Thanks, God.

Today, I am once again reminded how glad I am that God knows so much better than I what is good for me.
My mom did not like little girls. She liked boys. She did like all the trappings of having a daughter and did not feel it necessary to teach me many of the things mothers are "supposed" to teacher their daughters to prepare them for life.
She liked to sew for me, and buy me dolls, but the parts of my life that needed a "woman's touch" were largely left undone. I resented that and held it against her for years, and in my early married life, prayed that God would give me sons; surely I would not know what to do with a girl after hearing all my life how below we were to boys.
All the time I was pregnant with Dana, I prayed for a boy. I was truly scared that I would ruin a girl, and that she would grow to feel toward me the same way I felt toward my own mother. Then, Dana was here. Now what?!?
I decided to model my mothering based on my peers and the other older women at church that I felt had good relationships with their daughters. We did fine, and then I was pregnant again. Surely now, a boy, but I was less scared, with 2 whole years of experience behind me. Enter Erin.

Almost 28 years later, today I know that history does not have to repeat itself. I have two amazing young women who make my heart burst with laughter and joy. They proved my lack of confidence wrong, that I COULD raise them to be wonderful, God-loving women with quick wits and the ability to be independent when they need to be. There sits before me proof that God took my insecurities and used His power to show me that I had what it would take. I'm glad it was one day at a time, or surely I would have given up, but in the end, it is all together wonderful.
I'm sure glad God didn't answer those prayers.