When Andrew and I married, I was determined to have a "better" marriage than my parents. They fought all the time; loudly and passionately. My mom was not meant to be one of those "submissive" wives, and my dad really wanted one of those, so there lied the problem. I grew up with knots in my stomach, swearing to myself that my marriage would not be like that.

The result of that that determination was that I always gave in. I rarely ever really demanded my own way if Andy wanted something to be different. It made things much calmer, but it made me begin to wonder if I wasn't going about this marriage thing the wrong way. I never told Andy how I felt, so he went through years thinking things were hunky-dorey. Inside, I was becoming rebellious. I've been able to adapt to a better way of making my ideas known, and it's all worked out okay.

Until lately. I've totally lost the little submissive self I was, and Andy is on the sidelines watching me morph into this totally different woman than he's used to. I don't duck and run and say "okay, dear" like I used to; I stand more firm than ever. Sometimes, I watch myself from the other side and wonder who I am... I hope I'm picking battles worth fighting and not just being difficult for difficulties' sake. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks after all.