Is it just my imagination, or what?!?!

Bees, bees, bees!!

A few weeks ago, Dana called to tell me that she'd been having trouble with bees getting into her apartment somehow. Just a few at a time, but enough to be worrisome. So far, no exterminator has come, so she just keeps waiting.

Ever sense, bees are everywhere!! I hear about them on the news, I read about them in the paper, and I watch television shows where they are being moved by a bee-keeper! Now, today, I'm watching a show on my computer, and there's a guy who's allergic to - wait for it - BEES! He wakes up in this cabin with one on his face, and millions flying all around. I can't escape them!!!

Next thing I imagine is a reality show on Bees!!

Decisions, decisions!!

What to do?!? Everyone is interested in finding out my "plans" for retirement, and to be honest, I haven't got a clue!! It all happened so fast, the even idea of it being a reality truely hasn't sunk in yet. It just all feels like Summer time to me; the same summer I've had for 29 years. I know that, come August, I will have to make some decisions, but for now - well - I'm enjoying my lazy, quiet, stay-home kind of days.

I'll let you know what I decide!!

Lessons learned

I was 25 when I had Dana, 28 when Erin was born. A few years later, I had baby fever again, but - well, Andy didn't, so we were a happy family of 4. I took the business of raising the girls very seriously, and really tried to enjoy my time with them as they grew into toddlers, little girls, preteens, and yes, even teenagers. A wise woman told me, "Enjoy each age you go through, for each one does have it's advantages." And so I tried. We played, colored, sang, built, etc. as each season rolled into another.


Yesterday, I went with Jackie and the 5 little ones to Burger King. We had a wonderful time, laughing, waving, even comforting one who got scared when she couldn't find her sister. It was a happy, peaceful time with my friend.

Now, today as I reflect on that visit, I wish I had Dana and Erin back again for just one day - to enjoy them again as little girls, learning life all over again; and I wonder if I could do it "better" with the wisdom of years. I know I would be more patient, and slower with my demands; but overall, I think I did a pretty good job - they are wonderful, well-adjusted, God-fearing women in their own successful lives.

Sometimes, though, I just miss my little girls.

June 20

Wow - how can it already be the 20th of June?!?! This month is speeding by, and I know that the idea of my retirement hasn't sunk in, because I'm "worried" about how fast it is going!! June usually is a slow, restful month, but I guess with all the activity of getting the retirement set up and church activities, the days are whizzing by. Dana comes in on Wed. for a few days, and then, the month will be done. The nice thing is, we're seeing a better picture of how retirement is going to go financially, and Andy is feeling better about it. We know there's a difference we are facing, but thanks to Dave Ramsey, we are in better shape than we would've been... well, I just wouldn't have been able to even consider retiring now, so - thanks, Dave!!

Facing One's Biggest Fears

My first memory of going to the dentist was in 4th grade. I was sitting in a dark library at school, watching a black and white film about bears, when my nerve became exposed somehow, and I ended up on the floor in extreme pain. Mom came to get me, and they drug me into my great-uncle's office, where he proceeded to hold me down and yank out the offending tooth. It marred me for life...
Over the course of my adulthood, I have gone long stretches of my life with seeing a dentist and taking care of my teeth. Now, I am 55, and am truly paying the price for that neglect. "Happy Pills" and nitrous oxide have become my friend, but up until yesterday, I'd avoided at all costs (my teeth, usually!) the dreaded Root Canal.

I cannot tell you how paralyzed I was yesterday as I waited for the appointment. As much as I tried to keep thinking of other things, I was unable to remove that fear from my mind. Even as I entered the office, I was frozen. While the process was uncomfortable at some points it was not nearly as painful as I imagined!! I'm sure the full dosage of "happy pills" helped, but I think my dentist's gentle touch had a lot to do with it also. I came home with no pain. None!

So, now I can face the other one in a couple of months, knowing I will save my tooth and live to tell about it.

I'm really proud of myself!!

An odd observation

So, today started with a list of items to accomplish - starting off with meeting with the head of Human Resources to discuss my retirement and get the financial end of it going. After arriving late - I'm NEVER late anywhere ! - we got going. Things are looking like it's all falling into place, and I go to Austin on Wednesday to finalize things.

I go to the bank next, to get copies of our birth certificates, and as I wait, I see that the doctor who delivered me, and is LONG gone, never signed my birth certificate. This begins to bother me; am I alive or not?!?! What are the legal ramifications of not being legaly legal?!? Am I like a television series that ends in a snowglobe or someone's imagination??

Silly, I know. But certainly gave me pause on this hectic morning!!

It is Finished

There are few things that I think people look forward to more than retirement. I'd always figured that I would anticipate mine for a whole school year and leave with hugs and tears from students and co-workers alike.

I "retired" almost a week ago, and it was nothing like that. It was quiet, and tearful, and -yes, freeing. After finding renewed joy in my profession of 29 years, this year has shown me that I no longer belong. Is that an oxymoron or what?!? At the same time I find joy and feelings of accomplishment with my students and parents, I feel that I can no longer keep pace with the demands of current trends in teaching. I feel a dinosaur; even while "proficiently" carrying out the requirements of my curriculum. And so, when the Lord provided me a way to pay back some years of retirement, I knew it was time to go.

Andy and I are both apprehensive about this move financially - it's a few years ahead of what we'd planned, but we are together in it. When you are waking up at night with a racing heart, and dread your classroom door opening, it's no fun anymore. I looked at myself and saw someone I didn't recognize; in this past week, I see myself returning.

So. It is finished. I will find a little something to do to bridge the cash-flow gap, but I have no regrets. Well, maybe a few; Lexy, Riley, Robert, Dawson - you get my drift.

Teaching is the most rewarding occupation the world has to offer - I gave it my best shot.

Really can't complain

Each day, I check blogs - and I get disappointed when those I read don't have something new to read...

and then I check mine, and realize it's been over a week since I posted myself.

Oops.

School's almost over!! :)