What, now?

I had it all planned out. The perfect vacation for my husband, and NASA messed it up!! I was going to take Andrew to Florida this July for the launching of the next-to-the-last shuttle mission - I could see myself standing beside him as the count-down occurred and feel his hand squeeze mine and the shuttle roared into the clear, Florida sky. Barring a hurricane barreling down on us, it was utopic in my mind's eye.

Then, I checked the calendar one more time before I made reservations. They've moved the flights to Sept. and Nov.

Curses!!

34 and counting

34 years ago today, at 4:00 in the Huntsville Church of Christ, I said, "I do." Little did I know just what that all entailed, and I'm happy to say that, for the most part, it's been a pretty easy commitment.

Looking back, here are some of the things "I do" have meant to me:

~ I do laugh after all these years at the majority of his goofy jokes
~ I do enjoy Star Trek as much as he does, and can quote most of the movies right along with him!
~ I do love his family, and feel honored to be part of the tribe.
~ I do take great comfort in his routines and patterns of his life
~ I do feel safe in knowing that he has my back when life is rough
~ I do love riding alongside him in a car for hours to get to the mountains we both love
~ I do take pride in the beautiful daughters we've raised together
~ I do love watching him as he serves his God
~ I do take pleasure in the feel of his hand intertwined in mine
~ I do look forward to the rest of my life with him, and eternity that follows.

Happy Anniversary, Andrew - I still do~

It's time

I can tell it's the end; I'm overly tired, emotional, stressed, and angry. Very angry.

Then, Mrs. B. comes in with my end-of-the-year gift. Her card made it all better; I need to frame it for future days.

An Intervention Report

A couple of weeks ago, when the girls were home, they sat me down to have an intervention. I want you to know, I did really good since then, but now I'm falling off the wagon -

It appears too many of my blogs have focused on my Spurs. Not everyone, apparently, likes reading about the boys over and over - so the girls felt perhaps I needed to lighten up on the Silver and Black. Being the obedient woman I am, I took what they had to heart.


Until this morning, when Ihave to post at least one more basketball blog:

To LeBron - HA HA HA - out you go!! Another year with no ring - so sad.


So, till next year: Go, Spurs, Go!! :)

May once again!

We met the Huttons during the Summer. We spent lots of time together, playing games, laying on the trampoline watching the skies late into the night, and so on. It was great.

Then, School started, and our time together was cut marginally. We still got together and such, but the carefree nature of the time was limited. Still...

Then, came May. I'll never, ever forget Jackie looking at me and saying, "You get mean in May!" and she was serious. The stress of putting the year to rest along with the exhaustion does change me. I confess. I think of that every year when I become that person again.


Well, it's May. Enough said. 16 days.

Happy Mothers' Day

I'm sending out early Mothers' Day wishes, because these women are on my mind right now, and I'm at a stage where, if they leave, they may not come back. Sad, but true.
So, here goes:

To my mama: Margaret, I love and appreciate you more now than I ever did while you were alive. People told me that this would be the case, but I was so angry and confused then that unfortunately it didn't make sense to me. I miss doing things with you - Bingo, Garage Sales, talking about Liz and Bladen and my kids. I still harbor feelings of resentment toward you about the way you let your life end and that may take a while, but at least now I smile sometimes when I talk about you. That's a big start.

Mom - I'm so glad you are HERE on this Mother's Day. I really didn't think you would be, and your progress so far has amazed us all. In those days following your fall, I told you how I feel about you, and I truly hope you remember those words. You've never really let me get close to you, and I'm glad I had a chance to share with you my admiration and love. Keep healing.

Erin - You amaze me. Don't be so hard on yourself now about the job you are doing; there's time for that later, when the kids are grown. Relax and enjoy them now, safe in the fact that you are making the best choices for them and are motivated by that primal mother love.

Dana - Someday soon. I know it in my soul. You will amaze me, too.

Jackie - I love that you love my girls like they are yours. That gives me peace.

Shanon - You have been through so much as a Mother; from the highest high to the valleys of Hell. You've hung in there and come through with your family still in tact. I've watched you from a distance and wished so many times that I was there to physically hold you through those dark days. I'm glad to see that what didn't kill you did make you a stronger person. I love you dearly.

Kara - while I haven't known you for long, your story and the passion with which you pray for children who need "forever families" truly touches my heart.

Dianne - As if raising 4 of your "own" wasn't enough, you took on another. She is blessed to have you in her corner, as are your other children.

While there are many other wonderful moms I'm thinking of today, I think I'll stop here.
I hope my little attempt at putting my heart into words comes out right.

Every Spring

I confess - having Summers off is a big perk of my job, but it is not the reason I became a teacher. Paul is the reason; a pretty damaged little boy I worked with when I was in High School, who lived in a home that made him eat off the floor like a dog, and who was tormented by other kids, who needed an advocate who saw the little boy beneath the problems.

Now, almost 30 years past, I'm ready to get out. While I love the kids like I always have, the machine which school has become is almost intolerable and unrecognizable to me. The right things are said, and there are teachers who still try to pull it off, but school as I knew it and gave my life to it is gone to me forever.

So I find myself stuck in a place that I cannot leave because I'm not financially able to stop. I go and do what is expected of me, until the time comes. It's very hard to not have a "quitter's " mentality - to continue being the professional I want to continue being, so I focus on my kids, and hope the time passes quickly.

A part of history

This weekend, our congregation celebrated 100 years of worshipping in Pleasanton. So much history was shared; both sweet and inspirational. Some pretty funny stories, as well - and a couple of good "videos" from years past. As each frame rolled by, and each story was shared, I thought of so many people who are no longer with us. We came in 1987, and promptly found our groove amid this wonderful group of saints. I'm not saying it's always been perfect, but it is home. Like Dorothy says in the "Wizard of Oz", there's no place like home.


People I thought of this weekend: Gus Schutzenberg, Bubba Lester, Bob Rackley, Dennis and Lola Fae Showers, Frank Perkins, Roy and Hazel Stevens, J.F. Andrews just to name a few. I also missed Roxie, the Rosenauers, Andy and Jackie, Mike and Carol Pawelek - why weren't they there??

I was blessed to have Dana and the Johnsons with us, and even though Liz and Bladen are too young to remember the events of the weekend, their Nana and Daddio sure were glad they could come with their sweet parents. It was very special, and someday I'll be able to explain to them how glad I was .

So, now begins the next 100 years.