Grr, Grr, Grr. I've written, and for some reason, it's not posting. Not Pulitzer Prize stuff, mind you, but still... hopefully, this one will go through.
Yesterday was the "anniversary" of my father's death. 17 years. How could it have already been that long without him? I didn't at the time, but as days and years go by, with major life events coming and going, I feel cheated. When he died, I was relieved, because he was so badly injured and I didn't want him existing in his body without his quick wit and loving spirit around us, but now I know - he should have hung around a lot longer for us all.
I'm a lot more like my dad than my mom. In good ways and in bad, I am his daughter. He made me feel safe and while he was not a gushy kind of dad, I knew he loved me a lot. We did things -- just the two of us, and I miss that.
If I could talk to him today, I'd tell him how much I look forward to being reunited with him for eternity. He loved the whole idea of "church" and what it brought to our lives, and he was quite the song leader. Tempo meant nothing to him except sing it loud and sing it fast. I hear him in my head as I type these words. "Kneel at the Cross"....
Someday, I'll be a grandma, and I hope to Heaven that I'm as cool a grandma as Daddy was a grandpa. Cardboard boxes to play in and wagons to ride in. Swings to push high in the air! And lots and lots of whistling!
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1 comment:
In some ways it seems like yesterday but yet so much has passed since then. I barely knew him but remember him through you.
You will be the coolest grandmother!
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