Dana's Story

First off, let me say "Happy Birthday" to my Dana. Here is her "story" -

Andy and I married in 1976. I was ready for a baby - he wanted to wait and spend time building our marriage. While I didn't like the idea, I wanted him to be as ready as I was (I thought!), and so I put my dreams on hold. Turned out to be a good idea!

3 years pass. Sweet times of friendship, intimacy, growing in the Lord and bonding as a couple. Exactly what he (Andy) knew we needed. The time came to have a baby... or so we thought. Things didn't work out as quickly as we'd thought, and months passed by. No baby. Temperature charts, documentation of monthy events, etc filled each day with drudgery instead of celebration.

Finally, one day as I'm leaving for school, I hand him a cup of fresh, morning urine and ask him to drop it by the doctor's office. Thinking back on it, what a fun thing to do after working all night! But he did, and told me later that he'd slept not a wink, anticipating a call. When I got home, he shared the news; a baby was on the way!! (This is WAY before texting and email!) It was time to celebrate!!

Our dear friends and neighbors, Mark and Shanon Tissue, treated us to a fancy dinner. She even broke out their wedding china which had never been used, and we dreamed big dreams of this new life.

Months pass; some slowly, others quickly. Soon, Shanon is pregnant also, with their daughter Meredith. (One of my most favorite memories is of Shanon coming home from school and coming straight over to our house and laying baby Dana on her large, round belly to "play" with the baby. Sweet, precious memory!) Showers are given, nursery is built, and in due time, the date arrives.

Mom and dad come over, and when we wake them to announce that we are heading to the hospital, Dad hops in the car with us for the ride over. I never, ever told him, but it was a little surreal to be going to have your baby with your dad tagging along... but I'm so glad he was there. He never left the whole time I was in labor.

And it was a LONG labor; 24+ hours. People came and people went. Other women came in and had their babies while I labored. Nurses' shifts changed, and still, no baby. Andy even went home at one point to get some sleep, only to be called back to help calm my mom down... and no baby.

The delivery went smoothly, but when they did the Apgar test on her, I noticed the nurses were not giving her the most glowing scores. They assured me, though, that the little whimper was just fine - but not the robust cry I'd expected from my newborn. They whisked her off to the nursery and took me to my room to get some rest... I was pretty tired.

The next morning, my doctor comes in. He tells me (Andy was still at home) that he'd like a pediatrician to look at Dana... just a precaution. Okay. Gullible me picks one (hadn't done THAT yet for some reason...), and off he goes.

Evidently, because of my history with asthma and the long, long labor, they'd decided to give me a shot of demerol. Fine. The problem came when the nurse didn't write the shot on my chart, and the next nurse who cared for me saw the order and gave me another shot - too close to the other one. I was fine, but Dana almost died as a result. Later, I found out from some friends from church that they had stayed all night at the nursery window, watching. Evidently, the nurses didn't let Dana sleep at all that night, for fear she wouldn't wake up.

A few days passed... I had to go home baby-less... and all appeared well. She was beautifully perfect and except for not wanting to eat a lot, all went well. At her 4 month checkup, the pediatrician drops the bomb that we needed to do a brain-wave test, because they wanted to make sure she didn't suffer brain damage because of the Demerol. That was the longest hour of my life... the perfect little girl in my arms may face a life of struggles because of a mistake.

Well, all ended up just fine. Dana was and is perfectly fine, thank you very much. She instantly was and remains a dream come true. God was good to protect her from harm, and every day on her birthday, I remember that day with joy and thanksgiving. "What might have been" crosses my mind, but I quickly replace those thoughts with what IS and what WILL BE.

We enjoyed our baby with so much love and hope that, a couple of years later, Erin joined our little family... her story later!

Pt. 2

Once I was awake, I started thinking about other things. Here is a sampling:

~ my weight loss and how it has changed my body.
~ the upcoming retreat
~ going to Stream Austin and visiting Mary Beth and Rick
~ money
~ Liz, Bladen, and new baby Johnson
~ Erin's pregnancy
~ what time it is in Cairo, and what is Dana doing at that specific moment while I am laying there
~ things I'm in the mood to do to the house

and so on. One thing leads into another, and soon an hour has passed. I don't worry about it TOO much, because I am retired and can stay in bed after Andy leaves for work. Not that I want to lay awake every night, but when it happens, I try to turn my thoughts to the positive and not worry. Not always easy to do!!

Odd dreams and other things that keep me awake at night...

Every night, I get up at least once. I use that time to take some medication and cuddle up to a sleeping Andy. Usually, I just fall right back asleep.

Not last night. About 3:30, I woke up and Andy was stirring. I told him of my dream:

He and I went into this bathroom, which had 3 showers. One was his, one was Daniel's, and one was Johnny's. (Daniel is a current friend, Johnny a former college roommate that we haven't seen in probably 20 years.) We choose Johnny's shower, and we spend the whole time discussing the blue and white bar of Zest soap that Johnny uses. (Sorry, so "steamy" scenes in this dream!)

Once we are out, as I am dressing, I hear Dana calling me from another room. She is sick and needs her mama, so I head off in that direction to care for her. Suddenly, in steps Louise (a fellow elder's wife!) and starts telling me something that was odd at 3:30, but sadly I can't remember right now! As I stand there, dripping wet, half-dressed, trying to get to Dana, I wake up.

Okay. Why Johnny; why 3 seperate showers, why Dana calling me, and why Louise? All these things are unrelated to each other, yet my brain chose to weave them into a dream.

I didn't fall back asleep until after 5:00.

Looking at life at 57

Today is my 57th birthday. 57. 3 years from 60 and 13 from 70. That is hard to face, folks... my grandmother died at 70 and my mother at 74. The implications are not lost on me.

However, on this day, I am feeling younger than I have in years. I went shopping today and bought a cute - yes, cute! - dress only one size from my pre-surgery goal. That is hard to fathom, even though I tried it on and saw myself in it! I admit that I still walk through the "Woman's" section, although I NEVER intend to buy another thing in that section... it's just a habit that will take a while to break.

This year has had life-saving implications in more ways than one. This time last year, I was struggling to prepare myself for the surgery of all surgeries, and while I thought I was prepared for the aftermath, I could not have imagined how it was going to be. What I learned most of all was that people love me so, so much - and that I didn't know how to handle their love and care, their support was at times overwhelming and unappreciated.

This year dawns with so much anticipation - more bright days ahead than I've ever allowed myself. My life is sweeter now than ever before.

So, while this sweet days fades to dark, I will spend it in our home with the man I love with all my heart. I've talked to both my sweet daughters, and I've enjoyed good wishes from countless friends and family. I am blessed.

Happy Birthday to me!

Emotions

On Wednesday, I stood at the airport as Dana entered to fly back to Egypt. My throat was full with a big lump, and all I could think was, "She's gone again!" Watching her say goodbye to Erin, Liz, and Bladen was almost harder than saying my goodbyes to her - but I did without blubbering too much! ...

Years ago, Jeff Walling - a favorite speaker of mine - talked about how God was good to give us emotions. He talked about walking in on his wife as she was watching a "Tear-jerker" on tv. She was beside herself, crying uncontrollably while he watched. He left her there to finish the movie, and as soon as it was over, she came into the room with him like nothing had ever happened. The emotions of the moment had already passed....

As we drove away from the airport, with my daughter on her way across the ocean to a life I don't really fathom, I was full of emotion. Words were hard to eek out, and I really wanted to get Erin on track again after leaving her sister behind as well.

From behind me in the backseat, I hear Liz and Bladen being so funny; I laughed. It was what I needed. I still miss Dana in my "everyday life", but I know that those really sad emotions have moved on, and I can talk to her on Skype with joy and humor; thankful to God for his control over me and my emotions!