My stuff

I just read an interesting blog about "stuff".  The point of the blog was that we spend a lot of time accumulating things that have meaning and sentiment to us - a "story" if you will.  The author of the blog makes the point that it is hard for us to face the fact that our children will not necessarily feel the same attachment to the things that are meaningful to us, and we need to find a measure of understanding as to what that will mean.

My curio cabinet that Uncle Buddy refurnished.
My Grandma Annie's rooster cookie jar.
The rag doll my beloved Mamaw made for me.
Margaret's few remaining pieces of pottery.
Daddy's christening gown.
Andy's ticket stub collection.
His albums... oh, his albums.
    the list goes on....

Two things along with this blog really hit home with me.  One was the move of my in-laws to Assisted Living a couple of years ago.  My father-in-laws books bought with so much anticipation listed and boxed up.  My mother-in-laws teacup set donated to the Ladies' ministry at their church.

And this week, walking through Elaine's house.  She was everywhere, but she was gone.  Her dolls, her owls.  Her paintings. Her photographs.  When I got home, I walked through my own home with new eyes.  Someday - hopefully not TOO soon - my things that I love will be left behind for Dana and Erin to sort through.  The reality makes me both happy and sad.   I am sure there are things they will treasure, and I am sure there are things that, while they mean a lot to me, will not mean so much to them.  Just as it was with my own parents....

Let's just say, it was a blog that spoke volumes to my heart.

Holding God's hand

Today we will bury my cousin Elaine. She is the third cousin to die in recent years way too soon.  I'm not ready....

"Time is filled with swift transition...
naught of earth unmoved can stand
build your hopes on things eternal-
Hold to God's unchanging hand.

Trust in Him who will not leave you
whatsoever years may bring
if by earthly friends forsaken
still more closely to Him cling.

When your journey is completed
If to God you have been true
Fair and bright the home in Glory
Your enraptured soul will view."

Earlier this week, I was in Tomball with Erin. We went to the outlet mall, and Bladen wanted me to "hold you" - carry him.  Now, he is a big boy, and Nana usually doesn't carry him, but he was feeling hesitant and not secure so finally we talked him into walking alongside me and holding my hand.  As we made our way through all the stores, I noticed he felt safe and relaxed. Nana had him.

God has Elaine's hand.  Today she is reunited with her son lost in 1970 in his infancy, with her parents and many other loved ones who made the journey before her. And she will wait for us to join her

"Trust Me, Amy. Hold onto My hand and I will make you safe and secure. When you are lonely or sad or you lose someone you love I will be there.  Hold to My unchanging hand. "

A new take on Monday mornings

Mondays.

For 29 school years, it was - for the most part - a day I dreaded.  Coming off a busy weekend, it was going back to work.  Some weeks I was prepared, some - not.  It signaled to me the starting line of another race to Friday, full of hustle and bustle until I would again be given a chance to be at home with my family and relax.

What a difference retirement makes!

Here I am, at my computer, blogging.  In my robe.  After catching up on the Spurs activites of the weekend on Sports Center and NBA Gametime.  The house is quiet, the pace is slow.

Most Monday mornings, now, I wake up in time to tell Andy "bye" as he leaves to  begin his week at the office.  He will tell you that he is not ready to be retired, that he still enjoys his job.  I'm glad for him.  But I am not a morning person, and I do not get up with him - he has his routine, and my getting up with him is not "fun".  So,  in my own time, I get up and begin my own Monday.

At home.

Alone.

My mom was such a hermit.  She loved her time alone in her house.  She told me that she would have been just fine living in a hut off somewhere where she could be creative and come into town if there was something she needed.  I never got that.  Now, in this place in my life, I do.

I feed my birds.  I write notes and cards.  I water my plants. I check email and Facebook.  I read. Sometimes, I do errands, like I will later this morning.  But not right away. 

After raising the girls to be the strong women that they are, this is "my time."  That's something else I never got when women would say that.  But the freedom to spend my Mondays as I like is one of my favorite things.

Our weekends are full of things I love.  My time with Andy when he is away from his work is something I would never trade.  And someday, he'll be retired at home with me.  I'm not sure what that will be like, but I'm sure it will be something we enjoy together.

But, for now, I am relishing in the fact that after all those years of being the best mom and teacher that I  could, I have come to a place in my life where a lot of the pressure is off.  I have no one to answer to as far as my time other than God and what Andy needs me to do.  Having never considered that, I find it is at times its own best reward.  My spirit is at peace, my body calm.  I am flexible in that I  can do things as I am called on to do without working about a schedule.  And it is glorious.

I'm loving my life right now!