April, then May....

It's not just me... people all around me (who just happen to also work at school!) are already doing the count down. "Two months!" "9 weeks, 1 day" "only 9 more Mondays!" Now, having the year I've had, I thought I was especially early on the count down, but oh, no!

It's not that we don't like our jobs - school is a great place to be - but I think as the stress grows more and more daunting, we look for Summer as our only positive. It is a taste of the life we would really prefer having year-round. School used to be lots of fun and we even mourned that day when the bell rang and the kids walked away for the last time. Now, we race them to our cars.

So, here's my take - 43 days to go!

It's that same ol' feeling

Do you ever FEEL a place? This morning, as I drove to school, I "felt" Tulsa, Okla.
It's the weekend of the Soul Winning Workshop, and as sure as I was up there, I felt the air, the anticipation of getting to the Fairgrounds, the excitement of seeing Christians from all over the US gathered for 4 wonderful days, and of course, the singing. Thousands of voices in glorious harmonies, filling the Pavillion and rocking the place at the same time.

I have such wonderful memories of the Workshop - and though the last time I went without Andy I said I'd never go without him again, I'd be there right now given the chance. Drat not having personal days to take off!! Being there is a place that bonds you with the people you go with, the Pursches, Huttons, Bryans, Mainords, Ray, and of course, Andy and my girls. A little preview of Heaven....

So, they'll go on without me this year, but my heart will be there - and it FEELS wonderful!

moving

Gotcha - not us!!

I have twins that I work with that came at the beginning of the year. Really irritating, obnoxious little 4th grade girls who know how to push every button on me and all the kids around them. They are always amazed at how the other kids treat them, and I try really hard to not permit their cruelty, but IF YOU KNEW these girls, you'd "turn the other cheek." Anyway, about a month ago, they announced they were moving to a new home and changing schools to a nearby district. Needless to say, the kids have been counting the days. I will say, I was struck when the more likable of the two said, "I've learned a lot here, and I'm going to do better in --------. It's a new start for me." Unfortunately, her sister hasn't caught on. Well, after Spring Break, they're still here, and it was hard to mask the look of disappointment on the kids' faces. They both assure us that Friday is their last day.

Now, today, my buddy Jimmy (the boy with the cartoon voice) tells me HE'S moving to San Antonio. His mom's "friend" is ready for them to come up there, and even though she'd told him they'd wait until school was out, she plans to go the end of the month.

How differently I feel about these two situations !! I'd be losing them to the Intermediate campus next year anyway, so my time was limited, but this is sad to me in that I won't see him at Wal-Mart or HEB - and it makes me think about people coming and going out of our lives all the time. There are some folks I'd never get over losing in my daily life, and others that are just a blimp on my screen.
Like the twins - I hope they find a new start, with people who will love them like I love Jimmy. They deserve it.

The older I get...

A student told me today that they moved to Pleasanton because his dad was getting too old and not doing his job well (sound familiar?!?), and without a pause, he adds, "Like he's 49 or so, maybe 51." Now, you can imagine my reaction - unless he's a San Antonio Spur or a professional ice skater, I'm thinking this is NOT that old. I didn't tell him my age.

Speaking of my Spurs, I've been pretty worried about their play-off standings. Those are some of the most fun nights I have, with my buddies and me and all cheese dips and chips we can eat. Sure, I want them to repeat for a back-to-back, so I'm holding my breath and being optimistic.

It was a good day today.

The end is in sight!

Next to my computer, I have a calendar. I love to look at calendars, especially when something cool is on the horizon and I can count down the days. I used to especially love March calendars, for they held promise of Spring Break and trips to Tulsa Workshop. This year, Spring Break stands alone, and I am resigned to that.

However, when I looked at the calendar, I saw something new to look forward to - 9 weeks of school. 9 - single digits until this most difficult of years is over. I always look forward to the end, but after this year, I am even more so. This year has had such difficulty embedded in it that on some days, I can scarely breath. It has been, other than my year at Jr. Hi, just about the worst.

But I can do 9 weeks. I can - and will - continue to go and do what I love most about my job; give my kids all I have. We both deserve to finish this year with my best. I hope you'll pray that it's a quick and painless time.

Spring Break Monday

Spring Break Monday. Home alone, quiet house, working on the computer. Some of my coworkers are at the beach, some skiing, some elsewhere visiting family and doing cool things.
I want to be home, today, "catching up" with rest, shows I've taped, and emails I've not written. Later in the week, Andy will be off, and we will go somewhere just the two of us. I need it - some of that romance Darla mentioned last week.

Till then, I'll be thinking of my two girls - each dealing with events in their lives that I've gone through and know things will work out just fine. Moms just have to sit by sometime and listen and love from a distance. They know I'm here.

YES !!

The bell has rung, the children are gone- Spring Break is here! Dana is coming home for a few of the days, so that will be nice, but I'm looking forward to Monday - I'll be home alone with movies and whatever I want to have for lunch. Most of the week will be quiet, which is what most of my co-workers are planning too.

I'm not saying I wish we were going somewhere, but things didn't work out that way. I'm thinking BIG road trip this summer, though. (Andy isn't even in on my ideas just yet :) !!!)

For those of you who are also teachers, enjoy your days off !! April and May are still to come!!!!

Secrets

Had a great visit in Houston with the kids; wish I could go stay some over Spring Break, but Erin and Gregg both work, and Dana will be coming home, so I'll just have to wait till Summer... (hint, hint!)

The last week or two, secrets have become a big part of my life. It's like the good and bad of humanity has landed in my head, and asked me not to talk about it. As an elder's wife, we are priviledged to counsel people when they are down, and I feel Andy and I are a good team at that, but it's hard to learn things and not let them effect you. You have to take what is given, help the person process it and reach closure, and then drop it without dwelling on what they have shared. It's tough. Being uninvolved is much better on the heart, sometimes.

And then, there are good secrets - ones that will come to light in all good time. Ones that restore a little of that lost faith in people.

Have a good evening!

News from HOUSTON

Greetings from Houston - Erin and Gregg did good on the house! Lots of neat touches and they're already busy making it their own.... Roarke has lots of room to run and play, and two empty someday grandkid rooms, just waiting. Right now, we are using one of them, and look forward to lots more visits.
Andy loves the backyard; you can probably handle it with a weed-eater. Very pretty landscaping and cozy feel. Tonight we are going to take Andy to Carabbas - the original - and stuff him full of Italian food.
The weather is lovely, and my kids are here with me; overall, a nice day in Houston!

Poor, dumb trees !

Well, it never fails. A few weeks ago, I noticed the ash trees on campus budding out. It was still February, for goodness sake!! Well, today, winter is back with a vengeance, and the ash trees are shivering in their trunks!! This crazy Texas weather!!

I hope you are warm and cozy where you are!!

From the mouth of 4th graders

Today was the TAKS writing test for 4th graders. My assignment was a group of 6 mainly dyslexic students and kids that would "disrupt" the regular class. It makes for a long, long day, and I'll be heating left-overs for Andy.

To show the mood, here's a quote from one of my boys. "Mrs. LaMore, I really hope we get a new governor, so we can quit taking these tests!!"

Oh, Taylor. If it were just that simple.

Notes of Encouragement

I love to encourage people. It takes so little time and effort, yet the rewards are instantaeous and true.

Yesterday, I wrote one of my dyslexia student's mom to tell her how very much I enjoyed her son's manners. In the days of teaching, 2008, you hear a lot of "Huhs?" and "Yeahs" and "Idunnknows". This little fella is almost - well, I guess he is if I took the time to write his mom - out of the ordinary with this politeness. And it doesn't make him wierd! I guess that it truly what makes him stand out; he is an active, goofy little boy who could handle his own in any social situation.

I wrote his mom because she is actually his "step" - not a rarity in any school, and she's only been in his life about 3 years. I told her to feel good, that all the work she's pouring into this little man is paying off even when she's not around. In no time, I had an email back, so happy was she to hear from me.

That made my day - a happy mom made so by 5 minutes of my time. What better thing could I have done with that 5 minutes?

Thoughts on Lent, Fasting, and Sacrifice

There's been a lot of talk around me lately from people who've chosen things to "give up" during this Lenten season, and I've been doing quite a bit of introspection into my own life. My own choices and decisions. My own sacrifice.
What I've come to realize is that I'm not in the mood to deny myself. I've hit a spot in the road that is not willing to put something I love aside even in the desire to draw closer to God.
Right now, I'm just about dealing with myself and my daily walk. Sounds kinda depressing to me, now that I see it, but maybe it will pass soon.
I'm proud of all of you who are disciplining yourselves - you are my role-models. Keep it up and grow stronger. I'll catch up with you later.

Farewell, Scary Bear !

My mom went through a phase with QVC where she bought porceline dolls that looked like family members and mechanical "robot" animals. We had the gray furry cat with a Santa hat, a little girl with arms that waved to "decorate" the Christmas tree, a tall Easter bunny wearing a straw hat and SCARY BEAR !

A few weeks ago, my family had a garage sale, and out came the robots. The gray cat's head was deformed and the little girl had mold on her face. The Easter Bunny no longer moved, but went for $5 because he still looked cute. Scary Bear went, too. Before we could get a picture of the girls with him for posterity's sake, he was gone. He was a tall brown bear wearing a red striped nightgown and holding a candle to see with. He usually stood by the grandfather clock in the living room, his arms making a scraping noise as they moved back and forth. I never knew how the girls hated him, although they loved to torment their cousin Casey with him each year. Once they 'fessed up about being afraid of him, of course Andy took great pleasure in leaving him in new places to catch them off guard. I never did figure out what made him so scary to two little girls. Now, he is gone.

Just goes to show you that you never know how things will affect a kid until they grow up and tell you!

A Goose-Bump moment

I think I'm mentioned Naythan before. Wish I could post his little face for you to see; blond, babyish, missing all those teeth.
The students have been issued id tags made of hard plastic, and he's chewed or broken up his second one since Christmas.

He comes to me for 50 min. daily with two other boys for dyslexia services. They read circles around him, and when I first met him in August, he was not able to sound out three letter words. Led, dog, you get the idea - it was torture. Going to the library went like this: "Naythan, are those your books?" as he stand there with Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings or some other nonsense. "Yes ma'am, I'm not going to read them anyways, so I may as well look like I can." Reading was just not something he ever thought he's do... and I was just about convinced myself.
Well, we got him tested for more services - he qualified as LD and Speech. His mom and I sent tag phone messages, and notes in the planner with things for them to work on, and lo and behold, yesterday happens.

We go to the library. Naythan and his buddies split off from me, and begin looking. I wait. Eventually, Naythan comes and sits by me with Green Eggs and Ham. He opens it and begins to read to me. Sentences. Multi-word sentences. Not every word is perfect, but I'll take it. My eyes begin to water - those pesky allergies - and Naythan looks at me for assurance. I wanted to grab that little kid and kiss his face all over. Naythan read....

I've never liked Dr. Seuss and his convoluted stories with made up words, but that book read by Naythan was the sweetest book I've heard in a long, long time.

Two out of three??

On Thursday, I will go to Lola Fae's funeral; the second one in two weeks. Mom always said death comes in threes - I hope not in this case! I feel a real responsibility to attend these ceremonies - to honor the lives of those who have been a big part of mine. Not that I was that close to Lola Fae or Karo, it's just that we have a commonality of faith and a hope of the resurrection to come, and they led the way ahead for me.
I always wonder at funerals who will come to mine; what will people remember about me or say in my memory. Whatever it will be, I hope it's not for quite a while.

Karo and Becky

Some couples just have "it." Their love is visible and real to all who know them, and you can almost smell the connection between them. Andy and I have commented through the years about couples we knew that had "it," and some who you just couldn't figure out how they got together to begin with.
Karo and Becky had "it." You couldn't imagine one without the other, and their names had grown into one over the years.
At Karo's funeral on Wed., Ray said they'd been married 62 years. Together a lot longer than some people live. And now, Becky is alone. You know they talked about the day one of them would die and leave the other, and now it is here.
62 + years of hand holding, kissing goodnight, riding in the car together, eating dinner at the same table. At his visitation the night before his funeral, she sat beside him, just as I'd seen her do on countless occasions, and wondered how being alone will feel. I can't imagine....
62 years. Half of what I have had with Andrew. I feel like a bride!

Looking back and smiling

My firstborn turned 28 today - Happy Birthday, Dana Elizabeth! My labor was very long, and by the time she was born, the sun and risen and set again. Too much demeral almost took her from us, but we didn't know that until later; don't think about that much, but when I do, it shakes me to my core. She wonders why I say, "be careful" all the time, but I guess in the back of my mind, I'm remembering that.

She got to be the guinea pig, and there's really very little I think I messed up. I had so much fun playing with her and watching her learn and grow. I stretched one year at home with her and Erin into two, and almost bankrupted us with not teaching, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat to be with them every day.

I don't doubt that all moms think their daughter is the best, but I understand it more every day. To see what God does with a life given to Him is amazing, and while I miss the little girl Dana, I relish my time with the woman she is. Who knows what the future holds, right?!?

Truly empty nesters now

It began in Aug. of 1999, when Dana left for Lubbock. The empty nesting was upon us, as well as the adjusting to goes with it. Then, Erin left in 2001, and while our children were gone, there was still the responsibility of our cats, Smudge and Cinder.
We lost Smudge during December a couple of years ago, and now yesterday, Cinder died. She went into renal failure and the vet gave her at most a couple of weeks. So, we did the humane thing and put her to sleep. The vet assured us that we can get another good cat from them as soon as we are ready, but I think we'll pass.
She was a good kitty and did a fine job of keeping moles out of the yard. I'll miss her, probably not as much as Andy, but we'll be pet-loose and fancy-free for the time being.
Maybe we'll wait for grandchildren !!

Rest in Peace, Jennifer

In the Spring of 1990, I was teaching an MR class at the Elementary. There were enough students for two classes that year, and the other teacher had been there since Adam. As school was drawing to a close, I was informed that since the majority of the two classes were moving on to Jr. Hi, my position was no longer necessary, and I would be going on with them. That year was eternal, high-lighted by the death of my dad. (In Feb. of that year, Andy told me I could flip hamburgers in the Fall rather than go back to Jr. Hi. Another story for another day.)
Each day of that year, I walked myself to my classroom chanting, "May will come, May will come." The day was spent working with emotionally disturbed 8th graders who disliked me only marginally more than I them, and I felt my life a waste of time, at least professionally.
Except for Jennifer. I read today that she is dead at the age of 30. I wept.
For one period a day that year, 3 students made me smile.
Trey - a long, skinny, talented boy, Amy - a poised, warm, knowing young lady I still see around town, and Jennifer. She was funny and bright, and kept me from killing a kid or two. I lost track to her until just a few years ago, when I came upon her on campus, picking up her son. She looked just like she did all those years ago, and smiled and hugged me tight. Over the next couple of years, we'd see each other and visit a minute, and it was so wonderful to see how things had turned out for her. And now, she is dead. It takes the air out of my lungs to
type it. How - do I even want to know? I almost hope it was a disease or accident rather than something more horrible - does that even make sense?!
She leaves behind two pre-teen sons.