Dreams do come true

My daughter, Dana, has just had another birthday. She celebrated with friends, and her beloved Johnsons - our turn to celebrate will come in a few days. We did the traditional phone call "Happy Birthday" song, and her flowers were delivered.

I've been thinking a lot about the dreams we have for our children, and I guess this is as good a time as any to reflect. So, here go a few of this mom's dreams:

I dreamed of a daughter who would love and live her life for God and her Savior. No doubt that is true in Dana's case; she seeks to serve and worship Him with her whole being.

I dreamed that she and her siblings would be close. Watching her and Erin makes me so happy, because I know someday her Dad and I will be gone, and they will have each other. It's not so comfy, though, when they team up on us!!

I dreamed of a healthy child. So far, so good; not one trip to the hospital for this girl, although there was that nasty pencil lead trip to the ER once. No broken bones, either. And she's sky-dived, for goodness sake!!

I dreamed of a woman who would love children. You should see her with Liz and Bladen; no aunt does a better job. Her school children are blessed to be with her everyday, and she takes her job quite seriously. Her compassion to those children lonely and hurt is amazing.

I dreamed of an independent person who would not depend on others for making decisions on her own. Sometimes I worry that she's going into her dark apartment by herself late at night, but I am so grateful that she has so much to keep her life full and isn't sitting on the couch.

And I dreamed of a daughter that would value good things in life, like music, sunsets, museums, yummy food, and mountain tops.

I dreamed of Dana.

One look...

When the girls were little, I'd spat their little legs, or their hands, to get my point across. I thought that was what moms do - or, did - and so I had no remorse about doing it. The girls grew up well mannered and don't seem any worse for the wear...

This past weekend, Erin and her children came to visit. Bladen was "eating" a grill cheese sandwich for lunch, and decided he'd had enough.
So, dead-eyeing me, he proceeded to hold his bite out over the side of the highchair tray as if to say, "Thanks, Nana. No more." Now, I've heard Erin and Gregg both say "No" to Liz and Bladen, so I felt like I could do it without much of a ruckus.

"Bladen, No!" I must have said it with my "teacher voice", because he sank back into the chair and had such a downcast look on his face that I wanted to crawl under the table and cry!! His eyes said to me, "Oh, Nana - how COULD you?!?!" For a good minute or so, he just sat, beaten down like I'd taken away all his little spirit. I had to try several times to tickle his little fat toes, or jiggle his leg, before he'd even crack a little smile. I made it up to him the rest of the visit, and I think he's forgiven me.

So - I hope I never forget that little face whenever he needs guiding again. It's just not in me to make that little man look like that again!!

Reflections of another year

Today is my 56th birthday. I was up from 3:15 to 5:20, both reflecting on last year's events, and anticipation some of this coming year. Ugh - I'm really needing those lost hours about now!

Since my birthday is so soon after Christmas and New Year's, I rarely make resolutions when everyone else is... I'd just have to do it again a few days later. This year, not so many to make, but good things are in the works. Andy and I will celebrate 35 years of marriage in May, and hope - really, really hope - to mark it with a trip to California to drive the California Coastal Highway and attend my nephew, Casey's wedding. We will see how that pans out, with the state budget fixing to take a big hit, though.

In February, we will mark one year since Mom fell. I can't tell you how that one day has changed the whole tenure of the LaMore family, from Bladen, the youngest, to Andy - her oldest son. The mom we knew and loved so is no more, but we enjoy every day we still have her. Dad has suffered the most, of course, and we've seen it's toll on him.

I think that sometime during this year, I will need to take some sort of job. Maybe not full-time, and maybe not school-related, but something. While I truly enjoy this life I have now, in reality, we were not financially prepared for me to stop work and take in less money. I hope things will work out, though. It already has in so many ways.

I guess one of the best things is that, for the majority of days, I am no longer angry at the principal who set this all in motion. I don't like the way I felt about her, and I'm glad it's gone. Her loss....

One thing I know for sure, I love my husband exponentially more now than ever. Ever. He fills my heart just by standing beside me as we worship God together, or holds my hand as we watch a movie. I adore him, and up until recently, I thought I knew what that all meant. Now, I do.

The last thing that I'll share is that, after 55 years, I truly feel the little invisible girl is gone. (I mean me. My imaginary friend left long, long ago!!) My brother once told me that the middle child was often invisible in a family, and that knowledge made so many things clear to me. But this year, I have really felt - and, I don't really know how to put this into words, - needed. Valued. Anticipated. Missed when I'm not around. Two specific things opened my eyes - an encouragement card, and a comment. Just a comment made by someone. She has no idea of what that meant to me. Both of these events actually scared me, because of the realization that people SEE me, watch me, and value my role in their life. Amazing what that did for me.

So, here comes 56. It's a full day, fun stuff awaits. Life is good, thank you very much!! And before I turn around, here will come 57. Who knows what I'll post about then?!?!

So many things!

I wish I'd been more self-disciplined these last few days, as I have a lot to post . My year-end countdown, by Christmas holidays with friends and families, my New Year's frivolity, the Johnson anniversary, the Spurs, and so on. It has been a busy season, and it's hard to get it all into words.

Many trips to Houston for wonderful events; Matt and Summer's wedding, B's first birthday, Liz turning two.... Christmas Eve with the family and Christmas Day. Delicious times with the LaMore clan - thankfulness for Mom's continued improvement - a game with nephews I rarely get to interact with.

So, as 2011 begins, suffice it to say that I am a contented, happy woman. Andy shows me more and more how truly much he loves me (maybe he always has and I just didn't see it!), and my friendships grow dearer to me with each passing day. My daughters and sweet son give me hope for a great future for them all.

To quote a line from the movie "Hope Floats," my cup runneth over. May I never forget how God has blessed by life with His goodness.

So, to you and yours, a Happy, Healthy, and Fun 2011.

Now, if those Spurs will just bring home Banner 5!!!