My sweet Andy -

Here's how his life is running right now: He gets up and gets himself and the cat ready for the day, then he comes in and changes my bandage while giving me a report on how the opening looks. A quick peck, and he's off. He works hard all day, unless he has to leave and drive me an hour into SA for a 5 minute (tops) check-up. He delivers me back at home and goes to the pharmacy to pick up my refill on darvocet (yum!!). He goes by to pick up my check, which isn't there - it was mailed- and then goes back to work. At 6:00, he leaves, and comes home; fixes me dinner - thank goodness for left-overs!- and goes to Bible study. At 8:30, he comes home, changes clothes and sits down in the recliner with his blanket. At 8:31, I hear snoring. No complaints, no glares, just taking care of life and me.

I love to hear him sleep. I love him.

Andy and I have a roadrunner! The kids have been after us to "replace" Smudge with a dog or cat, and Andy has been steadfast in his denial that our lives are not complete sans pet. So, the other day, when we drove up from somewhere, there stood this big roadrunner next to our driveway. It turned and ran into our backyard, and I figured that was the end of it. A few days later, Andy found it in the backyard, and went outside to look at it. It stood right there and just looked at him!

A couple of days later, my friend Jackie was over to visit, and there was the bird, right by my back porch step! We watched it walk around, and then it left. I think we've seen it once more.

Now, I'm not ready to name it or anything, but it is fun to see; I know, I'm easily entertained right now. I just hope I don't start hearing coyotes!!

Yesterday was not fun...

Before I had surgery, Andy and I went into town and saw "Letters From Iwo Jima" and really enjoyed it. There was one scene, though that really was hard to watch: the Japanese soldiers were choosing to commit suicide rather than be taken prisoner by the U.S. soldiers. They would pull the pin on their grenades and hold it to their chest while it went off. After my surgery, all I could see in my mind's eye was my incision blowing open like those guys. Well, yesterday, I thought it happened!

Andy was getting ready to go to work, and I was laying in bed. I decided to get up to go to the bathroom before he left, and when I got to the restroom, I looked down and saw blood all over me! To say I panicked is an understatement. He had to get me laid down and put toilet paper over me. He examined me and said I had a little opening in my incision about the size of a pencil point. Then, he called Dr. Massey; whose office wasn't open yet. We waited. The blood seemed to stop, and I fell back asleep. About 9:15, his nurse called and Andy explained what was going on - she said I was probably fine, but to take me to the er just in case.

What evidently happened was that I'd built up a pocket of fluid underneath my incision and when it burst, it came out through my stitches. I remembered later feeling a really hard lump the day before right where the opening was. The er doctor gave me antibiotics and sent me home. To say I lay still all day is an understatement; I was petrified. I go see Massey Monday for him to look at it, but things seem to be okay. He told us it would continue to leak out, but it hasn't been too bad. I was just really down, I felt it was a big step backwards in my recovery. I was glad to know, though, that it wasn't something I'd done to cause it.

So, for now, I'm still here. Dana's coming to spend the weekend with her mom (and dad), so that will brighten my spirits. I'm going to try to keep things together, and hope to get to worship tomorrow.

I"ll keep you posted!

So much food; so little appetite! One thing that is REALLY frustrating me is that nothing I eat tastes good. Some of the best cooks in our congregation are bringing us dinner, and cakes, and all I do is look at it and wish I really wanted to dive in. I hear that sometimes the anesthesia does in your taste buds, and my stomach isn't back to normal either, so those two things combined make eating a necessary evil rather than the best buddy it's always been.

But maybe that's a good thing; maybe I can hang on to this new mindset and work it to my advantage. HMMM - weightloss by apathy.

Well, tomorrow is a big day; Andy goes back to work, and I will be left home alone. Normally, just another day in the life of a teacher married to a non-teacher, but now I am recouperating from surgery. We are both a little apprehensive about how I'll do; the getting around isn't a big deal, it's just the up and down that is still "iffy". My friend Jackie is going to come get me and we have a small outing around lunch, so that will cut the day in half.

I'll miss having Andy around - he's been very helpful while still encouraging me to do what I can on my own to get my strength back.
He'll be off again for Spring Break, though, so that will be nice. By then, I should be way more back to myself!!

I know what I've been wanting to tell you about! My surgeon, Dr. Massey, was an interesting man. I guess you would have to be to deal daily with women who are facing life-altering situations and not go into deep depression. I was referred to him by my ob-gyn, who I've know since Dec. I asked him if he would let Dr. Massey operate on his own wife. Now I realize what a foolish question that was.

Dr. Massey is THE gynecological oncologist in SA; he's the one women doctors go to when they get cancer. He's been in practice a long, long time, and does things his way. (My incision is vertical; not the typical bikini cut, for example) His hair is a lovely gray GI Joe cut, and his humor is subtle, but charming. A name plate behind his desk reads:Dr. Massey - at your cervix. He's a brother in Christ, and everyone (save one) I told had only praise because of his care for them or a loved one. So, I went into his office full of optimism and faith.

When we reached the office the first time, the first thing we noticed was that the Christmas tree was still up. Odd, but it was just January. Lots of shiny tinsel, Santas, garland, all throughout the office. Well, the other day, when I went to get my stitches out, it was still there, and so I asked the lady. She told me they keep it all up all year - for the patients. I also found out that they have a big party once a year to mark survival for the cancer patients, and once, Dr. Massey showed up in a purple dress and red wig. For the patients.

So, I am not looking forward to the end of my relationship with Dr. Fred Massey after my March appointment. I'm greatful for his successful treatment, and I thank God the cancer is all gone, but I'd like to keep in touch with this interesting man. He brings laughter and joy to people whose lives need it the most.

A week after the deed, I am beginning to feel like Amy is still in the building after all. While anesthesia is a great thing, and I LOVED my morphine drip, I don't like the after effects; the nasty taste that won't go away, the cloud of haziness that hangs over your head, and the idea that - for a while - someone had total dominion over you. Today, I feel things are a little more "normal."

Thanks to everyone who has prayed, called, sent cards, worried and took care of my sweet family during this week.I have a new-found respect for that poor deer I see in the paper, shot and gutted, and two new seasons of Frazier to watch once I think I can handle the laughing. It's still a little early for that, though. I'm almost getting up and down on my own, but by day's end, it's pretty tough. A friend said, "rest, rest, and when you're tired of resting, rest some more." Think I'll take her up on that.

Well, Andy is waiting for me to join him for a movie. We're doing a lot of WWII stuff; I've got 3 weeks to do the chick-flick thing!!

Have a good evening!!

Finally! It feels like I haven't blogged in ages, and it's only been a couple of days!! Switching to the "new" blog system wasn't something my oldie goldie computer wanted to do, so it took longer than I had patience for on any given day. Today was the day to bite the bullet and move on!

We saw the surgeon on Monday. 9:30 am is blast-off, but Andy and I have to be there at 5:00 for a pre-op shot. Great. I live an hour away, so I may as well just stay up and visit with the kids until time to go.

I'm having little tiny waves of panic every now and then, but for the most part, and am calm and ready to go. I have gotten so much encouragement already, and things at school are about ready for me to leave. I've told all my kids, and most of them just wanted to know that I'd be back. This is one of my favorite groups of students I've had in a long while, and I'll miss them - after a while.

A co-worker prayed over me today - she won't be at school tomorrow, and she really, truly believes in prayer. If there is a cell or hospital worker, or anything that needed covering, she did it. I was honored that she asked, and would have been surprised had she not.

Well, it's time for us to leave for services. Tomorrow is liquids, only day, so I'm going by HEB to buy tremendous amounts of Coke and juice. Look out ladies, I'll be racing you to the one-seater in the Alamo!!

Until later - take care.

Well, now I wait. Yesterday, I had an EKG, lung ex-ray; and a C.T. Scan plus MORE bloodwork. My sub is set; most of my lesson plans are ready, people at church are arranging food for when I get home, and so I wait. A week from today, my surgery should be a done deal.

Everyone continues to be supportive and offer advice. "Hold a pillow over your stomach when you cough or stand up" - "Take your pain meds 30 minutes before they are due so you don't have a gap" - "Don't rush" and "Don't let them dismiss you before you are ready" are some of the things I've been told.

The C.T. scan was a little odd. I didn't like being in the donut hole while it whirled around me, sounding ominous. The doctor was way too young to remember, but it was eerily like the time portal in Star Trek, so I kept thinking I'd just disappear. I know technology is good, and I'm greatful to have it working on my behalf, but it did kinda creep me out. That and the dye stuff running through my veins so hot I felt like I was being microwaved! Well, I survived and hope all those images are clean and healthy.

Tomorrow, I'm going up to SA to buy a nice, new robe. A girl ought to get something new to wear, right?!?

Have a great weekend!!

I'm writing in purple today in honor of my daughter, Dana. She turned 27 yesterday, and so today we are doing an "Ode to Dana."

Everyone says their daughter is the best, and I say that about both mine at every chance, but today Dana really is. She has spent her whole life giving me things to smile about, think about, worry about, and dream about.

Her birth was a little scary, and so I think that on top of her being my first, when things settled down and we knew she'd be okay, that just did it for me (and her dad). My labor was eternal, and to help me rest, my doctor ordered Demerol. Well, I got it, but then the shift changed, and another nurse also gave it to me. Needless to say, Dana was really relaxed when she was finally born, and things were touch and go for a while until it all got out of her system. Being the novices we were, we had no idea till later how serious it was.

Well, now she is fine; intelligent, beautiful, complex, wise, caring, loving beyond reason, and fiercely independent. I shiver to even consider ever being that independent even at this seasoned age, yet she thrives upon it. I pale in her dust on just about every realm - I just hope I had a little something to do with how amazing she is.

I know, enough is enough - but looking back over her life, I figure she deserves a little glory, and it IS my blog!

So, here's to Dana's 27th year. Let's hope it has all to goodness of last year's, none of the pain, and more happy memories than she can imagine!

Thanks for listening to a proud mom.

Andy and I feel very strongly about dealing with things up front and honestly. I had to adjust to that, since my nature is to run and hide, especially when things get rough. So, Sunday night, after we'd talked to the kids about my upcoming surgery (Feb. 9 - hysterectomy), we "went down front" and Andy told our church family what is ahead for us. People were curious and asking questions, because they knew I'd had a "procedure" in Dec., and were concerned about the outcome. I'd not had a chance to talk to Dana, Erin and Gregg, so very few people knew what was up.

What struck me about the responses I got were just how very tender my brothers in Christ were. I was hugged and kissed by so many wonderful men, who had tender words of encouragement and love. It was almost more than I could handle - some I expected, but others truly surprised me by their openness. I won't ever forget that.

And then there were the ladies! My goodness, you'd think this was the best thing on earth!! Each one who'd been there was so upbeat and full of good advice, and that was good to hear, too. I really hope they are right; and that I feel better and get a clean bill of health soon.

So now you know, too. I hear I have the best guy in SA doing my surgery, and that his people re-coup faster and more completely than other surgeons. There are things I'm certainly dreading, but overall, I'm optimistic and trusting in the Lord.

I'd appreciate your prayers.

I'm a happy mom - all my kids and the grandpuppy are going to be here to celebrate the 27th anniversary of Dana's birth. We're having friends over, the food will be plentiful, and the games hilarious to behold.

Then, Sunday will be the first luncheon of the "new" eldership and their wives at the Hutton home. I hope it's the first of a tradition to help us bond and grow more in love with each other for the betterment of the congregation.

Well, I'm off to visit with Dana - yippee!!

Cool day in the life of a teacher, today. On Thurs., Andy leaves early to meet up with some of his buds for breakfast, so I just toodle on and treat myself, too. Usually, it's a breakfast combo at Sonic - great bacon- but for some reason today, I went to McDonald's. Drove up, ordered, then went up to the window.

As I sat waiting, I notice someone inside RUNNING over to the window toward me. It was Mario from years gone by; now a man. He had this great big smile on his face, and stuck his hand out the window to shake mine. "How are you?" he asks, as I sit grinning ear to ear. It's such fun to see former students who remember you! We visited just a minute, and I notice he has a string of dollar bills pinned end to end from his pocket. When I ask, he tells me it's his birthday, and before I can stop myself, I ask how old he is. 23 !! He looks just like he did, only a little taller; same goofy smile and twinkly eyes. I added a dollar to his stash, wished him happy birthday, and went off to school.

At 9:40, Jimmy comes in. He's the boy with the cartoon voice I've mentioned before. Well, we start class, and he is on a roll. Soon, he has us all laughing - forget reading, Jimmy's on. He's eating up our giggles, and it just feeds him more. I know, I should've been strict, and kept us on track, but so what?? For today, we had fun. Jimmy left feeling like the next great standup comedian of the world, and the kids and I had our highlight of the day.

This was a good day to be a teacher.

Human relationships are fragile at best. You take people, and you build a relationship with them; open your home and lives and vulnerabilities to them and they to you,and for the most part, it works out just fine. We "fit" together with some people better than others, and we choose to knit out lives together and it enriches our time on this earth. Outside of our families, our friends make everything better.

Then, the breach. The hurt and disappointment of human nature tears those threads all to pieces, and you want to give up on making those bonds again. The one place it can be repaired is in the Church.

Last night, I was watching some people that 10 months ago went through a terrible fracture in their relationships. Not only are they Christian brothers and sister, but long time work associates. The depth of hurt and anger was staggering, and yet now they are talking, hugging, fellowshipping and loving each other again. I know things will never be the same, but I am so glad that they've been able to repair what was broken. All I could think was, "only in the Lord" .
Only in Him could these hearts be mended. I am so glad and greatful that these weak humans allowed it to happen, and I hope they continue on their journey. It's a marvelous example to us all.

Hospital waiting rooms have to be some of the most depressing places on earth. Today, Andy and I were visiting with some friends whose sister was having a procedure done, and as we walked around, we came up on several waiting rooms, each full of family and friends waiting. Some were talking, some in their own world of worry and fear. Some were watching the t.v. that had CNN scrolling the same sound bites every 10 minutes, not even paying attention to it. A few were eating, some read. Not many made eye contact beyond the initial recognition that we were not who they were expecting, then the head went down again.

Once we found our friends, it was chit-chat. We got caught up on what was going on with their sister, and briefly spoke to her husband. I could tell he didn't want to listen to us - he soon went behind the door to see if he could be with his wife. His eyes showed tiredness and worry - eyes that I have seen twinkle in laughter pretty much all my life. That's the look of a hospital waiting room.

It made me aware that people just need someone there to sit and wait with them - to help the long hours pass by until the doctor pops in for two minutes to give you an update. It's not much to do - but so important. I hope we were able to comfort and give a little cheer to my friends today; such a small thing that can mean so much.

"Thy will be done."

So simple to say, and yet so pivotal in our lives. RIght now, it seems like lots of people I know and love are at turning points in their lives, as am I, and I want to pray for them. At 2:30 this morning, as I sat on my bed and listened to Andy sleep, I prayed so specifically for people and circumstances; and when all was said and done, all I could end with was that phrase - "Thy will be done." It seemed to give me peace to just hand it up to the Father, and I lay down and slept the rest of the night full of the knowledge that He IS in control and that all my worries and desires to be the one in control are now in the hands of my God.

Now comes the wait. What will His will be, and how will my loved ones fare in the process? Like the old song we sang on Sunday night says, "There's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, than to trust and obey."

A plumber just left my house. One of our showers was busted, and we needed an expert to come and look at it before the kids come next weekend :). So, my being off today was just perfect.

He was here less than an hour, and his labor was $80.00. He fixed my shower, so he did what I needed, but $80.00?!?! I do not begrudge anyone who works hard, and he told me he is about to go out and dig a sewer line in the cold drizzle, but still. I don't earn that an hour and how LONG have I been teaching the youth of America?!? Please - let me rant just a minute.

Well. I feel better; he's a nice young man (boy, that sounds OLD) and I wish him well. I'll get over it. It's a teacher-thing.

Have a good day!

A brother as President? I'm intrigued by Barak Obama. I know, he's a Democrat, but he really has two big things going for him; he's running AGAINST Hillary, and he is a member of the church!! He's someone I plan to learn more about - I'm not above crossing party lines if the guy is right.
Wouldn't it be wonderful to have someone of like mind running the place when Bush is finished with his term? I know, he's young and inexperienced, but you gotta gamble sometime.

I found an article about his spiritual awakening when I googled him today. It's from Time magazine, and I found it pretty interesting.

Of course, I'd vote for Elvis before I voted for Hillary!!

Have a good evening.

Today was a nice, quiet day; naps interspersed with phone calls from my lovely daughters and 4 hours of "24" season premier. No fire - Andy even got the wood out for me last night - but still a lovely day under a light blanket. I don't relish the idea of making the day up, but seeing the ice sculptures on my trees and bushes made up for the cable being out.

I hope everyone was warm and safe; able to stay in and be happy. It does remind us of how lucky we are not to live where this is not months long.

Have a great evening!

This was supposed to be an easy week at school; Monday off for MLK Day, then school 3 days, then Friday off for the county Stock Show. Lots of kids here show animals for scholorship money and it's a big deal around here. Then, the weather changed. Today, we had 178 kids out, and the weather got worse as the day went on. We dismissed early and then came home to wait and see. Now, we find out we will not have school tomorrow. My guess is we will now go back for classes Thursday and Friday.

I already had Friday planned. I was going to head to San Marcos mid-morning and meet up at Dana's school. Have lunch in the cafeteria, meet her co-workers, spend a little time with her kids, and head back. Really was looking forward to the time over there, but now I guess those plans will be delayed. I hope I have another chance before the year is up.

Our oleanders in the back yard look like Donald Trump's bad comb-over! The ice on them has caused part to lay over to the right, and the rest to fall over to the left. Funny what you think of, isn't it??

Andy doesn't have to go in until 9:30, so we're up a little later than usual. He's already brought in wood for a good fire tomorrow, so I"m set. I've got the season premiere (4 hrs.!!) of "24" to watch and bar-be-que chicken strips for lunch, so I"m good to go. I just hope the power stays on!!

Well, stay warm, and drive safely. This global warming weather is pretty dangerous out there!!