One of the things we did in Colorado was to go to a Putt-Putt place in the evening. I was green inside and out with my bug, but wanted to capture every moment in my mind's eye; so I went and sat while my family golfed. Fun.
As I always do, I began to speculate as I watched them all having fun and being so very suave. I looked at them and saw them as if I weren't there at all; you know - gone. Away. Dearly departed and eternally at rest. It was very surreal. I imagined that they would go on just fine without me and continue to live life with some very happy days. On the one hand, it was very sad to imagine myself in that place, but on the other hand, it was oddly comforting to know that they would be okay - have each other to rely on.
Is that being 51 and menopausal, or tired and sick, or just weird?!