Tuesday, September 16, 2008

What is it with me lately?!?

I don't get it... I am usually not a crier. Life has taught me that tears don't change anything or fix it, and for a while, nothing made me cry. My head was logical and my heart was hardened. Not even the monthly hormone rage made we weepy.

Now, I cry. Happy, sad, disappointed, patriotic, memories, dreams, you name it. I read a story - I cry. I talk about Liz - I cry. I look in the mirror, and I cry. I think of things I've dreamed that didn't come to fruition - I weep. Yesterday, I sat in my car and cried a while. Just me and Rush Limbaugh. The tears flowed and then I had to act like I had allergies when the kids came.

I don't think I'm depressed... I think I'm 53 and things hit you differently then. Your husband doesn't "get it," and you worry the kids if they find you crying for no reason, so you hold it in until you are all alone, and just cry. It's the one thing you can do when there are no other options to alleviate the situation, and you feel better afterward.

So, while I don't understand what's going on, I'll just go with it and maybe it'll pass soon.

I really, really hope so.

1 comment:

Dana said...

Tears DO do something - they are cleansing and healing for the soul. Maybe you're just relearning some beautiful and beneficial things.