Ireland, revisited

Not the country. A family name that sent cold chills down my spine earlier in the school year. A second generation I've been dreading....

The worst year of my career was 1990-91. It was my second year in Pleasanton, and I was sent to work at the Jr. High with emotionally disturbed kids. (Most kids in Jr. High ARE emotionally disturbed anyway, but this group was certified!) One of the boys' last name was Ireland. Throughout the year, he gave me grief and drove me to want to quit almost every day. I gave up on him, and I've thought of him several times over the years, wondering....

When school started, I got not one of his sons, but 3. Yep. 3 little stair-steps. I almost cried with visions of that year running amok in my brain. One is a 1st grader at Primary, the other 2 are 3rd graders. (One failed) So. how is it going 4 weeks into the year?

I have to confess that I truly LIKE these boys. They must have their mother's temperment, except for the middle one. He is just like I remember his father, except he isn't evil. It's like I'm seeing him in a time-warp; before the bad stuff that warped him got ahold of his soul. He wants SO badly to please me, to do well, not to embarrass himself. I've made a pact to him and to myself, that this year, he will read. Maybe never grade-level, but he will function if I have any say in the matter. Then, he won't have to act silly or be a bully to divert his lack of skills from his peers. I'm not going to quit on this little man, because I want redemption for the lack of effort I put in to understanding and caring for his father. This is a second chance for me, and I will give it my all.

And in seeing my care for him, the others will learn to care as well.

What is it with me lately?!?

I don't get it... I am usually not a crier. Life has taught me that tears don't change anything or fix it, and for a while, nothing made me cry. My head was logical and my heart was hardened. Not even the monthly hormone rage made we weepy.

Now, I cry. Happy, sad, disappointed, patriotic, memories, dreams, you name it. I read a story - I cry. I talk about Liz - I cry. I look in the mirror, and I cry. I think of things I've dreamed that didn't come to fruition - I weep. Yesterday, I sat in my car and cried a while. Just me and Rush Limbaugh. The tears flowed and then I had to act like I had allergies when the kids came.

I don't think I'm depressed... I think I'm 53 and things hit you differently then. Your husband doesn't "get it," and you worry the kids if they find you crying for no reason, so you hold it in until you are all alone, and just cry. It's the one thing you can do when there are no other options to alleviate the situation, and you feel better afterward.

So, while I don't understand what's going on, I'll just go with it and maybe it'll pass soon.

I really, really hope so.

A Time to Work, a Time to Rest

I know that this is not part of Eccesiastes (sp) per se, but it sure fit the LaMores this past weekend. I've discovered that as we age, there is just time when the body needs to rest - not so much from physical labor, but just to give the soul a break. As we neared sleep last night, Andy talked about how much he'd slept over the weekend, and for him, it was a lot. I could tell by his tone of voice that it bothered him, but I assurred him that it was alright every now and then. I think his mind is overwhelmed with work, church, kids, me, life in general. The body just has enough to go on for so long. Add the stress of not knowing what it was Ike wanted to do, and that was it.

I hope you and yours all survived the storm - or lack of, here - and are back into your routine. I know I'm grateful for cell-phones!!

This, too, has passed

After days and days of speculation, planning, buying and praying, Ike has come and gone. Here in our little town, south of San Antonio, we got nothing. Nada, nyet. A little breeze this morning, but nary a drop of rain.

Erin, Gregg and Dana rode out the storm at the Johnson home, and lost power for about 6 hours. None of them know their work status as of this post. But they are safe, don't face the awful task of driving back into Houston with the tens of thousands here in SA, and have a great story to tell Liz sometime in the future.

Praise God for looking over my Houston family and all those who were protected by His loving arms.

A nice surprise

Today, as I was leaving Primary, I went to turn some papers in to be copied for next week. As I walked down the hall, a bulletin board stopped me. It had pictures and info on the new staff at the campus, so I stopped to read. One of the new faces is a Ms. Joiner, who grew up in Abilene. When asked her favorite sport, she wrote, "Go Wildcats!" Now, if I remember right, that's ACU's mascot - so maybe we have a new sister in our midst!!

Her room "just happens" to be right next door to where I work, so I'll be stopping in to visit with her on Monday. Pray she is just waiting for someone to invite her to worship!!

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing....

ever try to keep 6 to 9 year olds on task when the storm of the century is coming to Pleasanton? It is beyond even the most capable teacher's abilities. When is it coming? Will my house blow down? Could I drown? What will happen to our school, and so on and so on.

Sad thing is, those same questions are running through my mind!

You can almost FEEL him outside already; the sky looks stormy, the trees sway in that ominous way, and people are in a rush, even in our little town. I have things to do to prepare for the arrival, and know that everyone here is also going to be at the store. Football games have been moved, and we dismiss early tomorrow.

All this worry and preparation for something that may not even happen!! Gregg and Erin had to cancel their trip home thanks to this storm, so it better be a doozy!!

so much for cuddling!

Lots of times, I go to bed and fall asleep before Andy turns in. I don't like it, but I need more sleep than he does, and I honestly think he likes the solitude after I am asleep. However, on Monday night, he announced as he left for visitation that Tuesday night, we would turn in early and cuddle. (I never said he was spontaneous!) Anyway, last night, we were watching Frazier on cd, laughing our heads off, and the episode ends. He grabs the remote, puts up the cd, and shuts down the living room. We are going to cuddle! I go in, get ready for bed, and - you guessed it - fell dead asleep. The last thing I remember is him turning on the shower.

I felt SO bad this morning - the man was being just what I wanted him to be, and I botched it up. So, during breakfast, I apologize. "For what?" he asks. For not being awake to cuddle, I reply. He grins and says, "We cuddled for 30 minutes! You snored, and I cuddled."

32 years of marriage. I'm so glad he still loves me!!

Yet another storm

Ike. Another hurricane aiming at spoiling my plans... Erin and Gregg and Roarke are planning to come over for the weekend; Erin's last one out before Liz arrives. Now, we watch the spaghetti models to see what Ike has in store. Erin tells me they're still planning to come, and so Ike just better behave himself!! A pregnant woman has her mind made up and it will take more than a category hurricane to stop her!!

When I was little, my grandparents lived in Alice, Texas. During the 60s, there were several devastating hurricanes; Carla, Camille, and more who came in at Corpus. My grandparents' home was made of very thick concrete, and sat right on Hwy. 281 heading north. My grandparents would put a sign on the road, offering safe harbor to ride out the fury. Strangers by the carfull would find food and pallets laid side by side in the huge "front room." They stayed as long as was necessary, and were given what they needed.

It set a powerful example for me to see. Real-life Good Samaritans at work.

A realization in HEB

Yesterday, I faced HEB. I'd put it off as long as I could, even sending Dana last weekend, but now the time had come. No yogurt, milk, butter, eggs - well, you see why.

I don't shop with a list; I go down the same aisles in the same order, and the stuff I use hops in as I pass. Not really, I wouldn't dread it as much that way. But, anyway, as I scanned the rows and rows of items, it dawned on me that I was looking for cold-weather foods; chili, Taco soup, stew. Jambalya crossed my palate as I neared the sausage. That's it! My taste buds are tired of the same, hot-weather foods we've been eating since March! It's time for the good stuff, that warms you down to your toes.

Lucky for me, when Liz comes, and I go to stay a while, I can have all that good stuff ready for Gregg when he comes home after work. Assuming the Houston area knows it's winter by then!!

MMMMmmmm - can't wait!!

And, they're off !!

My morning started watching a scene unfold that happens all too often these days in Elementary schools.
The teacher I share a room with is the Resource/Behavior teacher. She wears a radio so they can call her to come running when a child has a "crisis." Today, it was a 1st grader I'll call "John". He'd already been brought to the room for a "time out" and left seemingly under control. Things are not always as they seem.

About 9:15, I went out to pick up my first group of 2nd graders, and heard footsteps running toward me. It was John, and he was running. I stood there, because these days, you don't go after a kid unless you are specifically trained on the physicality of the moment. As I stood there, the teacher I am with and the principal chased John round and round for several minutes. He was an adrenalin filled 8 year old and they were grown women in work shoes. He clearly had the advantage and new his path well. After watching several laps and near-misses, John found himself cornered, and collapsed into a heap at the feet of the teacher. She and the principal put him in "transport" mode and took him to seclusion, where they called his mother. She came up, said all the right things, and went home. My co-worker says it will last for about a week, and then, they'll do it again.
There used to be one child like John in a district. Then, one per campus... later, one per grade level. Now, it's almost one "runner" in each class.

Please. Finger print me. Put my scores in the newspaper. Take away my laminating budget for the year. Give me a child or two like John.

Teachers don't ask for much. We just would like to teach and be left alone.

There, but by the Grace of God, go I....

This weekend, with all the news of Sarah Palin and her pregnant daughter and other thought-provoking things, I have been thinking about my life. I have two daughters, and by grace, as well as good choices on their part, we were not faced with the situation she finds herself in. It does not always matter how hard we try to raise them, sometimes things just don't go the way we plan. I know that anyone can find themselves in settings or circumstances where things go tragically wrong, and life is changed. We have several friends whose kids made poor choices, either with sex or drugs or stupid driving or a multitude of things, and the outcomes were tragic. When we forget how close we ourselves come to the fire on occasion, we set ourselves up for heartbreak or disapointment. Then, God steps in, and spares us from ourselves. I've learned many lesson from hindsight, and I hope that life continues to work itself out as it has in my life and in the lives of my husband and children. I also hope I am spared from looking down my nose at those who find themselves needing God's grace.

A tiny, tiny world

Last night, we had our last speaker of the Summer Series. He talked a lot about the Church; how tied together we are all over the world. It's one thing my mom always told me, "go into any town, and if you find the Church, you'll have family." I love seeing "The Church of Christ welcomes you" signs as you pull into a town; it gives you a commonality right away.

Anyway, last night, he talked about how, usually, if you meet someone in the church and talk with them very long, you find that you have a person in common... kind of a "6 degrees of seperation" on a Heavenly basis. One person we knew in Katy, Mac Brockman, new EVERYONE. Looking back at him, he was a kind of Gregg - friendly, outgoing, welcoming. Never knew a stranger, and with the capacity to make you feel so important in no time.

I'm so grateful to have so many connections to the church - just think of all the folks we'll know in Heaven!!

Now, we begin

After all the hoopla, the first day of school has come and gone... all the work, meetings, papers to fill out, schedules to figure. Done. The kids are all here with their new supplies (which will be gone in a week/two!), fresh haircuts, and new shoes. Their backpacks weigh as much as they do, and the look of anticipation is on their faces.

For the first time in two decades, I was not on campus when the first kids arrived. I was working at the Annex, my new "home" and felt strangely out of place. No one to guide to their new teacher, no parents bustling to work with the kids safely in place. My job has changed, and it feels odd. I float from campus to campus not really belonging to either -

I just hope my paycheck finds me today!!

My roomie - Patti

Teachers by nature are territorial; our rooms are our havens - our desks, our private sanctums. We can close the doors and rule the world from our own little area. It just comes with the job.

For 4 years now, I've shared my room with Patti. I was apprehensive, to say the least, just because - well, it's sharing. But I have to say, as we start this new year, it's been one of the things that have kept me laughing and sane when I thought nothing could.

Patti is one of the few remaining teachers that have been here longer than me. We happen to worship together, but never really became "close". I don't know that either of us would call each other "best friend", but I know I rely on her a lot. She has a good perspective on what's important to making kids successful and feeling good about themselves without all the doting and games a lot of teachers play these days. And she's a true warrior for the kids' she teaches. She's tough, but kind. She also has the talent to make adults chill out when things get goofy, and I appreciate that. She sees beyond "the test."

There are good things that I do for her as well. We make a good team. We both feel a little odd about this new schedule of mine, but we'll get through it together.
We confide in each other about family and work, and I value her opinion about things. I hope she does mine.

So, Patti, here's to another year. I'll stay if you will!!

From Monday

Every year, our Superintendent gets us a motivational speaker. Last year's was amazing, and I was apprehensive about topping him this year. Well, our speaker was very talented, and kept us entertained not only with her topic, but also with her singing. She is the younger sister to Larry Gatlin, and shares his vocal talent. Along with her inspirational tidbits, she shared the following. I'll let you take what you will from it....

(Based on the musical scales)

DO - Do the right thing. Always
RE - Realize your potential by helping others reach theirs
MI - Mind your manners - manners count
FA - Fears can be turned around
SO - Solutions begin with me
LA - laugh !
TI - Time is valuable
DO - do it all again!

Off with a bang!

Well, the school year has begun, and I'll have to say, it's quite different. Monday's breakfast was the beginning - for the first time since 1981, I did not sit with the Elementary Campus for the meeting. Instead, I sat with my new co-workers. There are 3 dyslexia teachers and our supervisor, so we are an intimate little group.

For the beginning of the day, I will work with 1st and 2nd graders. Dana tells me I will love them, but right now, I feel anxious. I'm not quite the same temperment as Primary teachers, and I fear I will scare the little guys. I do mean guys, too. Our of a dozen, one is a girl. Moving on...

After I finish there, I will journey back to the Elementary and have my conference and lunch. Following that, it'll be 4 back - to - back classes. Now, I teach the same curriculum to them all, so by the 6th session of the day, I may be on rote recall. Hopefully, the day will go fast, and we will do just fine. I do have one group that is ahead of the others, so that will give me a bit of a break. I hope.

So, these early days of the 08-09 year are a little confusing and this old dog is learning to adjust to the new tricks given me, but I think I will end up liking it. I'll miss having a "home campus" but I like what I don't have - duty, meetings, etc - more.

And the best part - I have 2 1/2 years to go!

Silver vs. Gold

Last night, we stopped our Care Group discussion to watch Michael Phelps swim for Gold #7. It wasn't a deep, religious discussion or anything, but everyone was watching to clock so we wouldn't miss the race.



When he squeaked by his next competitor, winning by .01 seconds, we all yelled and slumped back into our seats. Then, we heard that the team for the silver medal was posting a protest saying he'd won over Michael. (Silly people!) Anyway, even as the protest was going on, they had the medal ceremony.

As I watched the ceremony, something odd stuck me; usually, if an athlete thinks they have been "cheated" out of gold, they are more that dour on the podium while receiving a silver medal. Not this man - his pride and excitement over winning a silver medal at the Olympic Games shone brightly on his face, and he was truly happy. Would he have been happier with Gold? More than likely. But he had just come within .01 of being the greatest Olympian ever. That's a lot to smile about in any game.
To me, that was the face of the Olympics I'll think of when it's all over. Giving it your very best, and knowing you have been among others just as talented or better. Being at peace with what you've done. And loving it.

Where to start...

The weekend in Dallas was wonderful, if for no other reason, I was reminded how much my son-in-law is loved. That translates into Erin being greatly loved as well, and that makes every mother happy. You hear horror stories about girls marrying into families that resent or dislike them, but I can honestly say, those people in Dallas love Erin. But I'll get back to that later...

On Saturday evening, we ate at III Forks Restaurant. There were 11 of us, and we were in a room to ourselves for the majority of the meal. Our waiter was a pro; his life's work was to serve people and help them to enjoy their evening out. Our one fault was that we were all tee-totalers, and so his "sales" suffered because of that, but I think he enjoyed us as much as we did him. If not, he's up for an Oscar for his acting.
This place was, for me, out of a movie in and of itself. The walls were covered with autographed celebrities who have eaten there, and that was fun to look at while we waited for our table. Then, came the food. Amazing; the best salad I have ever put in my mouth, and the corn was the next best. Corn. But not just corn. My mouth is watering just thinking of it. The beef tenderloin was good, but I'll stick with Saltgrass on that....
For desert, the best strawberry shortcake I've ever had.

Erin's shower the next day was something else. I think my gift to Gregg of a baby SPURS suit was the highlight of the day, but perhaps not... all the Dallas folks thought it was pretty funny!! Anyway, they were truly "showered" with everything you can imagine, the car barely had room for them to go back to Houston, but they made it just fine. All the men were there in the Johnson/LaMore family, so that was fun as well. It was amazing to see the turnout and the true affection the ladies feel for Gregg and his parents. Liz is a truly blessed little girl.
And to think, we get to do it again in Houston in a month!!

Greetings from Big D !

Well, we made it to Dallas and Gregg's family home for the upcoming shower tomorrow. Can't wait for Gregg to open "his" gift; I looked high and low for it.
We are going to Restaurant Week tonight, that will be a blog in and of itself; I hope I can relax and enjoy...

Better go visit!

10 Things I hope for Liz

Here, in no particular order, are 10 things I hope for Elizabeth Marin' Johnson:

1. That she will see faces and animals in clouds and dirt, and all sorts of interesting places.

2. That music surrounds her.

3. That she lives in a community that shows her a diversity of humanity.

4. That God is part of everything that surrounds her.

5. I hope her mom lets her make messes. (Erin's mom didn't, and I regret that.)

6. That books and puzzles and games stimulate her mind.

7. That Roarke lives to be an old, old dog.

8. I hope that God blesses her with lots of brothers, sisters, and cousins to play with.

9. I pray that she will see everyday how much her mommy and daddy love each other.

10. I hope she has curly hair.

Nothing in particular

Not much to talk about today. We had a busy weekend, with another coming up, and then it will be the end. The last week of summer vacation for this old girl. It's been both eventful and mundane; not at all what I planned, yet restful and given to lots of introspection.
Last night was our usual gathering at DQ after evening services. We pretty much packed the joint and had to re-arrange the furniture for us all to fit in our little clumps, but it was fun. One thing I love about my life is that, everywhere I look, I see love. I am surrounded by friends and family, and even when I am just sitting in a pew after the last "amen" I can look around and watch love in action.It is in the joyful faces of Dana and Erin's peers coming home with their babies to visit, or the look of compassion on one face while listening to the heartbreak of another, or the quiet concern of men gathered in a group discussing someone who needs help. Love. In all forms and functions. And it's mine to drink in and envelope into my soul.
So, perhaps I did have something to say today. I am blessed beyond measure.

A Silver Anniversary

Earlier today, I was writing a long overdue note to a former teacher. Recently, I've run into two former students, Joe and Becky. Joe, as you may have read earlier, is among my top 5 students of all time, and Becky drove me crazy every day I had her. I prayed for her to be absent; she was HORRIBLE on 9 days out of 10. Several times, she'd - well, let's not go into all that, let's just move on. In spite of all that, she came up and hugged me and told me how she wished she was still in my class. (Perhaps I should try acting!!)
Seeing them both reminded me of Mr. Franklin. I grew up calling him "Dickie" because he was in my brother's class, and everyone called him that - his name is Richard. By the time I got into high school, Mr. Franklin was a teacher. He was also the yearbook sponsor, so my friend and I signed up to do yearbook with "Dickie." That decision changed who I am today in a powerful way - he made me editor, which forced me to deal with people and situations that I'd never have felt able to do. I doubt he gave it a moment's thought, but I see it as a pivotal moment in my life.
So today, after all these years, I'm sending Mr. Franklin a thank you note. I've intended to do it for many years, but just haven't. I hope I say what I want to express to him my gratitude. This is my 25th year to teach, and I hope there's someone out there that feels even a small portion of that towards me. It will make it all worthwhile.

How did I know?!

On our first date, Andy and I went to a concert at the Student Center of our university, Sam Houston State. The artist was B.W. Stevenson, of "My Maria" fame, and he (Andy) promptly forgot my name when a buddy of his walked up and introduced himself. Great first impression that one was!
Fast forward to yesterday. I'm sitting in the pew following the invitation and a couple of responses, and there he stands, sharing with the congregation the needs and concerns of the folks who came to the front. As I sat there, my heart just filled up with the most wonderful sort of pride; to hear his speak so lovingly and compassionately about the circumstances these brothers and sisters in Christ had found themselves in.
How DID I know all those years ago that he would evolve into such a man? I knew he had good qualities and a love of God and a desire to grow in His will, but I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about those things. Over the years, God has molded and shaped his heart into what it is today, and as I sat and watched him yesterday, I felt so blessed.
Erin asked me once how I knew he would be a good husband. I told her I didn't, that I just loved how he kissed!! Thanks be to God for giving me so much more that I ever dreamed of!!

Teacher's Pet

I try to act like it at the time; I try to make them think I don't favor one over the others, but sometimes you just can't help it. There comes along one who jumps in you heart and you can't do anything but love them, no matter what they do. I've had several over all the years, but ran in to #1 this week at the store. (At least he's #1 until I run into another!!)
I don't know if I've posted about Joe before. He came up to me in the check-out line this week and grinned and said, "I'm going to have a baby!"
Now, even with the Manu-facial hair, he still looks like a 4th grader
and the twinkle in his eyes melted me right there. Luckily, there was no one behind me, and the checker saw we needed some time, so she didn't rush me. He pointed out his girl-friend and parents, and so after I grilled him there at the register, we walked over and I met "her." His mom and dad still look in their 20s, and we've had a great relationship through the years, so it was wonderful to see them as well.
Joe tells me he will be a Senior this year; they will make him shave, but he knows it will grow back. The baby will come in March; he is working two jobs so they can get their own place and not live with the folks. He promised me a graduation announcement, we hugged and each walked to our cars.
I don't know if Joe ever learned to read - I did everything I knew how to teach him. The day of his TAKS test (or whatever they called it then), he turned the page, looked up at me, and drew his hood over his face while laying his head down. I walked over to him, rubbed his back with one hand and pointed word by word though each story. We were both exhausted by the time it was over, but we made it. I don't know if he even passed this year; my guess would be "no", but he has stuck it out and is on track to graduate. School has not been easy for Joe, but he has earned it.
It's enough to make me ready to go back and find another Joe.

Deeann, the photographer

All through the years, my cousin Deeann has taken lots of grief over her passion for "capturing the moment" with her camera.

It didn't have to be any special occasion - stop on the side of the road and take a pic if the scenery were pretty and we were together. Her brothers especially grumbled on occasion at having to stop something they were doing - probably sports related - for a picture.
But on Tuesday, at Aunt Mary's funeral, I'll bet they were all glad she was so persistent. The video of family pictures flowed before us, some terribly funny and some heartbreakingly sad. It was a perfect panorama of the family's changes as the years went by. Not all of them were Deeann's - A beautiful, young Mary holding her son Ralph, who died at 3 years, and a portrait of Aunt Mary with a Deeann-looking Sandra who followed Ralph at 7 years. Her young, handsome husband, Billy, who she adored and lost so many years ago, and Bobby who we gathered together only a year ago to mourn. I think, however, my favorite picture was the last. It showed a huddled group of team and fans following a Millsap Bulldog football game. You couldn't tell if they'd won or lost, but you could see Aunt Mary. Right in the center of the group, there she was - tiny, frail and looking quite old. It was beautifully taken, and I'll bet those brothers were not complaining as we watched it that Deeann had had her camera ready as always, to catch a perfect moment in time.
It's funny, our roles in our family. Deeann, on this occasion, full-filled hers perfectly. Thanks, cousin.



Well, at Aunt Mary's funeral last week, I was thinking how glad we should all be with her now. The slide show was quite a documentation of the family's change through the years, both greatly funny and sad. To pick a favorite would have been truly hard, but I think the last shot of the show was my favorite. It showed a scene at the end of a Millsap Bulldog's football game, with everyone in the center of the field. I don't know if they won or lost, but there, centered right where you could see her, was Aunt Mary. Tiny, wirey, old aunt Mary

Random observations of late...

I've been quite emotional lately; Auny Mary dying, Liz growing healthy and strong, Bekah leaving for India, dealing with my own demons, and so on. I've not been weepy like this since before my hysterectomy, and I really am caught off guard. I requested a song the other night in Houston and could hardly sing it because I became so emotional over the words!! I'm eager for this stage to pass....

Andy is out working in the yard as I write this post. He took a day off yesterday to relax after our "Tour de Texas." We actually drove by the cut-off to Crawford, but somehow didn't make it to the house itself. I hear the Secret Service frowns on people dropping in.

Last night was our turn to host the Summer Youth Series. The speaker was really good - I hope to hear him again sometime. Afterwards, I got to visit with Joy, Betty and Bob, and sweet Jackie Jenkins. I miss her and that stinky husband of hers. I miss them a lot -

One month today, I go back to work. To most people, a month off would be wonderful, and I am dreading that I "only" have one month left. Teachers ARE spoiled in that respect. I just hope it doesn't fly by.

One of the nicest parts of going to Aunt Mary's funeral was having all that time with Erin. You can do a LOT of talking covering that many miles, and I never grew tired of enjoying watching what an amazing woman she is. Liz is going to be a lucky little girl to have her as a mom.

Please take care of yourselves. I love you -

Deeann, Randall, John, Elaine, James, Roland, Tom, David, Crystal, Beth,Mark, and so on....

Back at Erin's. I feel like the commercial that sings, "I've been everywhere, man, I've been everywhere." My back is sore from all the different beds and sitting in the car for two days, but I wouldn't change a minute of the past 3 days.

I am at my best after I've been with my cousins. I really feel like that - that my life and focus are renewed and I have been bathed in honest, faithful love. I could stay days and days in their presence, and never tire. Even on such a "sad" occasion, it was great. Saw cousins I haven't seen in DECADES; so good to hug their necks.

I'm a little too emotional and tired right now to tell about the funeral, but I will tell one funny spot. Aunt Mary had 5 living children, and they always wanted to know which one was the favorite. So, they made her a shirt that says, "I love _____ best." It goes down the shirt in list form, with each child's name in the blank. Each child has their own color of ink. Then, they each have their own shirt that reads, " Mom loves me best!" Those were laid out at the funeral home and then reference was made to them at the service. Everyone had a good laugh, and it was a testimony to their bond.

It was great to have Erin and Liz with us... it's up to us now to keep the kids in touch. The May girls are all gone, and it's our turn to pass their legacy on. I hope I'm up to the task.

Paradise Valley and more!!

Yesterday, we drove over to Houston to pick up Erin for the trip to the funeral. Usually, their congregation does not meet on Sunday evenings, but last night, they did, so we met them there. They were having a "Singing" - and we got there just as the first song was going.
Their congregation is huge - almost 1,000 members, but last night we met in the chapel. It holds 200, and we sang and sang, and sang some more. New songs, old songs, fast and slow songs. They gave us a chance for requests, so I loudly yelled out "185" and got a lot of laughter... poor Erin. Her mother!! Anyway, my song was the prettiest one we sang - "Jesus, Thy Name I Love." Can't get through it without tearing up. Amazing. Lots of good voices and energy. Good old, 4 part harmony. We even learned a new "round" that made me wish for Jackie.

So, today we head north for visitation, then the funeral is tomorrow afternoon. Erin has to work on Wed., so we will come right back. I'm so glad she is going, but I know all the riding may be hard on her. I promised Gregg I'd take good care of her - and Elizabeth.

Please keep us in your prayers as we travel.

A win-win situation

"Brothers, I do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep,or to grieve like the rest of men who have no hope. We believe the Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him."
1 Thes. 4: 12-14 NIV

If there is a smoking room in Heaven, that is where Aunt Mary is right now, with her beloved sisters and brother, husband, children and parents. They are having the reunion that each one, in their own time, took solace in when facing death. They are lighting up one after another, and the coffee will not stop brewing. They are laughing and loving on each other now just as they did in life. And they are finally together again.
Lenora, Roland, Joyce, Myrna, Margaret, and now, Mary Alice. Uncle Billie, Sandra, Ralph, and Bobby Wayne. Cousin Glenda. My mamaw and papaw. My, what a party they have going on!

My little lamb

Been having trouble falling asleep the past couple of nights. Guess the waiting and worrying over Aunt Mary has played a number on my rest. We are just waiting now; she has a staph infection that has gone to her heart, and at 87 years old, that's about unbeatable. She's strong though - her daughter tells me it took 6 people to hold her down to put in the iv. My aunt is all of 5 feet and 80 pounds, but I hear she's fighting it.
Anyway, last night, I was tossing and turning, singing hymns in my head and not getting anywhere. Finally, one thought calmed me down and let me relax. Elizabeth. I visualized her smiling face and sweet smell, over and over, and soon, I was asleep.

Nice.

What a bunch of dames!!

My mom had 4 sisters. They were called "The May Girls" and were quite the bombshells in the days of WWII. I've seen flirty pictures of them in their swimsuits sitting on soldiers laps that no young, awkward teenage girl should have to see!! They married handsome men and loved each other very, very much.

All of them are gone now, except my Aunt Mary. I got word this morning through the magic of email that she is in ICU in severe pain and bad shape. Doesn't look good. Pray hard, her daughter said.

Aunt Mary married my Uncle Billie and lost her first two children before I was born. They went on and had 5 more kids, the dear cousins I've written about before. Deeann is like my sister in many ways, and when the third sister died, she said to me, "No offense, Amy, but I hope my mom is not the last to go."
Well, she is, and has amazed us all by her health and stamina. Until about the last year, she was putting on her own roof and mowing her yard with a push-mower. She is "Granny" to everyone in her little town, and still took tickets at the basketball games last winter. She is 84.

She never quit - no matter what life handed her. No matter how hard it was to raise all those kids, to bury her husband when so young and never remarry. To bury two little children. To lose all those sisters (and their crazy brother Roland) and her mother and father. Now last year, she lost her son. She never quit.

So, I'd appreciate whatever prayers you would lift up on her behalf. Not so much for her - she's probably ready to leave this world and join those she loves, but for her 4 remaining children, grandkids, great-grandkids, and a niece and nephew or two.

I love dogs. If we had a fence, Andy and I would be at serious war over whether or not to get one... I haven't had one since I was a teenager, but it's not for lack of desire. As awesome as Smudge was, he WAS a cat, and it's not the same. Very rarely do I come across a dog I don't like; such was the case with Bo. He was my sister-in-law's dog, and I disliked him from the first time I saw him. Just never bonded at all those family gatherings. Now, today we get an email saying they had to put him down.

Having had to do that twice in just a few years, I know the anguish of the decision and the loneliness of after the fact. I've never known more surely in my life that putting Smudge down was "for his own good" and eased his suffering - the look in his eyes those last couple of days said more to me than any words could, but it doesn't ease YOUR sadness or loneliness for them.

So, today, as the Fritsche's cope with losing Bo, I'm right there with them. He was part of their family for a long time, and I know their hurt will take a while. Rest in peace, Bo. I hope there's cake for you to eat in dog heaven.

Let the Planning Begin!

Just ask my family - my favorite part of taking a trip is the planning.
When the girls were little and money was quite tight, the planning was essential to make it the best trip for the least amount spent. Now, sweetly, the cash isn't nearly so sparse, and there ARE just two of us going, but I still find the planning to be great fun.

Frankly, due to gas prices, we are not heading to the mountains this summer - as much as we love them. The challenge therefore was to find a place to go that we hadn't done before and wouldn't require a second mortgage. After scanning our great state all over, we decided on the very tip of Texas; the Valley. I've never been there, and we found a great resort on South Padre that offers all sorts of cool stuff.
So, in two weeks, hurricanes allowing, we are heading south to the Valley. Then, I will be able to say I've been to every part of this amazingly diverse state. Sounds like a fun time for all!!

My Previous Life

Growing up, there was a lot of music in my home. Gary and I would put on music and waltz throughout the house, Daddy sang and whistled, and Mama would play the Everly Brothers and the Platters. But best of all were the John Phillip Sousa marches. We would play them on the record player (a big box that had a turntable and arm that held big, black vinyl circles with grooves cut in them, in case you didn't know.), and we would march like soldiers while humming along. It was magical.

I don't believe in reincarnation, but if I did, it would have to be that I was either John Philip or his wife. I can still pretty much "name that tune" on very few introductory notes, and it sets my heart to skipping. Just the energy and power of those chords and harmonies fill me with excitement.
And this weekend, among no other, will be filled with Washington Post, Stars and Stripes Forever, and so on. It is my yearly fix. We actually had an original recording of his band on one of mom's 78 records (those vinyl discs used to come in several speeds.), but it has been lost. I would have loved to have had it.

So, when you hear Stars and Stripes Forever this weekend, think of me!! I'll be somewhere, marching and humming!

Once a mom, always a mom

I get it, mom. All those years of sighing and rolling my eyes when I saw your name on the caller I.D. - I get it now. Erin will get it soon - once a mom, you are ALWAYS a mom.

As soon as they put Dana in my arms the first time, I was her #1 fan for all time. And even though she is a "grown woman," I still worry and pray and dwell on what she is doing each and every day. We had a wonderful visit this past weekend, and I look at her with eyes full of love and pride and admiration, and try to remember that she is not 8 years old. She is competent and independent and very - well, normal. All that rearing that she got has paid off, along with a lot of blessings from people around her. And yet, as she drove off, I worried. Too many news reports and scary novels not to. I'm so glad that God hasn't gotten tired of my asking Him to watch over her in her life; but it's that mom-thing. And I'm glad she is patient with me.

Get ready, Erin. Elizabeth will make you understand like you never would imagine.

Good vs. Evil

Today, I caught the end of the movie "Ever After." It stars Drew Barrymore as Cinderella, and it's one of my favorites. The humor is right up my alley, and the wicked are truly evil. A great flick.
Toward the end of the movie, Cinderella asks her evil step-mother if there was ever a time when she loved her. The woman's response is, "How can a person ever love a pebble in her shoe?", which crushes Cinderella to the core.
It made me think of my mother-in-law. She married Andy's dad shortly after Andy's mother died when he was not yet 5 and his brother 2 years old. She moved into her home, ate off her dishes, and sat on her furniture. She worked to pay of the hospital debt left without a complaint and, without going into too personal information, dealt with relatives on all sides who were non too happy with the marriage.
And she raised Andy and Bruce as her own. The term "step" never was uttered in the house, and the family grew to include two more children. Now, I imagine there were days when being Andy's mother was not fun - after all, his mommy had just died and he had a lot of adjusting to do. And yet, he was her son. She gave up her homeland to become an American in case the boys ever had to go to war and had to fight. She gave up many other things as well, and never complained.
I don't tell her often enough how much I honor her and love her; outside my own grandmother, she is probably one of my earthly heroes. She is 83 now, and she and my father-in-law have had a happy marriage. Just like Cinderella and her prince, they have lived "happily ever after." And they deserve it .

Post # 350 !!

Wow. 350 times I've had something I thought were worth sharing. One day, I'll go back and read them all. Maybe...
The other day, I went to Blockbuster and came home with 10 movies. Haven't rented any all summer, so this is the week to catch up. Yesterday, I watched "The Other Bolyn Girl" with Natalie Portland and Scarlett Johanson. I enjoyed the scenery and the costumes were gorgeous, I think it was the best acting I've seen from Natalie P., but I came away from the story really sad at the mess those people made of their lives because of ambition. It reminded me of the ambitious Father Ralph from the Thorn Birds - how his whole life came to ruin because of his ambition in the Catholic church.
I got to thinking that ambition is one of those character traits that can be either really beneficial or detrimental. How far does someone's ambition go to cause them to ruin either their own lives or the lives of others around them? If you are ambitious, people look up to you as hard-working and confident - unlike unambitious folks who just go-with-the-flow and live life as it comes to them. I think I'll choose to live somewhere in the middle. I don't want to lose my head over it!!

Well, here goes....

I wrote a long, very personal post today and then dumped it. Surfice it to say, it was very therapeutic in nature, and opened my own eyes to some things I do not want to face. I wish I would have had the guts to publish it, but hopefully it served its purpose just seeing it myself. Why is it so very hard to face one's demons?

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice....

Never again will I call her an "it." That's right; Erin and Gregg are having a daughter!! Something inside told me that she was a "he"- but I cannot tell you how very right this feels at this moment. Here are some things I'm pondering at this time:

I am on the search for the perfect rocking chair. It has to be comfy for long stretches of rocking = a good, roomy seat. It cannot scoot across the floor, cannot squeak or moan (no comments here!), and have "adjustable" speeds - quick for fussy, restless baby girls and a slow, quiet speed for a sleeping baby and contented Nana. Any suggestions?

Erin has the most beautiful hair, but I'm thinking this baby needs Gregg's curls. Are blonds ever curly-headed? I don't recall seeing many blonds with natural curls. Hmmm....

My mom would be so happy to know her name. It seems funny now to say it since she's not born yet, but I think I'll adapt. It's a lovely, elegant name honoring women very close to Erin's heart. She will have a lot to live up to... yet there's plenty of room for her own wondrous personality.

Oh, dear. I really sound like a Nana now!!! After I see it in print on Erin's blog, I'll fill you in, but I don't think it's my place to go first. I'm trying very hard to do things the right way here.
Don't want to mess up the visitation priviledges before she's ever here!!

One last thing; she's a big one - all of 12 ounces!!

Hurry up! - Slow down! -

Sunday, for a treat, Andy took me into SA for lunch following morning worship. We rarely eat out, and NEVER drive into town just to eat, so it made me a happy girl. On the way, we got behind some folks who were not in a hurry and we were on a double yellow stripe, so we had to wait until we were able to pass. It didn't hold us up that much, but just the idea of not going 70 was frustrating. I mean, our lunches were there for the picking, and we were behind some old country bumpkins!
Soon enough, we were there enjoying our dinner, not thinking again about the holdup. Later, that night, our minister was talking from the pulpit about how he and his wife had stood just below where he was to be married years before. As he talked about it, his faced transformed into one of wistfullness; of a man whose life has gone by much faster than he'd ever dreamed it would - in fact, he made that statement almost word for word. The moment took him back to his younged life, and you could feel the wistfullness just looking at him. I thought about that morning, how I'd been in such a goofy rush to get somewhere that meant nothing to my life; to not be "too late" having lunch. How foolish....
Now, today I think of my coming granddaughter, Liz. When I look at the ticker on the blog, those days to come seem very far off, and yet I know she will be here before I know it. There is a Star Trek movie we watched the other day where the people on the planet can slow time down, to "hold on" to a moment to fully enjoy it. I hope I figure out how to do that before she is born.
Time. God is so lucky not to be bound by it. I guess we will enjoy that in Heaven.

A little preview

Well, Andy has been at home this week; a little taste of retirement to come. It's been a productive week so far; the list of things to do has been shortened by several items, but there's still lots to do. Hopefully, his next week off will be more recreational !!
We've been very relaxed in our labors - do a little, stop and visit; do some more; eat lunch... you get the drill. Our yard looks great thanks to his efforts, and the cars are all taken care of. Now, I'll be happy to get the bathroom painted in the next couple of days. It's been nice to have him home, and to see how the 24/7 life of retirement will be.

I'm just glad we like to be together after all these years!!

A Day Late

While yesterday was Father's Day, I want to take my time today to reflect on the many wonderful men who have had an influence on my life. I know as soon as I sign off, however, that one or two will pop into my mind, but for now, here goes:



1. My dad. Graves Calvin Young. Mechanic extrordinaire, singer and whistler, loud laugher and champion yard/gardener. I hear him in my head as we speak, and I miss him so very much. Not a man of "words of affirmation" but you knew he loved you and wanted to be with you. He loved his grandchildren even more than the three of us.



2. My father-in-law. Frank LaMore. Has always been kind and helpful. Raised some great kids, especially my husband.



3. Jon Rhodes. College professor/ mentor/ "college dad." He

made a big impact in my life and then broke my heart by divorcing "mama Rhodes." But life goes on, doesn't it?



4. Jon Kelley. Every son should have a father like Jon. Patrick was at his side every step of the way growing up; and he was shown every example of how to serve the Lord's people.



5. Jim Lassiter. Our other college dad. Strong, fun, faithful.



6. Lin Johnson. Gregg's dad. See # 4 An amazing pair of men, who bless my life everyday. My grandchildren are blessed to have them in their lives.



7. Robert Hutton. He is everybody's dad. Watching Jarred as a father is testimony to his influence.



And I have to mention Andrew. I knew he came from a strong family full of high standards, but never dreamed he would be the man he is. His daughters have always been his focus, and our lives are stronger because he is our leader.



So, a late "Happy Father's Day" to all the guys above. Thanks for being part of my life, past, present and future. I hope you know how very much I love you all.

Trust

When the girls were young, we'd talk to them about trust and what all that entailed. We would model that for them by following up on promises and keeping confidences. We made sure that they understood that, once trust was broken, it took a long, long time to build back and relationships were damaged by losing trust in someone. Throughout our marriage, that trust has stayed strong in each other.
This year, in both our jobs, we've lost trust in co-workers. People we felt secure in our professional relationships with have done and said things that have made us wonder if we should have trusted in the first place, and have caused us to change the way we felt about our roles in our jobs. It is a horrible feeling, and for both of us to go through that in the same year has been devistating. It certainly takes away the joy of working with others, and the good we felt we accomplished.
Sure makes retirement look good....

I'm not in High School anymore....

Today, I started a 3 day training in San Antonio with a couple of co-teachers. We left bright and early to be on time, then talked our way past the street and ended up rushing anyway. (Tomorrow will go better !) Anyway, it was a quick day, an hour lunch and out by 3:00. Today was just the overview of the program, so I didn't get a lot of new information, but that's okay. Sometimes, just being around other teachers is enough to invigorate you and get you ready for the coming year.



I learned, however, that "one size doesn't fit all." We are at a High School, sitting in those lovely, hard student desks. Now, I know those big football player boys fit in them, and I fit in them, but by 2:00, I was ready to stand up the rest of the day. And we have two more days. I'm going to have to drag a chair from the teacher workroom and make myself more comfortable, or it's going to be painful. Bad thing is, we are sitting at the back of the classroom, so I'll have to lift it up over the others and make a spectacle of myself. My choices appear to be anonymity or comfort - tomorrow will tell.

A Retraction of Yesterday

I feel like I need to apologize for the mood of my last post. I guess I am still getting over the last year of school- hands down one of my worst. Both my girls called to "tease" me about sounding so in-your-face; I really was just venting. Sometimes things just add up and explode. Those of you who know me know that I'm not usually like that. So, if I came across as moody or angry, I apologize.

Tomorrow we head to the great city of Houston. I say that tongue in cheek, because except for my family there, I'd never go back. They are the only draw for me, and so I'm trying to develope a better attitude about the city as a whole. Hmmm, another new attitude... is this a pattern?
Anyway, we will be there for the quick weekend, and then back home. Week one of summer will be over.

Enjoy your Friday!

What, a post without the Spurs in it???!!

Greetings after a week away; I'm back to writing on my home computer which is tentative at best, so posts will depend on its "mood." I'll do my best, but be patient....

People who are not involved in teaching just don't get it. I'm about ready to just give up trying to explain that the end of the year is traumatic. I guess the closest I would come would be if you quit your job and had to pack up everything in boxes and walk away after completing 6 surveys, checking everything off 5 lists, turning in everything you've checked out from 10 different people, and then walking away from the kids you've given your heart and soul to for 9 months, wondering like crazy if you've made any difference in their life. I'm really trying not to whine - I don't like whiners - but why does everyone I talk to think I need to "do something" immediately after school is over?!?! My in-laws, neighbors, and even dear friends are probably tired of looking at my glazed-over eyes whenever they ask me what I'm going to "do", but until my brain is rested and quiet, I have no plans. None. The first couple of weeks, I'm on coast. Rest. Vegge. The old Amy will arise again in time, but until then, know that I am doing what I need mentally to adjust to the end of a long, stressful year.

Now, that rant's over.

Had a wonderful visit with my dearest friend, Shanon. She came over and we talked, and talked, and talked. Played a new game so she could beat Andy, and took a nice nap one afternoon. Other than that, we talked.... I love her with my whole heart, and when I am with her, I realize how much I wish she was in my life more often. She's seen the best and worst in me, and has seen me grow into a better woman through the years. I've seen her at depths of sorrow and anger that no one should have to face, and she has come out of it with her faith in the Lord to sustain her. We strive very hard to hold on to a friendship that could easily be given up on considering the miles between us, but we won't let it. I am so grateful for that.
She calls me her "forever friend" and I am honored. I feel the same.

Thanks for coming, dear friend. I miss you already -

Eulogy for Manu

Spurs lose to Lakers; Manu just wasn't a factor at all; nor Tony for that matter. At least it wasn't a blow-out; just not to be. I think the every-other year thing is in their heads, and we have to fix that.

If I hear Kobe one more time, though, I may go Postal.

Now what do I post about ?!?

Closing up the year today with a lot of nothing to do. One good thing about teaching what I do is, I get a couple of days the homeroom teachers don't get, so I get ahead of the game. Now, it's wait to sign out and load the car.

Plans, plans, and more plans

I am married to a planner. Shoulda seen it coming before the wedding, but even then, I had no idea the ramifications it would hold. 32 years of planning...
I've come to realize that it is not a bad thing, in case you were wondering. Sure, for a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants girl, who loves to jump up and run, it can have it's frustrations, but for the most part, it is a more sane lifestyle. It breeds consistency and calm routine. And sometime, boredom.
Take children. I wanted a baby right away. Married - baby - house. Not Andrew. He wanted to wait 4 years (we were all of 21 at the time!! That clock of mine was ticking loudly!!) before having our first, and I just gave up trying to talk him into it. The man does nothing he doesn't want to. So, we had Dana after 4 years. It's not just the big things either, and sometimes those are the most frustrating.

Now, I understand that living with a jump and run wife is not easy. "Where's dinner," he asks. "Oh, I decided to color with Erin this afternoon instead of cook, so, we'll have it in a couple of hours." "Did you pick up _____ ?" " Oops, Cathy called and we went to see Dee." You get his side of this story? I really think it may be harder for him, because it sets his whole way of thinking way off kilter; whereas, I have no kilter to set off.

What's the point of this entry? I'm thinking about how this is just one part of married life that makes things hard - if you don't balance it. Luckily, over the years, we've adapted to each other, and have learned how to keep the other one from total domination. I've learned to wait, be patient, accept "not now" without pouting. He's learned to throw in some spontaneity every now and then to pacify the wife. It's a win-win. Finally, we've figured something out!!

Spurs vs school ending...

I know that I'm vascillating between the two subjects listed above, but other than my upcoming venture into grandmother-hood, nothing else right now occupies my mind. The way the Spurs are going, it should come to a crashing end soon; much to my sadness. I think they've believed all the hype about their age and not being able to repeat, and so it will lead to an early demise. So sad....

I'm looking forward to an easy summer with my dear Andrew and sweet daughters, and finishing some plans we are starting on the house, so I'm pumped. I just hope it doesn't go too fast!

Time for the fun to begin - have a good day!

The last Friday with children !!

Today is my last day to "serve" children. Next week is only 2 1/2 days full of awards, movies, parties, and other end-of-year mania. It all comes down to how to keep them busy when they know grades are in and it's over. Especially the 4th graders going to a new campus - it's a done deal. Anyway, back to my kids.

My little man Pate (no pun to the movie title intended!) will not be here today. He lingered back after the others left yesterday, as is his method when he wants to tell me something, and told me the family is leaving for a long weekend at lunch. I tried not to fuss too much, and he gave a little side hug and grin, and we promised to see each other before the end of next week. Today is celebration day for all they've done in class, and I've brought soda and popcorn. Not enough to get them hyper, you understand, but enough to enjoy. We will talk, play dominoes or some other game, and then say goodbye. It's been a long year, and I'm ready.

I have to tell you that knowing I have 3 years left is an odd sensation as far as approaching work next year. The end being in sight, even though it is 3 years and not the last, helps put things into perspective. I don't like what school is becoming, at least on this campus, but I can continue to influence my corner of the world the best I can and keep things balanced and sane. Then, Lord willing, I will walk out the door knowing I gave it my best.

Well, let's get this Friday going - the popcorn is ready to be popped and the drinks are cold!! Let's party!!

To Newlyweds everywhere -

On Saturday, Andy and I drove to Houston to attend the 25th wedding anniversary party for his sister and her husband. As I was paying for our drinks at the Shell station, I mentioned our trip to the clerk, and she said, "Wow - have her tell me how they did it." I told her - they are friends and laugh all the time. They have a commitment to each other for life.

So, as I spend the day in reflection of my 32 years with Andrew, I think about all those who are newly married and wondering how it's going to work. Lots of things come into play, but here are the basics I think every marriage must have to work:
~ God has to be first. Without His Word to guide us and the example of other Christian couples, it can be trecherous out there.
~ Commit to each other for life. That phrase "Till death do us part" is not there for its literary beauty. There will be no divorce. It is not an option.
~ Laugh - often and from the gut
~ Kiss a lot (my favorite !)
~ Take aging and difficulty as they come. You are both getting older, and hard times will come, so hold on and get through them.
~ Keep no secrets.

Most of these have been relatively easy for us, but a couple have not, and it's usually been because of something stupid I've done. But because Andrew is Andrew, we've made it this far.

He says tonight is a surprise, so I'm eager to get home. No Spurs, so I guess we'll be alone!! I plan on a lot of kissing!!

That time of year....

I'm sitting here, looking at my classroom, and thinking of the stuff I really need to get busy doing. My "nest" around my desk is scary with it's sticky notes, schedules, ARD schedules, calendars, - well, you get the idea. I was hoping that I'd be packing it up for good, but the retirement thing isn't working out. I didn't really think it would, but had a little hope. So, I'm staying in this room another year. I'll be on this campus half a day and Primary the other half. I guess I will choose to make the best of it, but I'd much rather do something else... any ideas?

We had a lovely visit with the family this past weekend. Since we see the nieces and nephews so seldom, it was eye-opening to see the men and women they'd become since we were last there. Soon, they will all be one their own, and it will just be the "old folks" sitting around. I hope I can still find my way over there!!

I''m doing it TODAY !

I've been thinking about it for a while, now, and Mary Beth has really encouraged me to go for it. Now, even Andrew is giving me signs that he will support me. I thought it was years away, but apparently not.

I'm looking into retirement. Wow. It's probably way too soon for us to manage financially, but the events of this past year and the way next year is looking, I'm thinking the time may be "righter" than I thought. I have only a week or two at the most to make my decision, so pray, pray, pray, please!! I'm afraid and anxious all at once, so I'm hoping it's very obvious what I need to do.

I just DON'T want another year like this one... ever.

I'll keep you posted!!

Something new to think about....

Do you ever feel like God is thumping you on the head, saying "Hello!! Look at it from this angle!! I'm right here!! ?"

When the girls were born, I gave them back to God. I promised Him that I would raise them in faith and truth, that I would show His love to them at every opportunity, and all I would ask would be that He kept them safe and well. So far, so good.

Now, though, I realize that perhaps one of my prayers for a long while has been limited to what I perceived asthe only way that God could work. How naive of me to put God's abilities in such a small box. Now, I'll sit back and see just how amazing His love for my child can be. I'll continue trusting and watching for the long-awaited outcome to my prayers.

Good to have them back!!

I'm not sure who those guys were in New Orleans, but they in no way resembled the team that took game 3 last night. Tim, Tony and Many were back in their element, and it was way beyond fun to watch! Gregg and Erin came in about half-way through the 3rd period and enjoyed watching the group cheer the boys on. Once we got through that one, we felt like the game was ours. Sunday night is not so dreaded now, and then we go back to N.O.

I just hope the Big Three make the team plane!!

Thanks to my daughters!

Every now and then, a memory rushes over me like a tidal wave, and I am a little girl once again. Just now, as I sat at my desk, I saw a class of very excited 4th graders coming into their room with their Mother's Day cards created in computer lab. Each face so proud, so full of excitement at the anticipation of giving it to their mom and seeing her reaction. Later today, if you brought money, you get to go to the cafeteria and decorate a cake for Mom and take it home to her. It's the talk of the campus!

For me, Mother's Day was always the hardest. Margaret was creative and talented and had high standards. I'm not saying she didn't love my little homemade cards and stuff; it was later when we were both adults that the pressure to please her was the worst.
And the cards full of sappy sentiment just didn't say what I felt.
We just didn't have that type of relationship, as much as I wanted it. By the time she was able to say what I needed to hear, it was too late. My heart was hard and unlistening.

So, for me, it's all about my girls. What joy they have given me in their lives, and I have learned so much about myself through them. Their love and respect fill my life with pleasure, and Mother's Day comes with each phone call I receive. Who needs cake?!

A moment of reflection

Today, we met with our principal in team meetings. Usually, it's pretty serious stuff, but today began the marking off of days! When all was said and done, I have 8 - count 'em -days of classes with my kids. Single digits!! There's Field Day, field trips, movies, awards ceremonies, and touring the PIC campus; their new home in the Fall.
When the kids came in, I went over all the good stuff and told them just how few days we have left together. I've had them for 2 years now, and the already anxious feelings they have about PIC are compounded (by a few at least) with sadness of leaving me. Some, I'm ready to part with and pass on, but there are some in this group I'll try hard to keep in touch with: Jimmy the cartoon voice boy, Zoe my little "tweener", Max - a big boy a year older that I can love one minute and pinch the next, and Pate. Such a quiet little man I'll miss the most.
But there's the beauty of teaching; another group comes in right behind them in the Fall, and our lives will intermingle as these have. My little ones will move on and do just fine. I just hope I made some measure of impact in their lives.

What a weekend!!

Yesterday, I crashed. I reached my stopping point about 2:30 p.m. after a whirlwind couple of days. Between the Spurs, Dana coming in, and the luncheon, it was crazy. Add to that, Andy leaving early for Georgetown on Sat. morning, it was madness and mayhem. But I am filled with happy feelings this morning, full of good memories and anticipation of more to come.

Having Dana at home is always wonderful. I'd keep her forever, but I know that is not the way it will be... so I relish my time with her. Just having her at the luncheon was a treat, even though we really didn't spend it together. Then, she chose to go out on Sat. night rather than watch the Spurs with us!! What is up with that?!? Anyway...

The comments on the luncheon far surpassed my expectation, but then the efforts put out by everyone to transform the room certainly set the stage. We've learned a few things for next time, but for the most part, it was perfect. The team worked beautifully together, and the turn out was great!!

Yesterday was Andy's biggest day. Church, blood drive, elders' meeting, put up tables and set up fellowship room as usual (ugly!), worship, grocery story then home. I missed him, but he just has those days.

Now, we have the week to rest. Thursday, Gregg, Erin and Roarke come in for a long weekend. The Spurs crowd will be at our house when they arrive, so that will be fun. Everyone loves the Johnsons, and will be so happy to see them. Hopefully, the Spurs will oblige!!

Well, school begins - have a good day!

A simple sentence leads to a glorious event!!

Tomorrow is the luncheon. We've had a great time planning it, and everyone is good to go; or so I hope. Lots of emails, phone calls, planning meetings, and so on come down to tomorrow at 11:00. I hoped and prayed for 40 ladies to sign up; we have just over 50!! I am so pumped - I feel like this is a jumping off point for more good things to come.

After school, we meet to pull the tables all together, to put our heads together once more, and to see just what it is we've forgotten. I can't imagine how it will all play out, but I know it's been a labor of love. God will be glorified and His daughters will have a great time together. His Will be done.

I'll let you know all about it later!!

I would wager that, no matter on which campus you chose to visit, today you would see teachers, counselors, administrators and students walking about in a daze. Bags under the eyes, faces that look like they've not slept in a week, which is a falacy because every adult I work with has gone home after testing and fallen into bed to sleep off the day's stress. (Do you know that if I am found to have "cheated" in any way, my teaching liscense will be revoked? No matter how tiny the infraction, you are called in and written up, so yes - there is mental stress here!) Yesterday, I tested 7 children who finished their day's work at 11:00. We sat in silence, except for a 30 minute lunch, until 2:30. Can you do that? No drawing, no writing, no getting up. Sitting and reading or sleeping. I myself cannot do that, much less a 10 year old.

Anyway... it's over for another year. What is done is done. Everyone now is looking to the "fun" part of school - Field Trips and field days, and the creative side of teaching that is pushed aside for the sake of "THE TEST."

I just hope I passed !!

WOW

Everyone is saying it. This series with Phoenix was tough enough to be the Finals; I truly had my doubts last night.
After a hard day of testing, I wasn't going to go; just send Andy to the Hendersons without me and go to bed. I was drained, and yet knew I'd really regret it if I didn't go and they won. So, I went, sat down, and mainly listened to the game. Didn't visit, didn't wander back and forth between tv and snacks. Just sat and hoped against hope the old boys had one more win in their bag of tricks.

They did. Why do I doubt - well, there was that game last Sunday!! Anyway, it wasn't pretty or even athletic in some parts, just hack-a- Shaq'n and floppin and whistle blowing. When it was all said and done, the Spurs were on top to move on. Shaq even kept his mouth shut and didn't say a word on his way out. He knew he'd been schooled.

Now it's on the the Hornets. Younger, hungry, naive about the playoffs and all they bring to the court. Can the boys do it? I know a group of about 20 who will be there every tip off, just to see. We have faith in our boys and Pop.

TAKS begins

It starts this morning; three days of testing what the state says the kids need to know....

Tonight is the Spurs next chance to eliminate the Suns, and I have to go to bed because of testing... I would be too tired if I stayed up for the whole game, so I'll leave it with Andrew and hope I wake up to good news.

If you see a teacher this week, please be nice. It's very stressful around school right now.s

Meet the NBA's Jekyl and Hyde!

Okay, we all go home Friday and take a nap so we can stay awake for the mid-nightish game before us. We put on our Spurs regailia and gather our snacks and find our spots for the night's viewing; high on anticipation.

We were not let down - it was amazing from tip-off to final buzzer!! The Spurs of old (last June!) were in the building and they had their way with those Suns!! It was glorious, and staying awake was a breeze.

So, where were those guys yesterday?!? Could it be they were as tired from Friday as I was ?! It's like two different teams came to play, and it was nothing if not a fan's worst nightmare. Oh well, I'd rather they melt down now rather than in a more crucial situation. I know they will take the series, I was just spoiled on Friday.

Now, on to Tuesday night at the AT&T !!

Changing Perspective

I love Jackie Hutton. Since she came into my life way back in the 20th century, my life has been so much more fun. She makes me laugh when no one else can, and is very adept at reading me. She is a blessing in every way and I thank God for her.

Tuesday night, she fussed at me, and I am taking what she said to heart. I am hooking up my answering machine tonight.

Years ago, we had an answering machine. We unplugged it and destroyed it because the only messages we ever got were either creditors wanting payments we didn't have, or my mother calling to complain or demand. It was not something we ever wanted to listen to again, so why have one of the instruments of torture?!

So. Last Christmas, we are celebrating with the Huttons and exchange gifts. With lots of love, we are presented with a brand new answering machine!! And as I write this post, it is still sitting in the box beside my couch. Everyday, I look at it, and know I need to hook it up, but the past invades my good intentions.

Not today. I have had a revelation, and when I get home, I am hooking it up. I've realized that the demons of the past are gone, and that now it is a messenger of love and good tidings from family and friends. It will be a connection once again to the people I love.

So. Please call and leave words of encouragement. I may falter....

Thanks, Erin !

As soon as I heard that Erin was pregnant, I told her that I wanted one of those little time-line counters for my blog page. She and I discussed the parameters of it all yesterday, and so here it is!! I didn't know there were so many factors; colors, style, etc. I just want to see it!! Anyway, it's just another example of how pregnancy has changed since she was born; I had no idea of when the event took place or when she would arrive with such specificity!! "September" was about as close as I knew. Now, it's a science all its own.

But the result is the same; your life is never the same . Get ready, Erin and Gregg - life is about to take you on one grand adventure!