The death of Bin Laden

Osama bin Laden has been all over the news this week; we would have missed the announcement that night if Erin hadn't called - surely one of those things you want to hear when it happens, not the next morning.

As I sat on the couch, listening to the news, I reflected back on events in my life that have caused all other activities to stop - Kennedy being shot, his brother and Martin Luther King, Jr. assassinated soon afterwards, the shuttle blowing up before our eyes, the Oklahoma City bombing, Columbine High School, and, of course, the 9-11 tragedies.

Enough. That's it. We have "closure" now, so let's just have no more of this!! With the exception of the shuttle explosion, all the rest of these events were caused by people who felt they had the right to change the destiny of lives of people far reaching those they murdered. Whatever gave them such delusions of power, that they could take these matters into their own hands? How do we stop more of this from happening in the future?!?

Lord, come quickly....

It is Finished

There are few things that I think people look forward to more than retirement. I'd always figured that I would anticipate mine for a whole school year and leave with hugs and tears from students and co-workers alike.

I "retired" almost a week ago, and it was nothing like that. It was quiet, and tearful, and -yes, freeing. After finding renewed joy in my profession of 29 years, this year has shown me that I no longer belong. Is that an oxymoron or what?!? At the same time I find joy and feelings of accomplishment with my students and parents, I feel that I can no longer keep pace with the demands of current trends in teaching. I feel a dinosaur; even while "proficiently" carrying out the requirements of my curriculum. And so, when the Lord provided me a way to pay back some years of retirement, I knew it was time to go.

Andy and I are both apprehensive about this move financially - it's a few years ahead of what we'd planned, but we are together in it. When you are waking up at night with a racing heart, and dread your classroom door opening, it's no fun anymore. I looked at myself and saw someone I didn't recognize; in this past week, I see myself returning.

So. It is finished. I will find a little something to do to bridge the cash-flow gap, but I have no regrets. Well, maybe a few; Lexy, Riley, Robert, Dawson - you get my drift.

Teaching is the most rewarding occupation the world has to offer - I gave it my best shot.

Jim Lassiter

Andy and I met Jim and Faye Lassiter in Huntsville during our dating/newlywed days. Their daughter, Theresa, ran in our Bible Chair group, and they were always around, or we were at their house. He was a grumpy, complaining sort of guy; Faye the charmer of the group. At first, he scared me.

Heart trouble ran in Jim's family, and we soon learned that Jim had retired because his cardiologist basically told him to "go home, sit down, and wait to die." Right. That was 1975ish. Now, he didn't run marathons, or eat crazy stuff with lots of fat, but he certainly didn't sit down. They served in everyway he could, loved his two daughters and grandson with all his - pardon the pun, - heart, and even outlived dear Faye.

After we left Huntsville, they began Soujourning with their camper. Faye began having strokes; small at first, becoming more incapacitating each time. We kept in touch with Christmas cards and on visits to Huntsville. And then, we heard that Faye died. Now the man she took care of all those years was alone. He kept going on Soujourn trips, and met and married Delores in 4 days.

We ran into them in Tulsa right after they married; they showed us pictures of the wedding; his two girls and her four boys. One happy family, and Jim was not alone anymore. They later moved to Kerrville, and we saw them a couple of times afterwards; they came to Gregg and Erin's wedding. People from Pleasanton that visited in Kerrville would meet them, and they'd always ask about us.

When their Christmas card came back this year, I got worried, but not enough to investigate, and I learned this weekend in Huntsville that Jim has died. They moved to Phoenix to stay with Delores' son, and he died there. We never heard.

While I wasn't truly surprised, it made me so very sad to learn we've lost Jim here on this earth. He always loved strongly, and told things boldly. I felt like his daughter when I was with him. I know he is at peace, but I will miss not seeing him again.

Andy has 5 men he considers mentors in his Christian walk; Jim was one of the first.

I just do not believe this -

The majority of my teaching career, I worked with a wonderful woman, Billie Maderer. She loved me, respected me both personally and professionally, and she trusted me to make the right decisions. I felt happy and competent at school.

Then, Billie retired.

On of my co-teachers was named her replacement, and so began our relationship on a new level. Soon, it became obvious that I was not the same person in her eyes that I had been in Billie's. There were times when I felt old, tolerated, used up.

At the end of the year, Spring, 2008, I was transferred to another department with a new supervisor. I was no longer on the same campus all day; half day somewhere else, then there the afternoon. The new supervisor treats me with great respect and gives me freedom to do my job. My new co-workers and principal on the other campus are very complimentary and encouraging. I feel like I am returning to my old feelings of confidence, and I enjoy school again.

This week, I have learned that my new supervisor has been re-assigned. Her replacement will be my previous supervisor! I will once again be under the "leadership" of someone who I feel was more than happy to see me leave her staff. Now,instead having about 80 folks to focus on, she will have less than half that number. Great.

So... instead of ending my year with great enthusiasm about the Fall, I dread it. My summer will now be filled with concerns about the coming changes, and my attitude in how I will positively deal with them.

And then, I receive this quote from the mother of one of my 2nd graders: "I feel so blessed to have you touch the life of my son. It takes such special teachers to make a crazy mom relax, but I see your hard work everyday when he comes home proud and excited about overcoming his dyslexia. I will always hold a space in my heart for you."

I guess I will just try and focus on that -

One of the Spring's most highly anticipated events in my social circle is the NBA playoffs. We gather in each others' homes, finger-foods in hand, and enthusiasticallly cheer on our SPURS. We've been there through lop-sided victories, squeakers, and disappointing losses. We've been through 4 trophy-winning championships. It becomes our world for a few weeks....

It's time to begin, and the furvor was building. One man told me he built his new home with the gatherings in mind - a nice, open living area with a big-screen hanging above the fireplace. So excited....

Well. The SPURS made it in again, and our 1st round team is yet to be decided, but we are assured at least one series. Trouble is, it may (probably will be!) the only one....

Manu is out. I got the news yesterday that he is injured and will not play again this season. It was the second time that day I'd gotten disturbing news, and I cannot shake the funk I am in as I write this. No Manu.

No Manu.

RIP, ER

Last night, Andy had a night out with some of his best buds, and I stayed home to see ER's final episode. 15 years, and now, it's over. It was a good ending; not too sappy, and they did a good job of wrapping story lines up. All the hype over past cast members and speculation of who would show up and who wouldn't made it a a must-see at our house. I taped it for Andy, even cutting out the commercials, so I'm sure I'll watch it again.

I'd be sad, except in this age of multi-channel surfing and dvd sales, those characters I've "known" for all these years are just a click away. Dr. Green, Sam, Dr. Morris, Abby and her crazy mother, John Carter - all part of a great ensemble cast. Now, they're just television history.

It was good while it lasted!

Sad, but happy, news

In my job this year, I share a room on both campuses with another teacher. I have been blessed this year to get to know Johanna, and am looking forward to another year next year with her. No matter how long you teach, you always learn from another teacher.

At Elementary, I have shared my room with Patti for many years. I have grown to respect her professionalism and judgement, and we have shared students that have given us heartache and lots of laughs.

I found out this week that Patti is retiring at the end of this school year. I am so happy for her - teaching has changed so much, and pretty much all the fun is gone. You newbies out there who read this don't know the difference, but Patti and I do, and those few of us who are still around miss those days. With her going, the list of those around me from those days grows shorter. I think, on the Elem. campus, there are maybe 5 or 6 left. I'm beginning to feel like a dinosaur, and anticipating coming back is weak. I know I have to wait my turn, and I have a few good years left in me, but Patti going opens a hole in my world, and I'm not looking forward to breaking in a new roomie!

So - here's to Patti. To borrow a quote from the Good Book: "Well done!"

Truly empty nesters now

It began in Aug. of 1999, when Dana left for Lubbock. The empty nesting was upon us, as well as the adjusting to goes with it. Then, Erin left in 2001, and while our children were gone, there was still the responsibility of our cats, Smudge and Cinder.
We lost Smudge during December a couple of years ago, and now yesterday, Cinder died. She went into renal failure and the vet gave her at most a couple of weeks. So, we did the humane thing and put her to sleep. The vet assured us that we can get another good cat from them as soon as we are ready, but I think we'll pass.
She was a good kitty and did a fine job of keeping moles out of the yard. I'll miss her, probably not as much as Andy, but we'll be pet-loose and fancy-free for the time being.
Maybe we'll wait for grandchildren !!

Rest in Peace, Jennifer

In the Spring of 1990, I was teaching an MR class at the Elementary. There were enough students for two classes that year, and the other teacher had been there since Adam. As school was drawing to a close, I was informed that since the majority of the two classes were moving on to Jr. Hi, my position was no longer necessary, and I would be going on with them. That year was eternal, high-lighted by the death of my dad. (In Feb. of that year, Andy told me I could flip hamburgers in the Fall rather than go back to Jr. Hi. Another story for another day.)
Each day of that year, I walked myself to my classroom chanting, "May will come, May will come." The day was spent working with emotionally disturbed 8th graders who disliked me only marginally more than I them, and I felt my life a waste of time, at least professionally.
Except for Jennifer. I read today that she is dead at the age of 30. I wept.
For one period a day that year, 3 students made me smile.
Trey - a long, skinny, talented boy, Amy - a poised, warm, knowing young lady I still see around town, and Jennifer. She was funny and bright, and kept me from killing a kid or two. I lost track to her until just a few years ago, when I came upon her on campus, picking up her son. She looked just like she did all those years ago, and smiled and hugged me tight. Over the next couple of years, we'd see each other and visit a minute, and it was so wonderful to see how things had turned out for her. And now, she is dead. It takes the air out of my lungs to
type it. How - do I even want to know? I almost hope it was a disease or accident rather than something more horrible - does that even make sense?!
She leaves behind two pre-teen sons.

"...for whom the phone rings...."

My post today begins with the "the bell tolls for thee" reference, because of the way my day began.

Telephones are great inventions. Our lives today are not even fathomable (sp) without them. They bring the most mundane of news and the most wonderful news into our lives instantaneously. I think about the "olden days" when news traveled by letter or even word of mouth, and how things were said and done before we ever heard of the possibility. Now we take the cell phone into the bathroom with us in case we miss an "important" call. How ridiculous and dependent we have become.

At 8:39 this morning, my phone rang. Now people who know me know that 9:00 is the best time to catch me up and going, so I figured this had to be a telemarketer or something else. Instead, it was the secretary of my school, calling on the "phone tree." That meant at emergency. I learn from her that a co-worker's husband has had a stroke/annurism and that today they are taking him off life support. They are harvesting his organs for donation, and then she will become his widow. Good morning, Amy.

They live down the street from us, and I've worked with Mary Caroline for may years. She was very dear to me at the passing of my
mother. Their children are my daughters' ages. Now, she is without her spouse. Andy tells me he spoke to him on Sunday, and is shocked himself.

All over town today, the phones are ringing for Jim Chambers. Keep his family in your prayers as they face the coming days.