Yesterday, Andy and I went to San Antonio to redeem some Christmas gift cards and have lunch (on a gift card! :) ) As we were walking out of Red Lobster, I said to him, "Today, I feel invisible in a good way!
Before, I was invisible in such a bad way. If you've ever see "Chicago" the musical, there's a song called "Mr. Celophane". In the movie version, John C. Reilly does it as a clown, on a dark stage, all alone. The lines that ran through my head were: "You can look right through me, walk right by me, and never know I'm there." That is the invisible me of before. Looking back now, 10 months and 8 days post surgery, I see in in a glaring fashion. I sought invisibility because of my weight and appearance... I hid in dark corners, on my pew, in a crowd of people because I knew what people thought when they looked at me. (That's another post for another day.... I'm trying hard to be positive in this one!! )
This new invisibility is NORMAL. I no longer "stand out" in a crowd ... I look like just another woman walking down the street. I can slide into a booth at a restaurant, or sit on a chair without needing to find a "sturdy" one that won't break if I sit on it. When people notice me, it's because I am smiling at them, or looking them in the eye and saying "hello." I blend in with the world.
It's crazy the things you "see" after this surgery. Who ever would have seen being invisible as such a GOOD thing?!?
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1 comment:
My mother is praying for a surgery of the same sort. It will be a great start for her in a new life that she is finding in Christ. Your post gives lots of hope! Thank you.
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