So, we discussed that commonality for a while. Next, I find out that her dad is a relative of MY dad's. Now, she is telling everyone around that we are cousins (at least 6 times removed!). By now, I'm the most important person there - well, actually I was the ONLY person waiting there - but now we had even more to keep us talking. It was a nice diversion for the time spent waiting, but it reminded me once again, that small communities as well as this world, tie us all together in one fashion or another.
So - be careful who you are not nice too - it's probably someone you're kin to down the line.

Have a good evening!

Yesterday, I had a small, outpatient surgery. Dana came home to keep an eye on us, which I appreciate, and all went well. I am on my way back to normal, but will try to milk the pampering I am receiving for a day or two - :) Not what I was planning to do over the holidays, but am most glad it is behind me.

Small town hospitals don't always get the credit they deserve in terms of care, but over the past few days, I've been impressed with the care and concern given me by doctors, nurses, and administrative folks at our little local hospital. I was just another procedure, and they could've just passed me through, but each and every one I came into contact with were very professional and kind; not in a hurry to just pass me through. It was a nice experience overall, all things considered.

Well, I'm about to get sleepy again, so I'll close. :)

Happy Christmas Eve! We are here at Gregg and Erin's , the girls in the kitchen, Andy and Gregg watching tv. We had a lovely lunch at Carabba's, and then it was back here. Worship was different for us old time Church of Christers, and we had lots of discussion about it. Don't really get into it all that much, but it was interesting... felt very "worldly."

We rode around last night and looked at some of Houston's grandest homes. Cannot imagine living in such a large scale, but it was nice to see. I guess they have the same worries we all do, just on a different level.

Well, the girls are calling. I guess I'd better get in there. I'm obviously missing something big!

Merry Christmas!

One of my favorite Christmas songs is "Away in a Manger." I always loved it for its simplicity, but really came to count it among my favorites when Dana was about 3.

I was teaching in Sealy, and every day, I took Erin and her with me to a lady who kept them in her home not far from the school. One day, Dana said, "Look Mommy, it's Jesus." I tried to see what she was talking about, but couldn't figure it out. The next day, as we approached that area, I said, "Dana, do you see Jesus again today?" and she said Yes. The only thing around was a bill-board with the picture of a man wearing a welding helmet and holding a torch. She said, "See Mom, it's Jesus," and started singing "Away in a Manger." I tried to get her to tell me how that was Jesus, and why she was singing that song, and she said that it was the "Away in a Manger" picture. So that's what we called it, "The Away in a Manger" billboard.

Through all these years, we still see that billboard. Its picture is hardly visible now, and I'm sure the business it advertized is long gone. But for Dana, Erin and me, on the way to school everyday, it was our picture of Jesus, and a chance to sing a wonderful song.

"Well - Amy Young, or used to be!"

That is how I was greeted this morning when I came out of the doctor's office into his waiting room. A sister of a life-long friend was waiting her turn to go in for her appointment, and it surprised her to see me come through the door. We chatted and exchanged well-wishes to each other's families, and then I left. I went about my chores for the day, took a nice nap, and then hit the blogs.

Now I'm thinking about Amy Young used-to-be. Before college. Andy. Dana and Erin. Tulsa. All God's people who have come and gone through my life all those in years. Amy Young used-to-be was a mousy, shy little thing; skinny with dirty knees and tangled hair. She didn't make much of an impression on anyone, and that was just fine with her. Most of the people who knew me then probably keep me in that little box, and would not even know me now. It's funny to think about, actually - to look back at Amy Young used-to-be, and to see how much she's changed.

At the doctor's office today, in some of those long waiting moments you have to endure, I was looking at a poster about menopause. The words "Change of Life" jumped out at me like the title of the movie "Cast Away." I think I even read them aloud a few times. The meaning had nothing to do with the way I'd always read it or heard it; at 51, my life IS changing daily. Each day takes me farther and farther away from Amy Young used-to-be.

Who knew I'd have so much to think about when I got up this morning -

Have a good evening!

I've been very sad the past couple of days... found out some bad news about a couple of my little girls from school, and the life they've been dealt kinda makes me want to scream and cry.

Andy and I worked very hard to provide good, stable lives for Dana and Erin. We "did all the right stuff" - church, "good" friends, culture, that kind of thing. We made sure they were happy and safe and free from most cares of the world. I used to tell them that God had given them to us to raise for Him, and that I was going to do my best to do it right. Praise God, they made it through so far without too much to deal with. These two little ones are not enjoying the life they deserve - and I am so angry and sad I want to say to God that His little ones don't need to face a life so hard at such a young age. I want to "fix" it and yet it is beyond my reach other than to love them and pray that they will grow into women who can face adversity and come out stronger. It kind of puts all the silly things I deal with into perspective and humbles me. And it makes me SO thankful for the care and protection my own daughters have received to this point.

I know that God's Will will be done, and that He knows the outcome of all this, so I give them to Him for His care.

When my mom died, and my sister and nephew moved to California, my father in law told us they'd love us to move back over to the Houston area to be closer to family. We did give it some thought, but when all was considered, we decided to stay where we are for now.
You see, my dear father in law was under the assumption that we were just here for my "family" and that since they were gone, there would be nothing here to hold us. I guess to some, that would make all sorts of sense, but there is a flaw in that logic.

Even though my biological family no longer live in this area, my family is alive and well. We are never lacking for someone to call or see or check in on, and the bond we have through Christ ties us like no other. Sure, lots of times we miss everyone in Houston, and we're looking forward to a big-old family Christmas, but our church family keeps us focused and happy here.

Tonight, we're getting together with some our brothers and sisters to watch a movie and eat together. I'm so greatful to God for providing this support system to us, and I only hope I mean as much to them as they mean to me.

Have a wonderful night. Sweet dreams.

When Andy and I decided to build our home, the lot we selected had no trees on it - not even a mesquite! In a way, it was like a blank painting canvas; ours to do as we pleased. We made some mistakes; like the little tiny tree Carl broke one night, and the beautiful loquat we had to cut down because it got too big and too near the house. But we made some wonderful choices too.

Right now, I live in New England! In the front, I have a Red Oak and a Bradford Pear wearing their beautiful Fall colors for all to see! They greet me as I come home from a long day at school, and stand out among all the other green trees on the block. I chose them specifically for that reason, and it took a few years, but right now, they are wonderful. In the back, outside my breakfast nook, I see my Bur Oak, Chinese Pistachio, and Chinese Tallow - reds, yellows, oranges, and all bright with the sun on them. The first good wind, and the naked trunks and limbs will be all I see, but for now, it is God's splendor at my beck and call. It reminds me of the cycle of life, and of God's love for me, that He made not only a creation for my survival, but for my enjoyment as well.

Pleasanton is known for it's abundance of lovely, stately live oak trees, and I do enjoy them, but on my street, among all the green, colors rule!!

Sweet dreams!!

Jackie and Andy have both mentioned in their blogs about going to the concert last night, so I'll just continue their theme. I guess everyone who went came away with something different; Andy at a concert is a beautiful sight to behold - total mesmerizing oblivion to the world outside the music; Robert "singing" along to the songs so quietly he didn't think I could hear him (there are no words- it's all instrumental), and Jackie - her face so excited with the "being there" to hear it all in person. What did I come away with last night with? A total peace. That all those folks would stop their hectic lives for a couple of hours to go sit and listen and wonder at music from so long ago played in such a modern age. A beautiful blending of ages and application. It kept away the burdens and worries of our lives while we concentrated on an event so long ago that changed so very much.

Thanks, Robert and Jackie. For everything.

Yesterday, as I went to lunch, I noticed some small, white beads of ice falling from the sky - it was sleet!! Several of us teachers were in the lounge, so we all ran to the door. For just a moment, there was silence as we watched something we don't often see here in South Texas - it was almost too beautiful! The sound of it hitting the ground and cars around us added to the effect. Slowly, children came across us and began to spread the news. As you can expect, there wasn't much work going on; as one teacher put it; there's no way I can keep this from watching this - we live in the desert!! It continued to fall for the majority of the day, and by the time we left, it was mainly soft rain falling. To be honest, I don't know who was more happy to see it; the teach or kids. It was a day not soon to be forgotten by any of us.

Today, I read a letter to all Aggie family members from Dr. Gates, as he resigns to become Secretary of Defense. It was pretty much what you would expect an outgoing college president to say as he leaves, but then I got down to the end. He goes on about how, no matter where he goes or what he does, for the rest of his life, he will "Bleed Maroon." I looked at that and I thought, what is it about that college that makes even a parental bystander like me feel loyalty and pride? I loved my college, Sam Houston State University, and am proud of my degree from there, but I don't "Bleed bearkat orange" for goodness sake.

I guess my love for A&M comes from the wonderful years my girls enjoyed there, and for the son God provided for us throught Aggies for Christ; for the focus and push it gave Dana and Erin to be better people and serve others - things they were taught growing up, but emphasized so beautifully at a time when they were making life-long decisions about who they wanted to be in life.

I don't know the point to this blog, other than to say that I hope Dr. Gates is able to hold onto those qualities he listed from A&M as he heads to D.C.
Heaven knows that place needs an Aggie or two!!

I am SO ready for school to be out for the holidays! Even though I know it'll go fast once it's here, I am just not in the mood to be at school. Whine, whine whine - I sound like I never get a day off, and never get to do anything fun, but I'm just not in the school mood. December just isn't fun at school anymore, and it's an endurance race to see who can make it to the end without losing it - the kids or us. Right now, it's pretty much a tie. Ebeneezer must be standing behind me, whispering Bah, humbug! Perhaps I'll find some mistletoe and go hunt up Andrew!!

Jury duty called today, and just like the other times, I wasn't picked.
They take one look at Andy's profession and I become a paraia to the defense. Doesn't matter that I would love the experience of serving on a jury or that I can make up my mind without him prejudicing me.
I sit all day with my magazine and wait to be dismissed.

On top of it, now I hear the school will take my $6.00 I earned for sitting there - grrrrr!

Where's the justice!!?!

Sunday afternoons are the best. After lunch, and until evening services, I love the idea of resting. Usually, I'm reading the paper and watching "Sell This House". If the mood hits, I'll take a nap, but I don't really like to. One of my angel girls might call, and I'd miss that! Andy's nap time hits him at about 4:00 - today he has an elders' meeting, so there goes that idea.

Today, I'm doing Christmas cards. I usually do them Thanksgiving weekend, but not this year. Oh well; I'll get them done today.

Have a wonderful afternoon....

In almost every way, I am like my dad. (Well, okay, not the bald part!) But in temperment, personality, and general nature, I see him inside me. He died in 1990, and I miss him a lot. I hear him sing at church, I smell his tobacco and greasy dirty hands, and I feel his ribs against me when I would hug him in his later years. He loved to whistle and sing; his whistle was kind of blowing with his teeth clenched together and lips apart, not the usual pucker. He was happiest when he was working; either on a car or in his yard.

I made him mad twice that I can remember. Once, I picked up a gallon of milk in a big thick glass gallon jug and promptly dropped it on the concrete. The other time, I took a black ink pen out of his lunchbox to do homework. That pen belonged to the U.S. Government and was not meant to be used outside the office. Didn't I know that...?

Jackie wrote about time on her blog today. If I could just manipulate one day, to go back and be with Daddy.... but I'll wait. I'll see him soon enough, and then time will not be a factor.

In almost every way, I am like my dad. (Well, okay, not the bald part!) But in temperment, personality, and general nature, I see him inside me. He died in 1990, and I miss him a lot. I hear him sing at church, I smell his tobacco and greasy dirty hands, and I feel his ribs against me when I would hug him in his later years. He loved to whistle and sing; his whistle was kind of blowing with his teeth clenched together and lips apart, not the usual pucker. He was happiest when he was working; either on a car or in his yard.

I made him mad twice that I can remember. Once, I picked up a gallon of milk in a big thick glass gallon jug and promptly dropped it on the concrete. The other time, I took a black ink pen out of his lunchbox to do homework. That pen belonged to the U.S. Government and was not meant to be used outside the office. Didn't I know that...?

Jackie wrote about time on her blog today. If I could just manipulate one day, to go back and be with Daddy.... but I'll wait. I'll see him soon enough, and then time will not be a factor.

Good morning!! I'm up and ready early, so I thought I'd start my day with my blog. Not a lot of news this early in the morning, but we are having some rain and nice, colder weather!! It's only 3 weeks until we dismiss for Christmas break, my family is happy and healthy, and God is taking good care of us. It's a good day!

Wait. Not yet! Hold on, I'll tell you soon - Later. Not now. Wait some more. Be patient. Okay - today!!!

A few weeks ago, I mentioned on this blog that things at work were iffy - a teacher had resigned, and for some reason, my principal was considering moving me to that spot. As stated in our contract, she can place me where she needs me, so I felt I had no recourse should that happen, but I told her it was not my first choice when she asked how I felt. She told me she would seek a replacement, but that I was an option. The wait began.

I asked several people around me to pray that I would not have to move. I like where I am, in my little corner of the sacred Alamo building at the far corner of the campus. Days go by when I don't leave it's confines except to go home. I am left alone to do my job, and I think it's a fine job indeed.

Throughout the weeks, I'd get little hints about things, but no official word - until today. My principal informed me this afternoon that a new teacher has been hired and will start in the next few days. She is my new best friend.

So, Andy and I had Chinese for dinner, and I called Dana and Erin with the good news. Dana said I hadn't sounded that excited about anything in a long time. It's the end of a good day. Now, if I can just stay in my little corner a few more years and retire, I'll be proud of myself.

I hope you had a good day today as well. Sweet Dreams!! :)


By the way, I don't really teach in the Alamo... it's called that because the facade resembles the mission in San Antonio.

Things I'm greatful for # 600 (no, you haven't missed the other 599, I just picked a number that sounded about right!!) :

I learned to sing harmony by ear, from my brother and the Barnes sisters. There were 4 of them, each had "her" part, and when I would go to their house and we'd sing church songs, I'd listen to each one and learn the part. Our church was so small, that when we had worship, I'd have to sing the medley to "balance" out the other parts. Later, when Cathy and I would sit on the swing and sing, she'd always sing alto, and again, I'd get the medley.

When I went to camp, and eventually went to college, I got to sing alto all the time; it was better suited to my voice range and I just liked the "neat " part. Sometimes, I'd go up, like on most Praise songs of the day, or if I was really feeling rebellious, I'd switch to tenor. Never bass; I am a girl, after all!

Anyway, on Sunday, our songleader chose a song we haven't sung in a decade if that soon. It's one of my old Poteet favorites, and has the lead change several times throughout the verse. Well, the people at worship didn't appear to remember it, or had never learned it, and so when the lead changed to soprano and the leader changed to bass - oops!! Luckily I remembered the song and went up. Here comes the alto lead in the chorus; same problem! It was a mess, but I had fun singing all the parts. Dana got a kick out of my "leading" the song, but hey; someone had to keep it from falling apart!!

Now, I'm not bragging, just grateful that all those years ago at the Barnes' house, I listened to those sisters sing!!

I got a jury summons in the mail! I usually get them the week following the end of school, when I'm worn out and grumpy, but it came early this year!! Dec. 4; a Monday. I'm looking forward to it; but the questions usually follow along these lines:
"Mrs. LaMore, is your husband Andrew LaMore?"
"Yes" (duh, it's written right there on the form!!)
"He is an adult probation officer?"
"Yes" (another Duh!)
"Judge, we request this juror not be considered for placement."

GRRR! Just once, I'd like to say, "Hey! I have my own brain!! I can make an impartial decision not based on my husband's career!" I would like to do my civic duty and see the process in action, but NO! They think I am not capable of doing this on my own. So, I take my lovely $6.00 and go home.

Oh well, one less day of school before Christmas!!

This has been a fun day, but boy, am I tired and ready for bed!! It began about 9 am when I awoke to the smell of Dana making sausage balls for breakfast!! Yummy, yummy!! After we enjoyed those, it was almost time for the Aggie game (did I mention I slept in!!?) Anyway, some friends came over and we thoroughly enjoyed watching the Ags hold those Longhorns to only 7 points - WHOOP! It was very exciting, and even more so with some alumni and students watching it with us.

After that, Dana and I did a little running around to some local shops... I bought my first Christmas gift, and saw some potential ones to pick up later. We came home and rested as bit, then it was over to the Hutton's to watch the SPURS. (Dana went out with some friends she hasn't seen much lately, and left the old folks to the tv!)
The SPURS didn't fare as well as the Aggies, but it was still a good game.

Now, it's about bedtime, so I'll say goodnight. I hope you had a good day, and that tonight you'll rest and dream of wonderful things.

Well, we're at the quiet before the storm... turkey's in the over, stuffed with dressing, the table's set, and the tea's made. All I need to do is mix up the sweet potatoes and Dana's going to do corn casserole and then, we wait for the Hutton's to come. After the eating is done, and the table is cleared, it's time for games. Later, we'll all collapse into a happy heap of humanity.... Hope your day is as peaceful and full of blessing!

I don't know if people who are not teachers do this or not, but I have this odd habit of looking at a clock on a day off and thinking, "it's 10:05, I'd be working with "Tom and Jerry" right now", or some such thing. It's like I have to keep up with the schedule even if I'm not there - weird, I know. The other thing is, I NEVER know what the day or date is if I'm not at school! It's like time ceases to exist or something unless I'm in my school room.

HMMM, maybe that's not such a bad thing, come to think of it!! Enjoy your Wednesday!

Little girls and baby dolls! Don't see that much anymore; I guess I'm either way beyond the age where I'm running with that crowd, or little girls just don't take their dolls out in public anymore. Well, today, I was on duty after the bell rang. Kids were filing past me, laughing, showing their buddies stuff, talking about Thanksgiving, and this one little girl caught my eye. She was walking along, slowly, with a bundle in her arms. She was looking at it tenderly, straightening the blanket surrounding it, and oblivious to anyone seeing her. When I looked closely, I could see in the blanket, the face of a baby doll! She'd had it in her backpack all day (kids can't bring toys to school, you know!) and now she had taken her out to check on her. It was a wonderful sight to behold - a little mommy with her baby. It made me smile - innocence still lives among us.

Made me want to hold a doll myself.

Before Erin married Gregg, she asked me once how I knew Andy'd be a good dad. I guess at the time, I knew he would because he'd had that modeled in a wonderful way by my in-laws, and he "fit" my list of qualities, but what I said to Erin was, "I just knew he was a good kisser!" and we laughed and moved on.

30 years is a long time to see someone day light to dark. It's seeing the good and the bad, the frustrating little habits that make you roll your eyes, and the shocks when they do something that is so very out of character that it worries you or takes your breath away.

Today, Andy resumed his duties as one of the elders of our congregation. It's been a long, agonizing almost 4 months since they stepped down, and I really was prepared for him not to take it on again. He's not a quitter, and doesn't give up on commitments, and so this has been especially hard on him. He'd not prepared what he wanted to say until he stepped up, and opened his heart for all to hear. Of course, the other wives were proud of their husbands, but my heart was so full of love and admiration I thought I would burst listening to him. I hope I never forget how that felt.

Now, he's back at it - I hope for a long, happy time. They covet your prayers, as do I.

Today, I shop for Thanksgiving Dinner!! My family is among the few in the U.S.A. that prefer this day over Christmas for some reason. I think it's the quiet calm about this time together rather than the hustle and bustle and frenzy of Christmas. An equal amount of work with a more peaceful result.

Anyway, I decided to shop today rather than wait and go on Wed. Duhh! Hopefully it will be less crazy if I time it right and I"ll come home less frazzled!! We'll be dining with our friends the Huttons, as is our tradition, and we've divided out the foods, so we are good to go.

I hope you are looking forward to your Thanksgiving. I am truly ready to light a fire and sit with some wassail and enjoy a few days of peace before the Christmas frenzy hits!!

Here I come, HEB!!

It's Thursday night; our weekly "flake night" where we eat on the couch and put on our pjs early. It started a while back, when Andy had some where to be every night of the week, but we kept back Thursday for ourselves. Now, we usually watch stuff we've taped during the week until CSI or ER come on. No phone calls, no visits, no interuptions of any kind unless it is an emergency. I really look forward to it; it kinda sets up the weekend coming the next day. I'm glad we pulled it aside; even if it's nothing big, it's our nothing big together. The quiet before the storm.

Hope you find some quiet time for your own.

I know you've never done this, but I have decided that I was wrong. Yep; I had someone figured out, and lately I have decided that what I thought about this person was way off base, and that I made an error in my assessment of her.

I share my room with 4 women on a daily basis; now this might seem impossible that we all get along, but we do. Mainly because we are all so in and out that we aren't around to get into each others' way, but when we do all end up together, it's cool. We even laugh about most things and share little tidbits about our lives that border on intimacy.

As I told you, last week was hard. I needed to talk and talk to someone who was objective and not close to the situation, so I decided to confide in this roommate. She listened, and then proceeded over the next few days to give me real advice and sympathize with my dilemna. She made me laugh about the ridiculousness of it all, and left me alone when she could tell I needed it. It turns out she was the perfect one for me to confide in, because while we are roommates, we aren't buddies, chums, confidants, "sisters" or any of that. She's had some tough times in her life, and I think that has made her appear unapproachable to some, but not me. I've seen a beautiful side to her that opened my heart, and I won't forget it ever. I only hope if the tides are ever turned, she'll feel safe talking to me about it.

Today was beautiful; I hope you saw it. Sweet dreams!!

Rarely do I have a week like this one. Work, home, and church converged on me all this week, with worries and concerns and down-right mean-ness, and I am proud to say I came out of it still standing!
I mentioned a few posts ago about changes at work; that seems to have worked itself out, where I'll be able to stay where I am and continue my current placement. It's not a done-deal, but I'd say 95% . That's one worry I can let go of.
We all say we are going to "let go and let God", but boy that is hard to really do. I'll share more of the week as things pan out, but suffice it to say, God's people do not always make things easy or fun. I guess it's the people part of it that messes things up, and we just have to love and hope.
Anyway, I think the worse is over; surely I am due some down time for a while.

I hope your week was better - Sweet dreams!

I really love little boys. God blessed me with two wonderful daughters, and they have made my life full of love and happiness, but I really enjoy having my little school boys to give me some grins during the day. Two I have this year, Jimmy and Pate, come to me everyday for 50 minutes, where we work on their problems with dyslexia.

Pate is the quieter of the two. He is very much what I visualize my dear son Gregg to have been as a little boy; scrubbed so clean he shines, clothes very obviously chosen with love and a fine sense of fashion by mom, the most fashionable of little boy haircuts; you get the picture. He is loved so much, his dad's business is named FOR HIM. One grin from Pate just melts my heart, and I want to hug him so bad I ache!! (now days, you have to be very careful about that!) Pate works very hard, and is very serious, and I feel good about the progress he is making.

Jimmy is a cartoon in action. His voice even sounds like an animated figure. He wears the oversized shirts and shorts and untied tennis shoes that clomp as he walks. His hair has highlights and sticks straight up in front. He has a devilish sparkle in his eyes and a lop-sided grin does me in... I cannot be angry at him even when he pulls something. He talks too loud, and he half-way attempts his work, yet he gets upset if he messes up. He'd much rather be doing something else, but plays along with me because he can tell I'm gag-ga about him.

As different as they are, Pate and Jimmy are best buddies. They come in and leave arm in arm each day, with big plans for recess. I doubt they socialize in the same circles on weekends, but 5 days a week, they have each other's backs. So cute. Oh yeah - and girls stink!!

They make my day!

Sweet dreams!

I called my brother just now. It's our mom's birthday, and since I couldn't call her, I decided on a whim to give Gary a buzz. Haven't spoken to him in probably 2 1/2 yrs. I've tried a few times in that period of time to call, but I just get his voice mail. My cousin tried once and called 20 times before Gary answered. My guess is he just finally answered to get Tom to leave him alone.

Gary was 7 when I was born. I adored him until I was about 15 and he fell off the pedestal I put him on. Things were never quite the same; I became "the good sister" to his "alcoholic musician" brother. Marsha followed with her vices (mine's food, in case you don't know me!), and we all grew apart as years passed. He lives in Tampa, Fla. right now, and I'd like to see him - he's made a great deal of progress in his journey, and I wish we could recoup some of what we've lost. The last time I saw him was our mom's funeral, as I drove him to the bus station. He told me that he wished we were together more, that he thought we were more alike than before.

I'll let you know if he calls - it'll be great to hear from him.

Oh yeah - Happy Birthday, Margaret Young !

Wow - I woke up this morning having the weirdest of dreams. Erin and Dana were young, yet Erin was married to Gregg. Mama was still alive, we moved back to Brookshire (something that occurs in most of my weird dreams!), Dana and Erin and I were riding around town on a riding mower, having to sneak around to get gas every block, and we lived in a hovel. Two shacks basically hammered together classified as "shabby chic."

Where do these things comes from?!?! None of this was talked about or remembered or anything - it all came from the blue (A RIDING MOWER??) I guess it was the movie theatre hotdog and dill pickle that did me in.

Sorry, Gregg. Maybe next time it'll bode better for you, honey.

Till tomorrow.

Here we go again. Andy's name was put before our congregation this morning as a "candidate" to serve as an elder. Candidate is not the right word, but it's the best I can come with right now. He served until a few months ago, when we had a shake-up and all them men decided it was time to step aside for a while to let some things work through. During this time, we've had some time to consider if serving would be the right thing at this time. I say we, because his service affects me directly. I am one woman who likes the way God has set all this up; I get to watch my dear husband serve in a most honored place, and yet I don't really have all the stress he has to deal with. I'm excited about the list of men who are willing to serve, and I pray for a peaceful transition. These can be the best days of our congregation's history, and I hope these men fall in love with each other and serve many long and fruitful years. To God be the glory.

Sweet dreams!

Many, many years ago, my brother Gary drew a "Life line treadmill" cartoon that I would look at and wonder about how real it was. I think I'm finding out at this stage of my life.

A former co-worker sent out an email this week updating us on her husband's battle with lung cancer. Their kids are our girls' ages, and
we've had dealings with them since we moved here. She retired from teaching a few years ago, and I'd lost touch. Now that she is going through this trial, she is getting in touch with those of us who are still at the school. As I looked at the addresses, I realized that there are very few of us left on that campus who even know her. Our treadmill is rolling, and it's rolling fast. I'm behind only one or two on the longevity list, and now I feel like I want to turn around and run backwards; I"m not ready to be falling off the end!!

Now I know that retirement and dying are not the same, and I'm greatly looking forward to not working in the future, but when you think about the days gone by, and the opportunities missed, it's a sobering thought. I guess that's why God tells us not to worry about things we can't change; our days are too short and fast as it is without filling them up with things you can't do anything about. So if I haven't told you today that you are special to me and that I love you with my whole heart, here it is, along with a big hug.

Have a beautiful Saturday!

Tonight, Poteet and Pleasanton play football for the first time in many many years. It's brought back many really fun memories for me like: Cathy and me and the rest of the group riding the bus over (wow - 8 miles!) and chanting, "We want the bucket back!" over and over. It was an old oaken bucket that whoever won got to keep for the year until the next game. Well, Pleasanton would tromp us 65 - 0 or worse, and we're ride home so depressed; until the next year, when we'd do it all over again. I remember sitting on old, warped, wide wooden bleachers in COLD, yes cold, weather, under blankets drinking hot chocolate and not feeling our cheekbones for hours after the game. I remember thinking Pleasanton was this big city, and rarely venturing over to see what was there. Well, tonight it resumes. We'll see who comes home with the bucket.

Have you watched Jericho yet? It's about a small town in Kansas left to cope with the aftermath of a nuclear bomb in Denver and being shut off from the rest of the nation and the world. It's pretty thought provoking, actually; all the reliance we have on technology in so many forms. Even just the communication aspect of it is chilling - not knowing who is alive where....

I wonder how we would do it with out being able to just click on the tv or computer and be instantly in contact. What about bills - how would they get paid if all the computer records were fried in the blast! AH, a plus side to nuclear war!! :) Hey, it beats Dancing with the Stars!!

Several things on my mind tonight to share, but I think I'll go with the one most foremost in my thoughts.

I HATE to not be in control of some things. I don't want to rule the world, not even for a minute, but I do wish I had some impact in things that affect my life and my family's. I'm waiting right now for a decision to be made where I work that will directly impact not only me but the other 4 women in my room, the teachers that I work with and lots of kids. I've been given a chance to give my opinion of the situation, but now it is out of my hands. My daily routine could drastically change and I'd have no recourse. I would have to finish the year doing something that I really do not want to do, and more importantly, leave doing what I am enjoying. I am most anxious, to say the least.
I should know in a matter of days, so I'll ask you to pray with me as I wait. I'd like to stay where I am, as I am feeling successful and productive there. Please ask that I am able to remain where I am, and that if that is not to be, that I would accept God's will and be a good servant.
I appreciate your prayers on my behalf.

I am aging. I feel it today in my reflection on the retreat of the past weekend. Used to be, I'd be the "cheerleader" of the group, up in front and calling all the shots - the "hyper" one. This past weekend, I found myself sitting and watching as the others led in such marvelous ways. I loved watching young and old, member and visitor, and all other assorted women hugging, loving and laughing together, working to prepare meals, and sharing when someone's heart was needing care. It gave me great pleasure to know that, with one phone call, and entire weekend came together for God's glory and our energizing. My most heart-felt thanks to everyone who was there and played a part in the time away. I hope that we have many more to come, and that more and more women will come to enjoy what we had this weekend.

And Jackie, thanks for counting in the night.

Tomorrow, I leave for the Hill country for the weekend. Since I first went to church camp at age 14, the area has been a place of spiritual and emotional renewal for me. Many a time Andy has put me in the car for a "chill-out" drive in the Hills. Now, tomorrow, I get to go deep into the most beautiful part of the area with some of my best friends. I know a lot of good will come from our time there, yet I find myself a little apprehensive about the trip. Please pray that all will go well and we will come back uplifted and refreshed. I'll let you know all about it on Sunday!
Sweet dreams.

Tomorrow is payday; a big day for all, even if it's only going to go to the bank for paying bills. But tonight, I'd like to suspend reality and have a little fun.

If you could take one pay check and use it just for what you'd like, what would you do with it?

I'd take a trip with my husband, and spend what was left on "foo-foo."

Why is it that when you ask someone a question, they say, "You don't really want me to answer that, do you?" Now, my pet peeve is stupid questions that answer themselves, and this would have to be one at the top of the list. If I ask a specific person a specific question, wouldn't they assume that I did, in fact, want an answer? I don't just ask random questions to hear myself talk; I talk for a living, so hearing my own voice is not a thrill. I choose people whose opinion I value, and then I ask them wanting their input or advice. If something is that heavy on my heart that I stop you and ask you for something, please give it to me. Full of love but with both barrels. I'm a grown woman, and I can handle the truth, or at least your take on it. If I haven't asked you yet, be patient; your turn will come!

Sweet dreams -

This is Red Ribbon Week - one dreaded by most public school teachers in Texas, yet one of the few where we get to actually put aside the rigors of the school year and have some fun, creative time with the kids.
Today was "Team us against drugs" at my campus. We were encouraged to wear our favorite teams' jerseys and show how sports and teamwork can keep us away from drugs. (I could comment here, but won't)
There were a few various jerseys, yes, Dana - even a Texas State jersey! - but by far, the favs were the SPURS, TU, and A&M. All day, you could see adults and kids alike "arguing" over whom was the better jersey, the orange or the maroon. Even at the ripe old age of 9, opinions ran strong. What a hoot!
Tomorrow - the big downtown rally and march!!