Dana's Story

First off, let me say "Happy Birthday" to my Dana. Here is her "story" -

Andy and I married in 1976. I was ready for a baby - he wanted to wait and spend time building our marriage. While I didn't like the idea, I wanted him to be as ready as I was (I thought!), and so I put my dreams on hold. Turned out to be a good idea!

3 years pass. Sweet times of friendship, intimacy, growing in the Lord and bonding as a couple. Exactly what he (Andy) knew we needed. The time came to have a baby... or so we thought. Things didn't work out as quickly as we'd thought, and months passed by. No baby. Temperature charts, documentation of monthy events, etc filled each day with drudgery instead of celebration.

Finally, one day as I'm leaving for school, I hand him a cup of fresh, morning urine and ask him to drop it by the doctor's office. Thinking back on it, what a fun thing to do after working all night! But he did, and told me later that he'd slept not a wink, anticipating a call. When I got home, he shared the news; a baby was on the way!! (This is WAY before texting and email!) It was time to celebrate!!

Our dear friends and neighbors, Mark and Shanon Tissue, treated us to a fancy dinner. She even broke out their wedding china which had never been used, and we dreamed big dreams of this new life.

Months pass; some slowly, others quickly. Soon, Shanon is pregnant also, with their daughter Meredith. (One of my most favorite memories is of Shanon coming home from school and coming straight over to our house and laying baby Dana on her large, round belly to "play" with the baby. Sweet, precious memory!) Showers are given, nursery is built, and in due time, the date arrives.

Mom and dad come over, and when we wake them to announce that we are heading to the hospital, Dad hops in the car with us for the ride over. I never, ever told him, but it was a little surreal to be going to have your baby with your dad tagging along... but I'm so glad he was there. He never left the whole time I was in labor.

And it was a LONG labor; 24+ hours. People came and people went. Other women came in and had their babies while I labored. Nurses' shifts changed, and still, no baby. Andy even went home at one point to get some sleep, only to be called back to help calm my mom down... and no baby.

The delivery went smoothly, but when they did the Apgar test on her, I noticed the nurses were not giving her the most glowing scores. They assured me, though, that the little whimper was just fine - but not the robust cry I'd expected from my newborn. They whisked her off to the nursery and took me to my room to get some rest... I was pretty tired.

The next morning, my doctor comes in. He tells me (Andy was still at home) that he'd like a pediatrician to look at Dana... just a precaution. Okay. Gullible me picks one (hadn't done THAT yet for some reason...), and off he goes.

Evidently, because of my history with asthma and the long, long labor, they'd decided to give me a shot of demerol. Fine. The problem came when the nurse didn't write the shot on my chart, and the next nurse who cared for me saw the order and gave me another shot - too close to the other one. I was fine, but Dana almost died as a result. Later, I found out from some friends from church that they had stayed all night at the nursery window, watching. Evidently, the nurses didn't let Dana sleep at all that night, for fear she wouldn't wake up.

A few days passed... I had to go home baby-less... and all appeared well. She was beautifully perfect and except for not wanting to eat a lot, all went well. At her 4 month checkup, the pediatrician drops the bomb that we needed to do a brain-wave test, because they wanted to make sure she didn't suffer brain damage because of the Demerol. That was the longest hour of my life... the perfect little girl in my arms may face a life of struggles because of a mistake.

Well, all ended up just fine. Dana was and is perfectly fine, thank you very much. She instantly was and remains a dream come true. God was good to protect her from harm, and every day on her birthday, I remember that day with joy and thanksgiving. "What might have been" crosses my mind, but I quickly replace those thoughts with what IS and what WILL BE.

We enjoyed our baby with so much love and hope that, a couple of years later, Erin joined our little family... her story later!

Emotions

On Wednesday, I stood at the airport as Dana entered to fly back to Egypt. My throat was full with a big lump, and all I could think was, "She's gone again!" Watching her say goodbye to Erin, Liz, and Bladen was almost harder than saying my goodbyes to her - but I did without blubbering too much! ...

Years ago, Jeff Walling - a favorite speaker of mine - talked about how God was good to give us emotions. He talked about walking in on his wife as she was watching a "Tear-jerker" on tv. She was beside herself, crying uncontrollably while he watched. He left her there to finish the movie, and as soon as it was over, she came into the room with him like nothing had ever happened. The emotions of the moment had already passed....

As we drove away from the airport, with my daughter on her way across the ocean to a life I don't really fathom, I was full of emotion. Words were hard to eek out, and I really wanted to get Erin on track again after leaving her sister behind as well.

From behind me in the backseat, I hear Liz and Bladen being so funny; I laughed. It was what I needed. I still miss Dana in my "everyday life", but I know that those really sad emotions have moved on, and I can talk to her on Skype with joy and humor; thankful to God for his control over me and my emotions!

Dreams do come true

My daughter, Dana, has just had another birthday. She celebrated with friends, and her beloved Johnsons - our turn to celebrate will come in a few days. We did the traditional phone call "Happy Birthday" song, and her flowers were delivered.

I've been thinking a lot about the dreams we have for our children, and I guess this is as good a time as any to reflect. So, here go a few of this mom's dreams:

I dreamed of a daughter who would love and live her life for God and her Savior. No doubt that is true in Dana's case; she seeks to serve and worship Him with her whole being.

I dreamed that she and her siblings would be close. Watching her and Erin makes me so happy, because I know someday her Dad and I will be gone, and they will have each other. It's not so comfy, though, when they team up on us!!

I dreamed of a healthy child. So far, so good; not one trip to the hospital for this girl, although there was that nasty pencil lead trip to the ER once. No broken bones, either. And she's sky-dived, for goodness sake!!

I dreamed of a woman who would love children. You should see her with Liz and Bladen; no aunt does a better job. Her school children are blessed to be with her everyday, and she takes her job quite seriously. Her compassion to those children lonely and hurt is amazing.

I dreamed of an independent person who would not depend on others for making decisions on her own. Sometimes I worry that she's going into her dark apartment by herself late at night, but I am so grateful that she has so much to keep her life full and isn't sitting on the couch.

And I dreamed of a daughter that would value good things in life, like music, sunsets, museums, yummy food, and mountain tops.

I dreamed of Dana.

"and Mary kept all these things in her heart."

This is one of my favorite quotes of the New Testament, referring to the life of Jesus, His mother Mary witnessing things and holding them in her heart forever. I've thought of it often during the years as Dana and Erin grew from little babies, to toddlers, to teens, and even now as women. I love to observe them and tuck away little things that are special in my "mom's eyes".

Last week was a good chance to add lots of those moments - I spent three days in Houston at the Johnsons' (don't I have a great son-in-law to endure me all those days?!?) and the joy of seeing Erin with her babies; to see her teaching Liz such little things as kissing her baby brother good-night, and "helping" fold clothes were just precious. I know I did those same things, but it didn't feel the same as watching her. I enjoyed Gregg coming in after work and getting "It's Dad!" from Liz; so full of excitement and love for her father and his joy at seeing his children. I even got to witness Dana totally enjoying her role as Aunt D as she shared chocolate pie with Liz and taught her to jump on the bed and fall in heaps of giggles. My heart just filled up time and time again.

So, even know, as I sit here at look at Bladen and Liz's pictures - I remember all those little things - Bladen doing his "pose" as he balanced himself on the floor - and it's almost as good as being there still.

Almost....

Is it just my imagination, or what?!?!

Bees, bees, bees!!

A few weeks ago, Dana called to tell me that she'd been having trouble with bees getting into her apartment somehow. Just a few at a time, but enough to be worrisome. So far, no exterminator has come, so she just keeps waiting.

Ever sense, bees are everywhere!! I hear about them on the news, I read about them in the paper, and I watch television shows where they are being moved by a bee-keeper! Now, today, I'm watching a show on my computer, and there's a guy who's allergic to - wait for it - BEES! He wakes up in this cabin with one on his face, and millions flying all around. I can't escape them!!!

Next thing I imagine is a reality show on Bees!!

Lessons learned

I was 25 when I had Dana, 28 when Erin was born. A few years later, I had baby fever again, but - well, Andy didn't, so we were a happy family of 4. I took the business of raising the girls very seriously, and really tried to enjoy my time with them as they grew into toddlers, little girls, preteens, and yes, even teenagers. A wise woman told me, "Enjoy each age you go through, for each one does have it's advantages." And so I tried. We played, colored, sang, built, etc. as each season rolled into another.


Yesterday, I went with Jackie and the 5 little ones to Burger King. We had a wonderful time, laughing, waving, even comforting one who got scared when she couldn't find her sister. It was a happy, peaceful time with my friend.

Now, today as I reflect on that visit, I wish I had Dana and Erin back again for just one day - to enjoy them again as little girls, learning life all over again; and I wonder if I could do it "better" with the wisdom of years. I know I would be more patient, and slower with my demands; but overall, I think I did a pretty good job - they are wonderful, well-adjusted, God-fearing women in their own successful lives.

Sometimes, though, I just miss my little girls.

Sunrise, sunset

When Andy and I got married in 1976, a couple we knew got married about 2 weeks after we did. The groom's younger brother was very ill, and his parents had recently gotten word from the doctors that the young boy - about 12 - would not live much longer. Their wedding was a strange mix of the extreme happiness of weddings and the realization that a dear family member was there for just a little longer. One of the songs they had in their wedding was "Sunrise, Sunset" from Fiddler on the Roof. In all those years, whenever I've heard that song, I've thought of that wedding.

The boy?

He's alive, healthy, married, and a dad in his own right.

Anyway, back to the song.

Today, as my first one turns 30, I think of the words to that song. It's a father's reflection of the life of his child as she has grown, and it's one of those songs that make moms cry, but today, I choose to think of it as a serenade of Dana's life.

Look at her - she is beautiful, graceful, loving, classy, funny, committed, passionate and above all, God's child. 30 years ago, this woman had no clue what was ahead in life for her, and - for the most part - it's been good and safe. For that, I am eternally greatful. Seeing her today with all of us was pure joy for this mom, and while it was short, it was sweet.

"Sunrise, Sunset, Sunrise, Sunset,
Swiftly fly the years.
One season following another,
Laden with happiness, and tears."

Here's to many more Sunrises and Sunsets, Dana. God bless you.

Camping with Dana and other highlites of the weekend -

For the second time in several weeks, Dana has been our hostess as we invaded Houston. She is a gracious, welcoming hostess, and shares her apartment with us openly.

As I look around at her life away from me, I see so much of her and what is important to her; friends, family, special times, God. (Perhaps I should not have listed Him last, for He is certainly not last to Dana!) Her home is comfortable and happy, filled with all the things that comfort and enhance her life. We appreciate her willingness to let us move in and stay a while!!

The weekend was memorable. Erin and Gregg put on quite a first party for Elizabeth, and she was a trooper!! Went to everyone and took it all in stride. While the concept of the candle was obviously lost on her, it marked for us a celebration of a wonderful year; first everything - tooth, sitting up, solid food, smiles; you name it, we celebrated it. And while my mother and father in law were not able to attend, you could see their legacy all around. Bladen, growing strong deep inside Erin, pointed to the future. It was a day all of us will hold on to.

The Johnson family was happy to be there; our lives have blended pretty well over these past 6 years. We are greatful to them for raising such a fine man as Gregg and for loving our daughter and welcoming her into their tiny (by LaMore standards of number!) family.

And then the weekend ended; too soon as usual. But we plan to return, November 7, for the shower awaiting Erin and Bladen. We anticipate his joining us very soon!!