In about 10 minutes, it will be July. Half of summer will be officially over, and I don't have just a whole lot to show for being out of school for a month. It took probably 3 of the weeks to reach the point where I would wake up feeling rested and like I'd slept enough. People who don't teach don't get how exhausting the end of school is -

Rain is predicted for the weekend. Really - again? We were teased last week with the same rumors, so I've quit listening. I'll believe it when I see it falling from the sky. Then, I may go stand in it.

There is nothing worse that knowing someone you love is going through pain and not being able to do anything about it. All you can do is love that person and hope that things work out quickly and as painlessly as possible. I guess that's why we need Heaven.

Today is a wonderful day! I'm going to pick up a friend in a bit, and we are going to spend the afternoon doing one of my very favorite things - looking at a house!! Anyone who knows me knows that I am obsessed (well, almost!) with houses. Big, little, old, new, you name it. When my peers were reading 17 and Teen Beat magazines, I was nose-deep into 1001 House Plans. I can walk on a slab and tell you the layout - I tell you, it's a gift! Anyway, I'm a happy woman; an afternoon with a good friend and new construction! I may even splurge and have a Coke!!

When we met, Andy was a lifeguard for the university pools. He was tanned, with shoulder-length curly hair, bleached lightly from the sun and pool chemicals. I confess, his beautiful hair was one of the things that attracted me to him; I had long, straight, mousy brown hair that hung straight, and while that was the fashion at the time, mine was not all that pretty.
When he went to work for the prison system, all that beautiful hair fell to the barber's floor - a safety precaution so I was told. I cried, but in time got used to it.
Over the years, the curls fell straight, and the thickness just fell. Little by little, the color changed darker, and then began to be interspersed with a little gray here and there.
These days, the length is about 1/4 of an inch all over, with the top mostly gone. When the sun shines on his head, it reflects off the gray, and it almost appears he has a halo.
It makes me smile.

If I have a fantasy, I think it would be to sing on a stage and have thousands and thousands of people hear me. I'm a great fan of Paul Simon, and when we saw him a few years ago, I thought he had to have one of the top 10 jobs in life - to move people to their feet and have them sing the songs along with you.
Not long after that, I was asked to sing with a couple of co-teachers on the intercom during morning announcements. We were in a small little room, just the 3 of us, and when the song began, and I heard them (both more experienced at singing before others), I froze. It was horrible. That is when my fantasy came into perspective. They haven't asked me to join them again... I'll stick to congregational singing, thank you.

Working on final plans for our trip - 3 weeks away! Usually, by now, everything is planned, reserved, paid for, packed, etc. For some reason, this one is not so hectic - perhaps because, for once, not every penny is having to be accounted for. Our first time to Estes Park was idyllic - almost a storybook vacation. The girls were wonderful, weather cooperated, and even though I thought I'd seen "mountains" in the Texas Hill country, the sight of the Rockies took my breath away. My personal favorite among God's wonders in nature. I hope to be that breathless again -

Andy's Father's Day was an odd day. Church as usual, then out to eat with a young couple we're getting to know. Told him that I've gone in with Dana on his gift - I didn't forget him - and that was fine with him. Wait till he gets it!! :) Anyway, after lunch, we ended up at the cemetary where my parents are buried. Dad has been gone an amazing 16 years, and Mom coming on 5 years.

What do you do at a cemetery? We just stood there a bit, reflecting on time passing and where we "want" to be buried when our time comes. Then, silence. Andy noted that no matter where a cemetery is, it is quiet. The nature of the beast, I guess - most people go there for comfort and peace. Anyway, we came on home and he talked to our daughters and his dad. All the bases covered - till next year. We are blessed to have our girls. I am blessed to have him as a parent in parenting.
Thanks, Andy, for 26 years in this partnership.

Between my being out of town for a couple of days and computer glitches, I've not posted in a few days. It was fun to get away for a couple of nights, and not having to cook or be responsible for anything but myself.
It's three weeks until our vacation to the mountains. I love mountains - they invigorate me and stir my soul like nothing else. Andy picked the mountains to celebrate our 30 years of marriage, and even though it's not the trip we originally planned, I'm truly looking forward to it. Being alone with Andy and having him relaxed will be the best. Being a grown-up with all it's responsibilities can wear you down, and he's really needing a break. Our married daughter and her sweet husband will be with us some of the time. Gravy for the roast, having them there.
See 'ya-

If I could, I'd take time and pull it all together where I could have all my best friends in one place, together, where I could feast on their wisdom and humor and spiritual knowledge. There'd be Cathy, Dianne, Shanon, Mary Beth,
Jackie,Roxanna and more that elude my mind right now. We'd laugh, sing, study, ponder and love each other, and though they don't know each other, I know they would get along, because they are all amazing women. They all come from different parts of my life, and have seen me at my best and worst, and yet they love me. And I love them.

My sister called last night. She lives far away, and I haven't spoken to her in over 2 years. I've tried email, and old addresses from time to time, but she's had a bit of a normadic lifestyle for many years, and so I wasn't surprised that I couldn't reach her.
She's been ill; her words were that she'd "flat-lined" a couple of times over the past year. She's married and sound good. We've both lost touch with our older brother in Florida as well, so it's not just us. We lost our mother, who was the glue holding our lives together, and so we'll all moved on. She (mom) would be sad; she taught us that family always comes first. It's just that we all three have different families.
I'm glad she called. I"ll keep her number off caller-i.d.

One of my pet peeves is parents who are creative with the spelling of their children's names. As a teacher, I often wonder if they are being "creative" or if they are just terrible spellers. One year, as I scanned the class lists of our school, I saw Ariel (Little Mermaid years) spelled at least a dozen different ways. Now surely all those parents weren't just being cute.

Names are personal. That may sound like a contradiction to the previous paragraph, but you should be able to read a name and know what it is, or upon hearing it spoken, not have to ask how to spell it. The reason I'm on this rant is that I sang at a funeral for a woman today whose name was pronounced "Delia", but was spelled as if the person filling out the birth certificate had a seizure while writing it. Her own son said he'd spent his life spelling it out for people.

When we named our girls, we went short and sweet. I'm hoping they keep that in mind someday, when they're naming my grandchildren!!

I love maps. Had a friend who had them hanging all over her house, and it was so fun just to walk from room to room and see them. Maps mean adventure, travel, dreams. They lead you to places never seen before and away from the mundane everyday life that we seek to escape.

I have a new atlas. I love looking at all the places I want to go and remind myself of places I've been. The former greatly outweighs the later, but I'm still young. In fact, Andy and I will be taking a trip in just about a month. Our younger daughter and her husband will be joining us about half-way through, and I'm looking forward to that. They take each day as a gift to be opened and enjoyed, and it's fun to be part of that enthusiasm. We've all had fun looking at the map.

June, July & August - HA! Let me correct this misnomer - there IS no August vacation for teachers anymore, and June is soon going to be gone. One of the perks of teaching is the summer break, but I have always resented the fact that people assumed that was why I am a teacher. Sure, I choose not to teach summer school; I have in the past, but found for my sanity I need not to. Teaching is a wonderful profession - I look back on 25 yrs. of touching children and making an imprint on their lives, but Sept. to May is enough. Actually, with the TAKS test now, by early March, the kids AND teachers are done. Brain-fried. Finished. Stick a fork in it. Our hours are so intense now with testing, counseling, mothering, guarding, and nursing that when the time comes for summer, I want nothing else to do, thank you. No days filled with "accomplishments" - just let my brain veg out and leave me alone. "What did you do today?" makes me want to scream. Nothing. My mind relaxed and I rested my weary self. I don't want to plan out my days and be on a schedule. Until about Aug. 1. Then, I'll be ready to go back and start all over again. New kids, new calendar, new challenges. That's what I love about teaching.
Now, what movie do I want to watch today?!? :)

My dear husband is in the kitchen finishing up the mashed potatoes. He doesn't know I hear him, but I do. We have a "deal" after 30 years of marriage - I cook dinner, he does the dishes. I really like it, except that now I need someone to do the cooking. This stage of my life - my 50s - plays with my mind and my hormones, and now I am tired of cooking and sweating, which both come with the stage. I'd like to eat out every night, but in a small town like ours, there's just not a lot of options. I hear we're getting a Chili's....

Houston - we survived a whirlwind trip over and back to celebrate my nephew's graduation from High School this past weekend. He is a good guy in a world of piercings, tatoos and saggy britches. Everyone who attended the bar-b-que would tell you that he is gracious, mannered and funny, not to mention a hard worker. I hope everyone knows someone like Kyle; it restores your faith in teenagers to spend time with him. He will have a wonderful life thanks to a family that kept him grounded and optimistic about his future. He's a lucky guy, and we are so glad he's "one of us." Love you, buddy.

I love my daughters. I know, every mom says that, but none with as much gratitude as me. My own mother loved me as much as she could, but I don't think she really wanted to. I was a girl, and she made it very clear that boys were the chosen children. When I came along, many years after my brother, she felt this love for me that all mothers do, but it just didn't make sense to her. I was "wrong", and it took all my life to convince herself that it was okay to love me as a girl. She did everything she could - sewed "cool" clothes, bought me dolls, made a playhouse, gave me lessons, etc. But I was still a girl, and when I didn't act like a boy, she never knew how to act in response. How sad for her. And me.
Then God blessed my life with not ONE daughter, but two. Marvelous little pink things who taught me through their innocence that it's not our sexual identity that makes us worthy but just the very fact that we ARE souls from God, sent down to bless lives and pass on that human emotion of love to others. And they taught me about mothers and daughters in the process. That is why I love my girls.
Thanks, my lovelies.

24! I finally got around to watching the season finale today, and my blood pressure is almost back to normal! The worst part was when the screen announced the next season begins January 2007!! Can I wait that long to find out what fate comes to Jack!! At least we know what happened to that nasty President Logan! Man -
I love that show!!