Random observations of late...

I've been quite emotional lately; Auny Mary dying, Liz growing healthy and strong, Bekah leaving for India, dealing with my own demons, and so on. I've not been weepy like this since before my hysterectomy, and I really am caught off guard. I requested a song the other night in Houston and could hardly sing it because I became so emotional over the words!! I'm eager for this stage to pass....

Andy is out working in the yard as I write this post. He took a day off yesterday to relax after our "Tour de Texas." We actually drove by the cut-off to Crawford, but somehow didn't make it to the house itself. I hear the Secret Service frowns on people dropping in.

Last night was our turn to host the Summer Youth Series. The speaker was really good - I hope to hear him again sometime. Afterwards, I got to visit with Joy, Betty and Bob, and sweet Jackie Jenkins. I miss her and that stinky husband of hers. I miss them a lot -

One month today, I go back to work. To most people, a month off would be wonderful, and I am dreading that I "only" have one month left. Teachers ARE spoiled in that respect. I just hope it doesn't fly by.

One of the nicest parts of going to Aunt Mary's funeral was having all that time with Erin. You can do a LOT of talking covering that many miles, and I never grew tired of enjoying watching what an amazing woman she is. Liz is going to be a lucky little girl to have her as a mom.

Please take care of yourselves. I love you -

Deeann, Randall, John, Elaine, James, Roland, Tom, David, Crystal, Beth,Mark, and so on....

Back at Erin's. I feel like the commercial that sings, "I've been everywhere, man, I've been everywhere." My back is sore from all the different beds and sitting in the car for two days, but I wouldn't change a minute of the past 3 days.

I am at my best after I've been with my cousins. I really feel like that - that my life and focus are renewed and I have been bathed in honest, faithful love. I could stay days and days in their presence, and never tire. Even on such a "sad" occasion, it was great. Saw cousins I haven't seen in DECADES; so good to hug their necks.

I'm a little too emotional and tired right now to tell about the funeral, but I will tell one funny spot. Aunt Mary had 5 living children, and they always wanted to know which one was the favorite. So, they made her a shirt that says, "I love _____ best." It goes down the shirt in list form, with each child's name in the blank. Each child has their own color of ink. Then, they each have their own shirt that reads, " Mom loves me best!" Those were laid out at the funeral home and then reference was made to them at the service. Everyone had a good laugh, and it was a testimony to their bond.

It was great to have Erin and Liz with us... it's up to us now to keep the kids in touch. The May girls are all gone, and it's our turn to pass their legacy on. I hope I'm up to the task.

Paradise Valley and more!!

Yesterday, we drove over to Houston to pick up Erin for the trip to the funeral. Usually, their congregation does not meet on Sunday evenings, but last night, they did, so we met them there. They were having a "Singing" - and we got there just as the first song was going.
Their congregation is huge - almost 1,000 members, but last night we met in the chapel. It holds 200, and we sang and sang, and sang some more. New songs, old songs, fast and slow songs. They gave us a chance for requests, so I loudly yelled out "185" and got a lot of laughter... poor Erin. Her mother!! Anyway, my song was the prettiest one we sang - "Jesus, Thy Name I Love." Can't get through it without tearing up. Amazing. Lots of good voices and energy. Good old, 4 part harmony. We even learned a new "round" that made me wish for Jackie.

So, today we head north for visitation, then the funeral is tomorrow afternoon. Erin has to work on Wed., so we will come right back. I'm so glad she is going, but I know all the riding may be hard on her. I promised Gregg I'd take good care of her - and Elizabeth.

Please keep us in your prayers as we travel.

A win-win situation

"Brothers, I do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep,or to grieve like the rest of men who have no hope. We believe the Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him."
1 Thes. 4: 12-14 NIV

If there is a smoking room in Heaven, that is where Aunt Mary is right now, with her beloved sisters and brother, husband, children and parents. They are having the reunion that each one, in their own time, took solace in when facing death. They are lighting up one after another, and the coffee will not stop brewing. They are laughing and loving on each other now just as they did in life. And they are finally together again.
Lenora, Roland, Joyce, Myrna, Margaret, and now, Mary Alice. Uncle Billie, Sandra, Ralph, and Bobby Wayne. Cousin Glenda. My mamaw and papaw. My, what a party they have going on!

My little lamb

Been having trouble falling asleep the past couple of nights. Guess the waiting and worrying over Aunt Mary has played a number on my rest. We are just waiting now; she has a staph infection that has gone to her heart, and at 87 years old, that's about unbeatable. She's strong though - her daughter tells me it took 6 people to hold her down to put in the iv. My aunt is all of 5 feet and 80 pounds, but I hear she's fighting it.
Anyway, last night, I was tossing and turning, singing hymns in my head and not getting anywhere. Finally, one thought calmed me down and let me relax. Elizabeth. I visualized her smiling face and sweet smell, over and over, and soon, I was asleep.

Nice.

What a bunch of dames!!

My mom had 4 sisters. They were called "The May Girls" and were quite the bombshells in the days of WWII. I've seen flirty pictures of them in their swimsuits sitting on soldiers laps that no young, awkward teenage girl should have to see!! They married handsome men and loved each other very, very much.

All of them are gone now, except my Aunt Mary. I got word this morning through the magic of email that she is in ICU in severe pain and bad shape. Doesn't look good. Pray hard, her daughter said.

Aunt Mary married my Uncle Billie and lost her first two children before I was born. They went on and had 5 more kids, the dear cousins I've written about before. Deeann is like my sister in many ways, and when the third sister died, she said to me, "No offense, Amy, but I hope my mom is not the last to go."
Well, she is, and has amazed us all by her health and stamina. Until about the last year, she was putting on her own roof and mowing her yard with a push-mower. She is "Granny" to everyone in her little town, and still took tickets at the basketball games last winter. She is 84.

She never quit - no matter what life handed her. No matter how hard it was to raise all those kids, to bury her husband when so young and never remarry. To bury two little children. To lose all those sisters (and their crazy brother Roland) and her mother and father. Now last year, she lost her son. She never quit.

So, I'd appreciate whatever prayers you would lift up on her behalf. Not so much for her - she's probably ready to leave this world and join those she loves, but for her 4 remaining children, grandkids, great-grandkids, and a niece and nephew or two.

I love dogs. If we had a fence, Andy and I would be at serious war over whether or not to get one... I haven't had one since I was a teenager, but it's not for lack of desire. As awesome as Smudge was, he WAS a cat, and it's not the same. Very rarely do I come across a dog I don't like; such was the case with Bo. He was my sister-in-law's dog, and I disliked him from the first time I saw him. Just never bonded at all those family gatherings. Now, today we get an email saying they had to put him down.

Having had to do that twice in just a few years, I know the anguish of the decision and the loneliness of after the fact. I've never known more surely in my life that putting Smudge down was "for his own good" and eased his suffering - the look in his eyes those last couple of days said more to me than any words could, but it doesn't ease YOUR sadness or loneliness for them.

So, today, as the Fritsche's cope with losing Bo, I'm right there with them. He was part of their family for a long time, and I know their hurt will take a while. Rest in peace, Bo. I hope there's cake for you to eat in dog heaven.

Let the Planning Begin!

Just ask my family - my favorite part of taking a trip is the planning.
When the girls were little and money was quite tight, the planning was essential to make it the best trip for the least amount spent. Now, sweetly, the cash isn't nearly so sparse, and there ARE just two of us going, but I still find the planning to be great fun.

Frankly, due to gas prices, we are not heading to the mountains this summer - as much as we love them. The challenge therefore was to find a place to go that we hadn't done before and wouldn't require a second mortgage. After scanning our great state all over, we decided on the very tip of Texas; the Valley. I've never been there, and we found a great resort on South Padre that offers all sorts of cool stuff.
So, in two weeks, hurricanes allowing, we are heading south to the Valley. Then, I will be able to say I've been to every part of this amazingly diverse state. Sounds like a fun time for all!!

My Previous Life

Growing up, there was a lot of music in my home. Gary and I would put on music and waltz throughout the house, Daddy sang and whistled, and Mama would play the Everly Brothers and the Platters. But best of all were the John Phillip Sousa marches. We would play them on the record player (a big box that had a turntable and arm that held big, black vinyl circles with grooves cut in them, in case you didn't know.), and we would march like soldiers while humming along. It was magical.

I don't believe in reincarnation, but if I did, it would have to be that I was either John Philip or his wife. I can still pretty much "name that tune" on very few introductory notes, and it sets my heart to skipping. Just the energy and power of those chords and harmonies fill me with excitement.
And this weekend, among no other, will be filled with Washington Post, Stars and Stripes Forever, and so on. It is my yearly fix. We actually had an original recording of his band on one of mom's 78 records (those vinyl discs used to come in several speeds.), but it has been lost. I would have loved to have had it.

So, when you hear Stars and Stripes Forever this weekend, think of me!! I'll be somewhere, marching and humming!

Once a mom, always a mom

I get it, mom. All those years of sighing and rolling my eyes when I saw your name on the caller I.D. - I get it now. Erin will get it soon - once a mom, you are ALWAYS a mom.

As soon as they put Dana in my arms the first time, I was her #1 fan for all time. And even though she is a "grown woman," I still worry and pray and dwell on what she is doing each and every day. We had a wonderful visit this past weekend, and I look at her with eyes full of love and pride and admiration, and try to remember that she is not 8 years old. She is competent and independent and very - well, normal. All that rearing that she got has paid off, along with a lot of blessings from people around her. And yet, as she drove off, I worried. Too many news reports and scary novels not to. I'm so glad that God hasn't gotten tired of my asking Him to watch over her in her life; but it's that mom-thing. And I'm glad she is patient with me.

Get ready, Erin. Elizabeth will make you understand like you never would imagine.

Good vs. Evil

Today, I caught the end of the movie "Ever After." It stars Drew Barrymore as Cinderella, and it's one of my favorites. The humor is right up my alley, and the wicked are truly evil. A great flick.
Toward the end of the movie, Cinderella asks her evil step-mother if there was ever a time when she loved her. The woman's response is, "How can a person ever love a pebble in her shoe?", which crushes Cinderella to the core.
It made me think of my mother-in-law. She married Andy's dad shortly after Andy's mother died when he was not yet 5 and his brother 2 years old. She moved into her home, ate off her dishes, and sat on her furniture. She worked to pay of the hospital debt left without a complaint and, without going into too personal information, dealt with relatives on all sides who were non too happy with the marriage.
And she raised Andy and Bruce as her own. The term "step" never was uttered in the house, and the family grew to include two more children. Now, I imagine there were days when being Andy's mother was not fun - after all, his mommy had just died and he had a lot of adjusting to do. And yet, he was her son. She gave up her homeland to become an American in case the boys ever had to go to war and had to fight. She gave up many other things as well, and never complained.
I don't tell her often enough how much I honor her and love her; outside my own grandmother, she is probably one of my earthly heroes. She is 83 now, and she and my father-in-law have had a happy marriage. Just like Cinderella and her prince, they have lived "happily ever after." And they deserve it .

Post # 350 !!

Wow. 350 times I've had something I thought were worth sharing. One day, I'll go back and read them all. Maybe...
The other day, I went to Blockbuster and came home with 10 movies. Haven't rented any all summer, so this is the week to catch up. Yesterday, I watched "The Other Bolyn Girl" with Natalie Portland and Scarlett Johanson. I enjoyed the scenery and the costumes were gorgeous, I think it was the best acting I've seen from Natalie P., but I came away from the story really sad at the mess those people made of their lives because of ambition. It reminded me of the ambitious Father Ralph from the Thorn Birds - how his whole life came to ruin because of his ambition in the Catholic church.
I got to thinking that ambition is one of those character traits that can be either really beneficial or detrimental. How far does someone's ambition go to cause them to ruin either their own lives or the lives of others around them? If you are ambitious, people look up to you as hard-working and confident - unlike unambitious folks who just go-with-the-flow and live life as it comes to them. I think I'll choose to live somewhere in the middle. I don't want to lose my head over it!!

Well, here goes....

I wrote a long, very personal post today and then dumped it. Surfice it to say, it was very therapeutic in nature, and opened my own eyes to some things I do not want to face. I wish I would have had the guts to publish it, but hopefully it served its purpose just seeing it myself. Why is it so very hard to face one's demons?

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice....

Never again will I call her an "it." That's right; Erin and Gregg are having a daughter!! Something inside told me that she was a "he"- but I cannot tell you how very right this feels at this moment. Here are some things I'm pondering at this time:

I am on the search for the perfect rocking chair. It has to be comfy for long stretches of rocking = a good, roomy seat. It cannot scoot across the floor, cannot squeak or moan (no comments here!), and have "adjustable" speeds - quick for fussy, restless baby girls and a slow, quiet speed for a sleeping baby and contented Nana. Any suggestions?

Erin has the most beautiful hair, but I'm thinking this baby needs Gregg's curls. Are blonds ever curly-headed? I don't recall seeing many blonds with natural curls. Hmmm....

My mom would be so happy to know her name. It seems funny now to say it since she's not born yet, but I think I'll adapt. It's a lovely, elegant name honoring women very close to Erin's heart. She will have a lot to live up to... yet there's plenty of room for her own wondrous personality.

Oh, dear. I really sound like a Nana now!!! After I see it in print on Erin's blog, I'll fill you in, but I don't think it's my place to go first. I'm trying very hard to do things the right way here.
Don't want to mess up the visitation priviledges before she's ever here!!

One last thing; she's a big one - all of 12 ounces!!

Hurry up! - Slow down! -

Sunday, for a treat, Andy took me into SA for lunch following morning worship. We rarely eat out, and NEVER drive into town just to eat, so it made me a happy girl. On the way, we got behind some folks who were not in a hurry and we were on a double yellow stripe, so we had to wait until we were able to pass. It didn't hold us up that much, but just the idea of not going 70 was frustrating. I mean, our lunches were there for the picking, and we were behind some old country bumpkins!
Soon enough, we were there enjoying our dinner, not thinking again about the holdup. Later, that night, our minister was talking from the pulpit about how he and his wife had stood just below where he was to be married years before. As he talked about it, his faced transformed into one of wistfullness; of a man whose life has gone by much faster than he'd ever dreamed it would - in fact, he made that statement almost word for word. The moment took him back to his younged life, and you could feel the wistfullness just looking at him. I thought about that morning, how I'd been in such a goofy rush to get somewhere that meant nothing to my life; to not be "too late" having lunch. How foolish....
Now, today I think of my coming granddaughter, Liz. When I look at the ticker on the blog, those days to come seem very far off, and yet I know she will be here before I know it. There is a Star Trek movie we watched the other day where the people on the planet can slow time down, to "hold on" to a moment to fully enjoy it. I hope I figure out how to do that before she is born.
Time. God is so lucky not to be bound by it. I guess we will enjoy that in Heaven.

A little preview

Well, Andy has been at home this week; a little taste of retirement to come. It's been a productive week so far; the list of things to do has been shortened by several items, but there's still lots to do. Hopefully, his next week off will be more recreational !!
We've been very relaxed in our labors - do a little, stop and visit; do some more; eat lunch... you get the drill. Our yard looks great thanks to his efforts, and the cars are all taken care of. Now, I'll be happy to get the bathroom painted in the next couple of days. It's been nice to have him home, and to see how the 24/7 life of retirement will be.

I'm just glad we like to be together after all these years!!

A Day Late

While yesterday was Father's Day, I want to take my time today to reflect on the many wonderful men who have had an influence on my life. I know as soon as I sign off, however, that one or two will pop into my mind, but for now, here goes:



1. My dad. Graves Calvin Young. Mechanic extrordinaire, singer and whistler, loud laugher and champion yard/gardener. I hear him in my head as we speak, and I miss him so very much. Not a man of "words of affirmation" but you knew he loved you and wanted to be with you. He loved his grandchildren even more than the three of us.



2. My father-in-law. Frank LaMore. Has always been kind and helpful. Raised some great kids, especially my husband.



3. Jon Rhodes. College professor/ mentor/ "college dad." He

made a big impact in my life and then broke my heart by divorcing "mama Rhodes." But life goes on, doesn't it?



4. Jon Kelley. Every son should have a father like Jon. Patrick was at his side every step of the way growing up; and he was shown every example of how to serve the Lord's people.



5. Jim Lassiter. Our other college dad. Strong, fun, faithful.



6. Lin Johnson. Gregg's dad. See # 4 An amazing pair of men, who bless my life everyday. My grandchildren are blessed to have them in their lives.



7. Robert Hutton. He is everybody's dad. Watching Jarred as a father is testimony to his influence.



And I have to mention Andrew. I knew he came from a strong family full of high standards, but never dreamed he would be the man he is. His daughters have always been his focus, and our lives are stronger because he is our leader.



So, a late "Happy Father's Day" to all the guys above. Thanks for being part of my life, past, present and future. I hope you know how very much I love you all.

Trust

When the girls were young, we'd talk to them about trust and what all that entailed. We would model that for them by following up on promises and keeping confidences. We made sure that they understood that, once trust was broken, it took a long, long time to build back and relationships were damaged by losing trust in someone. Throughout our marriage, that trust has stayed strong in each other.
This year, in both our jobs, we've lost trust in co-workers. People we felt secure in our professional relationships with have done and said things that have made us wonder if we should have trusted in the first place, and have caused us to change the way we felt about our roles in our jobs. It is a horrible feeling, and for both of us to go through that in the same year has been devistating. It certainly takes away the joy of working with others, and the good we felt we accomplished.
Sure makes retirement look good....

I'm not in High School anymore....

Today, I started a 3 day training in San Antonio with a couple of co-teachers. We left bright and early to be on time, then talked our way past the street and ended up rushing anyway. (Tomorrow will go better !) Anyway, it was a quick day, an hour lunch and out by 3:00. Today was just the overview of the program, so I didn't get a lot of new information, but that's okay. Sometimes, just being around other teachers is enough to invigorate you and get you ready for the coming year.



I learned, however, that "one size doesn't fit all." We are at a High School, sitting in those lovely, hard student desks. Now, I know those big football player boys fit in them, and I fit in them, but by 2:00, I was ready to stand up the rest of the day. And we have two more days. I'm going to have to drag a chair from the teacher workroom and make myself more comfortable, or it's going to be painful. Bad thing is, we are sitting at the back of the classroom, so I'll have to lift it up over the others and make a spectacle of myself. My choices appear to be anonymity or comfort - tomorrow will tell.

A Retraction of Yesterday

I feel like I need to apologize for the mood of my last post. I guess I am still getting over the last year of school- hands down one of my worst. Both my girls called to "tease" me about sounding so in-your-face; I really was just venting. Sometimes things just add up and explode. Those of you who know me know that I'm not usually like that. So, if I came across as moody or angry, I apologize.

Tomorrow we head to the great city of Houston. I say that tongue in cheek, because except for my family there, I'd never go back. They are the only draw for me, and so I'm trying to develope a better attitude about the city as a whole. Hmmm, another new attitude... is this a pattern?
Anyway, we will be there for the quick weekend, and then back home. Week one of summer will be over.

Enjoy your Friday!